I went to visit my Mum on Thursday......

kitty oh oh - there could be trouble ahead ...?

Exactly!!

Do you think that's a requisite for someone who works in a carehome - that they think everyone's lovely?
That's what they say about my mother in law, but they didn't know her before.

jg, was she with my mum? Apparently she had been out all night recently which makes a change from her working late!

Sending to you kitty and everyone else on this thread dealing with difficult situations/relatives.....

I called to see my mum today - she's been in her new Very Sheltered home for just over a week now... She was asleep when I got there so I was able to change the bed and do a few chores. When she woke up, she told me that she felt very tired today because she had been into town last night dancing.....?????

Today was a good day ?

Oh dear bags, at least we are past that stage now - though it was entertaining in retrospect.

Everyone loves my mum because she is always so lovely!!

With you in spirit, kitty. I'm with my difficult mum now so that my brother, her usual carer (and therefore, by definition, a saint), can have a holiday. It's hard, especially as she's perfectly polite to everyone else, just
not her own offspring.

And kitty is right. There is no point whatsoever in us going now. We go because it's a general family visit as well as to see my MIL. And that's all we do, see her.

jane10 we do(usually every other year).

But we would go to be there at the end when the call comes, because my SIL has asked us to.

I suspect there would be little point GK going now Jane and they are thinking about flying for the funeral.

Sounds good to me Harri

kitty
dj, sympathy from me too and my holiday this year is a chair in the garden but DH brings me coffee and cake and ice cream too so not too bad.

Grannyknot what are you waiting for? Why not just go while you can?

Oh dear dj, York has born there a long time so will be around when you are better. No hugs - it's the hugs that get me when I feel fed up.

Thank you to everyone for being so kind. I feel as though I don't deserve it as I'm not sad about mum just sad about her situation iyswim. I'll need you all though when she eventually dies!

My MIL who has advanced Alzheimer's is the same, although she isn't here in the UK, she is in SA bring cared for by one of her daughters plus round-the-clock nursing support.

One week she is practically comatose, laboured breathing, refusing food and we start looking at flights and dates.

Then we get a phone call that she is awake, bright as a button, in her wheelchair and eating chocolate. The doctors tell her daughter they've not seen anything like it. She was diagnosed at age 66, and is now 86, severely affected for at least the past 8 (no speech, having to be fed, incontinent, no mobility).

We are removed from the situation, just grateful that she has superlative care. It must be so difficult for you, Kitty, you have my sympathy.

We've just had another elderly family member diagnosed ...

Thanks, kitty.
It's even worse now. I am supposed to be in York today looking after the grandkids so my son and his partner can do a 10k run.
However, my back hurts so much, I cannot stand up or walk properly, so they have gone without me to my favourite city.
I am really fed up now. They start the run at 9.30, then stay down in York tonight. That was my holiday this year!
Commiserations gratefully received, but not too much or I might cry.

Hope you are back to normal soon. dj.

Yes, that's what I think. The only one I can think of, but I shouldn't be greedy.

It certainly does

Sorry to hear about the broken wrist - but it sounds like every cloud has a silver lining.

There's one good thing about having a broken wrist; I have an excuse not to drive to visit my mother in law!
She's down to 6 stone now, sleeps on the floor to stop her falling out of bed, and shouts all the time she is awake.
At least she shouts at everyone else, and not just me.

If truly feel for you. My sisters and I had a, shall we say, also complicated relationship with our mother. She was like a baby bird with no flesh on her whatsoever, no one could believe that she lasted so long. It took a year of us all backwards and forwards, being told she was near the end countless times then low and behold she was sitting up having a cup of tea! even at the end she still wouldn't give up lightly and it took 4 days from her going into a coma to rest. and

Gosh - she is still hanging on! You must all be drained.

It often seems that those who have khad complicatedrelationships in life then manage to die (or not as the case maybe!) in an equally complicated way. Hang on in there kitty

The day before Mum died I had to have a very painful tooth extraction. I arrived at her nursing home feeling dreadful (shouldn't have driven) so her carer made me a mug of milky coffee with a straw. Mum was totally out of it so I settled in the chair and found some soothing music on the radio.

I'd only had two sips when Mum woke up and said, 'Is that for me?' and promptly drank the lot. We'd been trying to get her to drink for days

Hang on in there, kitty I hate the cliché 'Rollercoaster of emotions' but that's exactly what it is.

And I thought our mum lead us a merry dance with the will she won't she.
your mum is certainly a character kitty I'm glad you have a supportive family I guess you need a couple of those.