Do Grandchildren make us stay?

gmelon it was my dream to live by the sea at some time in my life - once work was over, but the pull of our AC and the GC made it impossible for us to move far away. We'd miss them too much and we are quite involved with our GC. We delight in watching them grow and change and they are so loving and close.

We stayed put. No regrets as we found a lovely house, perfect for us, about eight miles from them, but I want a lottery win now so we can have a holiday home by the sea.

I could have written your post word for word, day6.

I live 200 miles from my DGC, so have never been on hand to help with DGC, but to turn the question round, I have never considered relocating to be nearer. We have lived in the same broad locality (within a 40 mile radius) for the last 50 years and have a network of friends and activities that I would be sorry to move from. Such a move would also take us much further from our DD.

Actually, we briefly considered it once, when the DGC were babies and for a few weeks it looked as if DDiL might have a crippling and progressive disease. Thankfully that wasn't the case, and we were able to relax.

Yes, we moved to France, my grandchildren were into their teens but my husband's grandchildren were much younger. I keep in touch daily with Whatsapp etc and they all come to visit.
I am not overly maternal and am quite happy for my family to get on with their lives independently of me. Of course I will be there to help if needed.

I never lived more than 2 miles from my parents and saw them most days ,my children are the same its a 10 minute walk from one and the other has just moved 25 minutes away by car...into the country .She comes here to do shopping so pops in on her way past.Still see them all the time.Its just being close to family thats important .Nothing is more important than that in my life .I would never consider moving away from them

In our case absolutely. Our eldest daughter lives in Australia. She and husband have no children.
Our youngest has one son, she lives 2 miles away and we are quite involved with his care. He’ll be here in half an hour.
I’m not sure how much we save them financially but I am certain their life would be much harder without us.
Of course we just love DGS to bits and I feel his life is better with us here. His other GandG are older than us and are not in such good health so he only visits them with his parents for short times.
Maybe we’ll be off to Australia in 10years time when the last people he will want to spend time with will be us?

We moved 500 miles away when DDs were living independently. Now there are 2 DGC and the marriage fell apart I moved half way back which makes it easier to visit. My visits to help with childcare are very special but I couldn't live in London again. We FaceTime and that keeps me going between visits

Yes, we did exactly that last year having always lived within 10 minutes of our 4 grandchildren.

I did worry that everything would change and it has but not for the worse.

We do less childcare but we do more being grandparents.

We do less pop in for an hour and more stay for a long weekend.

We have to make more effort because we're the ones not working but we came to the conclusion that once the youngest started school visits would be less ad hoc during the week even if we had stayed and more around weekends. So the distance ( we moved 100 miles away) actually didn't really disrupt anything more than pop ins.

The children love visiting because now we live in the country as opposed to in a town as they do. Their parents love it because now we have them for large parts of the holidays . We love it because we now live where we want to , are able to do the things we want yet still find time to be grandparents .

For us- it worked.

When my daughters were both engaged to be married I thought about my future, widowed years before, I thought I would like to go back home to Aberfan, only 24 miles away. Younger daughter married , I could go home, but ten minutes away was my 2 year old grandson, then came my two granddaughters , I am still in the same town and they have or are moving away.

My daughter lived with me when she gave birth to my GS (I was already divorced) then the 3 of us emigrated to Spain. DD and GS came back to Britain after 18 months but I stayed as I had met my OH. He and I came back 7 years later but settled 300 mile from DD in an area he came from as he had contacts for employment. Now I visit her as much as I can but fell guilty that I cant support her more. My GS is ASD and she is still a lone parent. My OH has work here and his elderly Mum but who knows what the future will bring.

We would never ever move away from the grandchildren.All five of them live in the same town and we live in a village nearby.DH especially is enjoying helping out and playing with them.He feels he missed out with our children when they were growing up as he had a very pressurised job and very little free time.He is making up for it now.?

I could never live far from my family, my daughter lives next door with SIL and one grandson, my 2 sons with DIL’s and 4GC all live approx an hour away, so I am very lucky. I was asked to consider working in Australia a few years ago, and even tho it was only for 6 months, I just couldn’t go ! In theory it sounded a wonderful opportunity... however, the reality of saying goodbyes to grandchildren that used to cling to my legs when I went home .... I knew I was just kidding myself that I could go, and I just wouldn’t have been happy. We are all different so it has to be an individual choice.

I'd never move away from them. My son is a single father - I'm the co-parent of his two children and very devoted to them. He moved here when his situation changed and we'll always be close. My daughter had her 2 children when they were 1,000km away and it nearly killed me, I missed them so much. Thankfully her husband got a work transfer last year and they are now 1 hour's drive away. I see them all every week. These little people are my life - I'd never move away from them.

We moved 100 miles away from 2 of my children but I have other children in different parts of the country. I still travel back to babysit and stay over and have my granddaughter in school holidays.

Very good to read all of the threads on this subject! My don in law is a serving soldier, finishing 26 years of service this summer and the family’s final posting is in Catterick, North Yorkshire. They like it so much they’ve decided to remain here.... he’s a Scot and my daughter is an Essex gir( but she’s not orange) . So last November , much to the dismay and disapproval of my friends, I have moved to be near the family... what a move over 2 days and great expense! I couldn’t be happier! I now see my beautiful 2 year old flame haired beauty whenever I wish and look after her each week regularly while Mum works part time. My friendships haven’t suffered as I regularly get a nice cheap train to London, see an exhibition and then travel on to Essex or to my other daughter in Hampshire. The move has really made me reassess how I use my time and I am lucky enough to have found work here as a Supply teacher which I love so my leap into the dark is working out well in every way! It was a big decision to make but I’m so glad I made it! I’ve always been somewhat unpredictable! Life throws a curved ball sometimes so catch it!

That was meant to read, my SON in law!

I've moved away & come back - twice, once in the UK & once abroad! Even though the grandchildren have grown up & work away now, it's easier to see them even fleetingly face to face when they visit their parents.
I also value old friends, surroundings & shops, and- on a practical note, familiar hospitals!
I think it depends on what sort of person you are what will suit you best.

We had a small apartment in Malaga (bought 15y ago) and the family always knew we wanted to enjoy being there more once we retired (just over 3 years ago now). So we divide our time between our two little places & it’s heaven. When we are here we are doting grandparents. We never wanted to be surrogate parents & be factored in for childcare plans. So many of our friends do it, an open ended arrangement & they look shattered. They say it’s too uncomfortable now to change things, or ‘we did it for one & feel we ought to do it now for the other’ etc. But much as it is done with kindness and love, they resent the lack of freedom in their retiremet - only being ‘able’ to get away in school holidays (when flights are more expensive). I feel very lucky. The best of both worlds. I realise not everyone has these choices so I never take my good fortune for granted.

I relocated 13 years ago to be near my grandchildren and it's the best thing I ever did. It keeps me young and active too.

I would never consider moving away from my grandchildren or my children BUT I would never discourage them from moving away from me as they have to live their own lives. Even if I didn't have my children, I'd have my Mother as my sister got away when she was much younger.

We have not moved at all (46 years in this village, 2 miles from where I was born. It was the 2DDs who within months of each other, sold their city flats, bought cottages near ours and produced babies. Recently retired, we were able to offer loads of childminding and DH renovated both of their new homes.

What goes around, comes around. Now that the DGC are 9, 10 and 11 and DH has FTD the roles are reversed - we benefit from loads of practical and emotional support from the DDs and their OHs.

I always hankered after a cottage by the sea with the hills behind but have settled for just that, if only for 2/52 each year, when the whole family decamps to Isle of Barra.

I'd love to relocate but I'd miss my DC and GDC who live within a reasonable travelling distance. I moved away from my parents though with no regrets. My grandmother lived near us when I was a child but I never felt close to her and I often wonder what my GC will think of me when they're older! I can be a bit of battleaxe!

My GC are 13 and 21 and both live very active lives. Once I retired (District nurse) I felt that I need a complete change of life and moved to France for seven years and then Portugal. I see my youngest GC on his birthday and hopefully once a year during school holidays other than that his life is far too busy to spare time to visit or for us to visit him.
Eldest DS in uni and doesn't have any contact with us, his choice not ours, so I belive that we have to get on with our lives and try to maintain contact with their very busy lives I don't think it would have been any different if we had remained in the area they lived. We have to know when to let go and be there when we're needed.

I would have loved to move to France, but missed the chance when my son and his wife had the children. I don't think I could move now, not until they're a lot older anyway. and by that time I'll be too old! My ddil relies on me and her own mum quite heavily, and I adore my dgc and would miss them terribly if i couldn't see them two or three times a week, so I'll have to make do with holidays!