How much will it cost to leave the EU?

sadly Scotlland isn't yours to "give" we are supposed to be a partner in this toxic union.Like ALL contracts when you decide to break it you have to fulfill the conditions and it would appear that we have signed up to these sums of money so we HAVE to pay them.Would any other country ever want to trade with us if we reneged on our debts to the EU? As a business owner for over 40 years theres no way I'd trade with any company that had a history of bad debts so we either pay up and shut up and get on with the Brexit nonsense we seem to be committed to or we stay IN the EU and try to change it from within.Quite what our option will be is a mystery....the people who are "negotiating" for us dont seem competent enough to manage a piss up in a brewery .WE voted remain ...62 % of us ...at least we can get some amusement from the English MP's blundering idiocy which hads been evident from the day after the vote .

I think that even Davis admitted at yesterday's press thingy that there will be ongoing payments.

I saw the ukip bod having hysterics

It was meant to be tongue and cheek paddyann

How can something be a bad debt unless we agree what the debt is in the first place? They can't just make a figure up and demand it.

Oh Bum I didn't mean for it to get serious.

Scotland would be happy with that. And Brighton too.
But that wouldn't balance the EU's budget, it was set up with the expectation that every member country would pay their whack over the length of the financial arrangements.
Just because half the UK believed the Leave campaign's lies, doesn't mean we can be let off.
Unless we turn round now, and say, sorry, we didn't really mean it, can we just get on as usual. At which all the EU and most of the UK would breathe a big sigh of relief

We could always organize a meeting with the big wigs of the EU on the 1st of April and shout;

Poisson d'avril or Aprilscherz

Or at a push April Fool

I was sure Scotland would have been happy to be "gifted" to the EU . I thought that's what Nicola wanted?

You offer a perfectly good solution and get it thrown back in your face.
Hmmmmph some people are never happy.

Has anybody realised this is a light thread? ?

Well Gilly I think we could be very generous and give the EU both Jeremy Corbyn and Theresa May ( leaving us free to pick new leaders)
We could also consider giving them all our wonky shopping trollies ( there must be millions of them.)

......and The Millenium Dome? Knew it would come in for something eventually.

I'm not sure they would either want or accept JC or TM roses . I mean exactly how far would they go to paying that bill? Having said that.....

You might get a pound or two for TM but (thinking as I type) JC' s disciples might just pay a very large ransom to get him back ?

and adding those wonky trolleys might just work ya know !

We should have sent proper comedians to negotiate for us.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=amZsdpLXcIo

Well we can't give them anything in London because that all belongs to Russia and China doesn't it? I think it's part of getting our country back???

Excellent idea Primrose fantastic clip btw ?

Now who's wife could we offer to the old farts in the EU ?

Or maybe Frau Merkel would like a once a month week day romp with our very own Mr Corbyn ?

Oh bum Deeda I was thinking about offering them our Metro system but that's owned by the Germans or our Water but the bloody French have already got their garlic smelling mitts on that !

Think harder !!!!

Ooooooh breaking news ... The German contract on the Tyne and Wear Metro has ended. It's back in our hands.... Yeah

Okay so that about a hundred euros taken care of..... Come on.... Your not trying.

How about Chris Evans? 2 birds with one stone and all that.

Maybe we should just get a big cannon, set it up at Dover and start firing money at France. That might smooth things over for a while at the negotiating table.

Well, Chris Evans is worth 2 million for a start! They can't have Lineker though, cause I like him. And anyway, he is already an honorary Barcelonian and they look on him as one of theirs anyway....

I know of a case where a man was fined £200 for malicious damage, but he can pay it at £1 per week!
Perhaps we can do the same?

There will be a lot of old pound coins that we could pass on soon...[no matter how much I try to get rid of mine I still seem to get a few back when out shopping]. They'll probably be turning up down the back of people's sofas for years to come....

I second roses suggestion of the Millennium Dome and feel we could throw in the Millennium Bridge as a bonus. If Chris Evans is being offered, could we chuck in Jonathan Woss and Russell Brand as a kind of buy two, get one free offer?

What a good idea Chewy a brilliant offer, how could they refuse??

Are we able to trade in any MPS too Gillybob ?

Yeah ""fill yer boots" chewy

Did you have anyone in mind ?

Sir Peter Viggers of floating duck island fame infamy? Tony Blair? Simon Danzcuk? I'm sure others will be able to list more.