The Topper- been there done that.

pheonix snap my exDH is like that, he tries to make his Delivery Room experience more important that both his wives deliveries of a total of 5 children, and quite often launches into (on the phone) ''women make too much fuss whereas...'' before I remind him he is talking nonsense.

I have a 'topper' friend who is extremely competitive and devoutly C of E. Her husband has dreadful rheumatoid arthritis so I am loath to stop having a cuppa now and again but the money boasting is way over the top the more the anxiety.

When a Topper begins their reply with, 'Tell me about it,' I want to shout, 'I JUST HAVE!'

I had a couple of "friends" who seemed to enjoy all of my (many) misfortunes, whilst they continuously bragged about their perfect lives, children, houses, holidays, how rich they were etc. I used to see them every Friday and spent the weekend feeling very bad about myself. I moved house, not very far away, but far enough to have a good excuse to not see them very often.

Have a SIL like that ,looks over everything I have with an expression of distaste,I get the once over from toe to head ... her daughters are the same...all done very well,beautiful popular etc blah blah ..my brother talks over you/at you...never get word in edgewise...have long standing friend I haved named Mimi...as that is what you get...I just listen cant be bothered to even attempt to tell them anything.....think I must be pretty boring ..just keep my thoughts to myself and let them get on with it

Thats called comeuppance Juggernaut. I would have had a chuckle too.

A neighbour of ours is a dreadful 'Topper', she's alienated just about all of the other neighbours on the road.
Her main thing is her son, he's got a better career than everyone else's DC, drives a better car, has a posher house, spends a fortune on foreign holidays, everything about him and his life is perfect. This alone would be bearable, but she belittles everyone else's family.
However, she's walking around studying the ground lately, and has finally stopped 'lording it' over everyone, because her oh so perfect son has just been jailed for fraud and theft!
I admit to having just a tiny little giggle when the news hit the local papers!

Great thread! It brought back memories of my first neighbour. Not long into our first house and had invited them in at Hogmanay as we were house-bound with young family. We had a nice night but a few weeks later she informed me they had got rid of a lot of their furniture as they thought our house looked a lot bigger as it was so cluttered. The reason for that was that we couldn't afford more furniture and when I heard the stuff they got rid of included a piano which I would have given anything for and it was years before we could buy one (second hand even then)it was a bit annoying! She was 20yrs older than me and should have know better but it continued and went on with her choosing similar wallpaper, kitchen units, etc. It ended when we told her we were putting our house on the market and they managed to get their on before ours but luckily we sold first and moved out without a backward glance. It did hurt me a bit that she behaved like that as she was kind to our children and could have been a good neighbour and I suppose she was but that kind of behaviour does get you down a bit.

Marnie, that is so sad. x

My m always had to say the brothers had done it better were more poorly etc etc than I was. She loved her boys. Girls were just a nuisance to be endured and belittled. Even operations were belittled. Her boys had had it worse. This made me be sure to treat daughters and sons the same

I have just remembered the occasion, about four years ago mow when a distant cousin, who I had "met" online while doing the family tree asked if he and his wife could visit while in the area and he and his wife called for coffee en route to somewhere.
we actually got on quite well and still e-mail occasionally.

His wife was the topper

She was telling us about someone she had met who had impressed her and she visited them at home.
She said she was quite surprised by their house,quite small and very ordinary really, and with a sweep round with her gaze she topped it with, rather like yours actually.

Why do the toppers do it ? Is it because they are trying to boost themselves because they feel inferior or insecure ? Just wondering. I tend to pick friends who do this and I think it's because I am quiet and so don't have to make much effort in the conversation. I love my family but don't feel I have anything to brag about .......except my DD and G S

There's a lot of them about! We have two, a married couple, who are experts on everything, their information being gathered from what they have heard of other people's experiences and ailments. Anything we do, any ailments we have, any acquisitions - including our home - are dismissed as 'small'. A sense of humour is essential .

Why would you care? Why are they friends?

Had an aunt like this - she could always top everything - either she'd seen it/done it/bigger/better etc.,, or else one of her bosom buddies would have.

I remember my mother mentioning someone who had a fairly rare disease, and my father came straight back with, 'if you tell X she'll know someone who's had it twice.' lol

My (long deceased) MiL, if ever an illness cropped up in conversation, whether cancer or a cold, always knew someone who'd died from it.

And my SiL, who's a lovely lady, is a terrible name dropper. She's given up with me now as I have a terrible memory for names and her efforts are completely wasted on me. I love listening to her at gatherings weaving names of apparently impressive aquaintances into conversations in order to impress. She's very skilled at it.

I love that expression chewbacca.

When we were first married we bought a white wall which we were very proud of. DH's friend from University came to visit and said. 'We've just bought something like that except it's wider, taller, deeper.....well just better really!' We trot that out regularly to describe 'toppers'.

We stayed with the same friend once in the early 70s when showers were still fairly unusual. He had just had one put in and said 'the shower is a bit of a novelty, isn't it?' As we also had one, I was slightly confused so asked if it played music? That flummoxed him.

When our next door neighbour used to rattle on about how much her latest acquisition had cost, (always more than anyone else would afford, naturally), my old Dad used to say that she "knows the cost of everything, but the value of nowt". Very true.

Oh yes I have/had? not sure as I have not heard from them for years, they could be dead by now for all I know. Not a topper friend, but a Topper Aunt and Uncle, everything they did, or had was more expensive, better or bigger . My Cousins were all brilliant at school, and as soon as they started work they were CEO after a month and turned the whole company around.

None of this was true of course but they ALWAYS did it. Funny thing is they always tried to be " Posh", especially the Auntie, I used to giggle to myself when she got her words muddled up. She did that all the time. Mrs Bucket had nothing on her.

Oh and when they went on Holiday they always made friends with
Surgeons, or company directors , you get the drift?
You know what I am glad I have not heard from them in years they drove me mad

You think YOU have problems with friends like these?
Well, tell me about it!!
I can top that. Let me tell you about .........

I can't remember both names, one was Ann Taylor and the other Janet somebody (in my cousin's year, both older than me )

Here's one for you, "why didn't (insert name of choice) ever get to be a singer?"

Because when practising their scales they went:

Doh, Rey, ME ME ME ME!

Jalima, do tell, or at least give clues!

Angela we have friends like that!!
Not only that, but one of them constantly puts down my DC and has done for years.

I can never get a word in edgeways with some of them to tell them what my DC are doing and they never ask.

Goodness me! Most of my acquaintances are like that!!! on top of which they rarely listen to what I have to say. I just let them get on with it and smile to myself thinking, "Well, if I am that boring, why bother having me around?"

I feel sooo much better knowing I am not the only one.
Now I just need someone to tell me how to deal with it without falling out all together.