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I went to visit my Mum on Thursday......

(32 Posts)
kittylester Sat 06-Aug-16 13:59:51

and found her to be very restless, talking nonsense, crying and complaining of pain. When I left I phoned both brothers and warned them that I wouldn't be surprised if we got a phone call asking us to go in.

A brother went today to discover that Mum has been in the lounge since 8 am and had eaten shepherd's pie and trifle for lunch.

I'm very, very confused

Nelliemoser Sat 06-Aug-16 14:22:52

Oh Kitty it must be exhausting never knowing what she will be like when you go in. wine

Teetime Sat 06-Aug-16 14:23:29

Oh dear its all up and down for you and not much anyone can say to help. At least she is having a good day today. I suppose it is a case of one day at a time. flowers

grannylyn65 Sat 06-Aug-16 15:56:32

Alzheimers ?

Christinefrance Sat 06-Aug-16 16:20:15

That's so right Teetime, take it one day at a time and enjoy the good days.
Bon courage Kitty

kittylester Sat 06-Aug-16 16:31:02

Yes, grannylyn. There are no good days now Christine and we have all had a 'difficult' relationship with mum. So, as they say. 'it's complicated!'.

Mum has been on end of life care since January and has threatened to die three or four times in the interim.

I'm fine but I do like to keep you all updated!!grin And, the bon mots were priceless!

soop Sat 06-Aug-16 16:42:01

kittylester I've been wondering how you Mum is. Thank you for the update. flowers

ninathenana Sat 06-Aug-16 17:17:58

And I thought our mum lead us a merry dance smile with the will she won't she.
your mum is certainly a character kitty smile I'm glad you have a supportive family winewine I guess you need a couple of those.

merlotgran Sat 06-Aug-16 17:38:28

The day before Mum died I had to have a very painful tooth extraction. I arrived at her nursing home feeling dreadful (shouldn't have driven) so her carer made me a mug of milky coffee with a straw. Mum was totally out of it so I settled in the chair and found some soothing music on the radio.

I'd only had two sips when Mum woke up and said, 'Is that for me?' and promptly drank the lot. We'd been trying to get her to drink for days hmm

Hang on in there, kitty I hate the cliché 'Rollercoaster of emotions' but that's exactly what it is. flowers

grannyqueenie Sat 06-Aug-16 18:42:27

It often seems that those who have khad complicatedrelationships in life then manage to die (or not as the case maybe!) in an equally complicated way. Hang on in there kitty

Luckygirl Sat 06-Aug-16 21:11:19

Gosh - she is still hanging on! You must all be drained. flowers

stillaliveandkicking Sat 06-Aug-16 21:34:24

If truly feel for you. My sisters and I had a, shall we say, also complicated relationship with our mother. She was like a baby bird with no flesh on her whatsoever, no one could believe that she lasted so long. It took a year of us all backwards and forwards, being told she was near the end countless times then low and behold she was sitting up having a cup of tea! even at the end she still wouldn't give up lightly and it took 4 days from her going into a coma to rest. flowers and wine

durhamjen Sat 06-Aug-16 21:35:00

There's one good thing about having a broken wrist; I have an excuse not to drive to visit my mother in law!
She's down to 6 stone now, sleeps on the floor to stop her falling out of bed, and shouts all the time she is awake.
At least she shouts at everyone else, and not just me.

Luckygirl Sat 06-Aug-16 21:40:13

Sorry to hear about the broken wrist - but it sounds like every cloud has a silver lining.

stillaliveandkicking Sat 06-Aug-16 21:44:46

It certainly does grin

durhamjen Sat 06-Aug-16 21:56:21

Yes, that's what I think. The only one I can think of, but I shouldn't be greedy.

kittylester Sun 07-Aug-16 08:59:32

Hope you are back to normal soon. dj.

durhamjen Sun 07-Aug-16 09:19:17

Thanks, kitty.
It's even worse now. I am supposed to be in York today looking after the grandkids so my son and his partner can do a 10k run.
However, my back hurts so much, I cannot stand up or walk properly, so they have gone without me to my favourite city.
I am really fed up now. They start the run at 9.30, then stay down in York tonight. That was my holiday this year!
Commiserations gratefully received, but not too much or I might cry.

Grannyknot Sun 07-Aug-16 09:23:03

My MIL who has advanced Alzheimer's is the same, although she isn't here in the UK, she is in SA bring cared for by one of her daughters plus round-the-clock nursing support.

One week she is practically comatose, laboured breathing, refusing food and we start looking at flights and dates.

Then we get a phone call that she is awake, bright as a button, in her wheelchair and eating chocolate. The doctors tell her daughter they've not seen anything like it. She was diagnosed at age 66, and is now 86, severely affected for at least the past 8 (no speech, having to be fed, incontinent, no mobility).

We are removed from the situation, just grateful that she has superlative care. It must be so difficult for you, Kitty, you have my sympathy.

We've just had another elderly family member diagnosed ...

kittylester Sun 07-Aug-16 10:10:26

Oh dear dj, York has born there a long time so will be around when you are better. No hugs - it's the hugs that get me when I feel fed up. brew

Thank you to everyone for being so kind. I feel as though I don't deserve it as I'm not sad about mum just sad about her situation iyswim. I'll need you all though when she eventually dies!

Jane10 Sun 07-Aug-16 10:16:45

Grannyknot what are you waiting for? Why not just go while you can?

harrigran Sun 07-Aug-16 10:21:18

kittyflowers
dj, sympathy from me too and flowers my holiday this year is a chair in the garden but DH brings me coffee and cake and ice cream too so not too bad.

kittylester Sun 07-Aug-16 10:46:19

I suspect there would be little point GK going now Jane and they are thinking about flying for the funeral.

Sounds good to me Harri

Grannyknot Sun 07-Aug-16 15:24:23

jane10 we do(usually every other year).

But we would go to be there at the end when the call comes, because my SIL has asked us to.

Grannyknot Sun 07-Aug-16 15:27:37

And kitty is right. There is no point whatsoever in us going now. We go because it's a general family visit as well as to see my MIL. And that's all we do, see her.