The Topper- been there done that.

Oh yes, in my case its never her but a member of her family or a very close friend.
I have known her too long and know too. much about her life that she can't get away with it about herself.
With her it also includes illness. She always knows someone who had it far worse or whose operations took far longer.
Her DiL had a miscarriage and "we nearly lost her"
DiL went on a planned weekend away the next day.

I had a GP some years ago who was like this. He had always had the same illness as I did but worse (except the thrush!). He could drive his car with severe Labyrinthitis. I don't think so! A severe attack is prostrating.

I also have a walking companion who tops or belittles every subject I mention, and buys 'only the best'. We seem to have the same conversations every week too, she doesn't remember the previous ones, even when I comment 'I know, you said before'. With that and farting as she walks, a fun Sunday morning is had!

shysal !

I don't know anyone who is a Topper ( though I used to enjoy reading that comic)
But a friend of my DH was telling us, that he bought a new ( very expensive car)
And went to visit his BIL, who on seeing it, said 'Oh, have I got something to show you rushed into his garage and came out with a new set of spanners!

I loved the Topper! Such a good comic

I think we all have a friend who is a topper - I use hope it isn't me!

When I saw the thread title I thought it was going to be about mattresses!

My mother used to be a bit of a 'topper' with her friends. We knew her stories were gross exaggerations though and the temptation to contradict her was overwhelming but we never dared.

My brother used to call them LOOFAs - acronym for Load of old fanny adams or....Load of old f****ng a***holes, depending on how exasperated you were.

Bit of a Donald don't you think?

I don't have any friends kittylester so it must be me.

I only ever race to the bottom (not sure if that counts?)

Good one absent

I thought we were all your friends gilly

Do you also have the copier?
Not the same friend but we have friends who, in the days when we would do things {now long gone) whatever we did they would do.
I can site, buying a caravan, redoing the dining room, having a conservatory as the major things, and they were always bigger and better than ours.
Please be my friend gilly if any of mine read my posts I will certainly need new ones.

Of course I have you lovely, lovely people on Gransnet kittylester and annsixty

Call me stupid....... All together now...... "STUPID" but I don't get Absents post about Donald

Trump - always trumping. Which has entirely different connotations in our house!!

Oh I see . Penny drops.

Mine aren't so polite and tend to use the F word . It used to really upset my mum who was very prudish.... I tried to tell her the more she showed them she was shocked the more they would say it!

Thank you kittylester

Indeed no I do not refer to anyone on here - its a golf friend- she is technophobic so when asks where I bought something and I invariably say 'tinternet' she says 'load of old rubbish' so that's me told.

When it came to illness my ex husband was definitely a topper.

If I had a cold, he had flu.

If I had a cough, he had bronchitis.

If I had a headache, he had a migraine.

I think it must have been the bane of his life that he couldn't quite manage period pains........

phoenix!!

phoenix try though he may....

In my case it is not a friend it is one of the MILs my sons have. Drives me mad. Been there done that, didn't like it, hate the food, horrible hotel, but it doesn't stop there. She does not think twice about criticising other people, hideous dress, too much make-up, you mention it they have two.

Some people just enjoy being mean and miserable. I do not see the point myself.

Haven't read all the posts so someone may have already mentioned this, but it is possible that your friend has a narcissistic personality disorder. I recently met somebody whom I can't avoid because of what I do. She just does not draw breath in talking about herself, her doings, her success, how well she is regarded etc. People like that are often damaged by their formative experiences. It came home to me when I picked up a book in our local library called 'it's not you, it's your mother'. It is about how you cope when your mother has an NPD. My mum doesn't by the way! However, the woman I have mentioned jumped off every page. The only way to deal with such people, who are emotionally very draining of course, is to give then a wide berth if you can.

A few years ago a friend of ours had a neighbour who loved showing her new acquisitions. One time it was a Lowry print which everyone had to go and admire. He later invited her round to show her an 'original' painting he had. She went round to see a painting-by-numbers he had just finished, hanging in pride of place in the living room. Exit one annoyed neighbour. ?

Just remembered my husband also has a friend, male, who tops everything people say to him. Been all over the world, buys only the best clothes, knows everything there is to know about computers (not!), gives lectures at the U3Age (because he thinks he is an expert at everything). Now I know better because I used to work for him when in the Civil Service and his office used to stink in a morning for obvious reasons, he used to say and do things that he would be pulled up about these days not being PC, such an overbearing big-head and he used to tell whoppers! My OH does not like him either but he is one of a crowd who dine together once a month so just puts up with his nonsense.

I definitely know a Topper whose every experience is better than mine. She is a great cook and I always go to some trouble to prepare her lovely, high end meals on the basis that she will apreciate them. Every time she tastes something I've cooked she praises it and then recounts the lovely time she had it better in a 'special' restaurant or by someone whose auntie was related to Rick Stein.

She is also, like some of the Topper friends of above posters, a seriel talker, and monopolises the conversation with Topping tales of Her Wonderful Life without drawing breath. Her audience is invited to share in every (dull) detail of an experience as though 'in real time'.

I think she definitely has some aspects of a NPD.

Sadly, though I like her really and have been friends with her for over 30 years, I almost cannot bring myself to meet up with her this year as I cannot bear the onslaught. It is awful as she is a clever woman who is not full of the usual PC, virtue signalling nonsense many women feel it necessary to adopt and I really would like to have a conversation with her if she would only take it in turns!

I've got a Topper but of a slightly different kind. Unfortunately for her she develops some kind of ailment - or falls back on her (long-standing) anxiety/depression/IBS/migraines - every time I'm below par. It was DH who pointed it out - talk about not seeing the wood for the trees!
How about when she asked me to cook for her party (12 people) when I was waiting for the results of some invasive medical investigations (and may've needed an op)?!
I have 2 (gorgeous) sons, she has 1 daughter. She frequently tells me her relationship with DD is extremely close, thoughtful etc and that I can't possibly have the same kind of relationship with my DSs - there's nothing like mother/daughter bond. Perhaps she forgets I'm a daughter?