Custody

Where is your DGS living atm? Who has custody atm? Does she have access to a social worker?

I would have thought that legal advice was the way to go or Citizen's Advice Bureau.

NewgranGill Where there are child protection issues which suggest that a child might not be safe if they return home, the courts have a duty to consider close relatives as a first option for providing a home for a child.

The relatives who would be considered would have to go through a full assessment of their suitability but family placements of children are considered to generally be more successful. There my also be financial issues in this for the carer.

She has social worker and health visitor and umpteen other 'professionals" crawling out of the woodwork. We have been told that I am too old to provide a home for GS (I'm only 67 but there are other considerations in my home because DS is disabled and lives with me). Her biggest worry is that should everything go well her partner will run away with GS and that will be just as bad if not worse than her child being taken away by sw.

For a mother not to have custody of her own child means there are serious issues and I think, unless qualified, it would be unwise to offer advice on the subject.

Citizen's Advice Bureau will give her advice, and the names of some lawyers with experience in this matter.

Remember, lawyers will give the first half-an-hour of basic advice free. She should get all her facts and paperwork together so that she can describe what is happening staright away without being distracted into long details.

You say "I know if she loses DGS to either authorities or partner I will lose her as well as DGS" It sounds as though the situation needs sensitive handling by experts, but there seem to be a lot of those on the case already.

wishing you wisdom and kindness. What a difficult situation

NewgranGill It sounds a dreadful situation every grans nightmare. (((hugs)))

Because it's so hard to get legal aid for this kind of issue an awful lot of family law solicitors give an hour's legal advice free. My advice would be to go to see one and talk it over with them. Without knowing the details it would be impossible to guess how much it would cost. It's very sad that you are deemed too old to have custody of DGS as he would probably be well looked after and loved by you. I hope and pray that your daughter is getting all the help from social workers, doctors etc. that she needs. If she is afraid that DGS's father would run away with him she needs to ensure the authorities are aware of this so that they can take it into consideration when making decisions about the future. Hugs and prayers for you all.

Family mediation is usually free.might be useful to talk some of it through in managed sessions...........

Does your home insurance have a free legal advice line?

I have friends whose gad children went into are but were still allowed some contact and are now re united.

Good luck

There are organisations who offer help www.frg.org.uk/about-us for information on rights and advice
Action for children offer similar support.
Good luck!

When our grandchildren were taken into care on a child protection order we found loads of advice from the family rights group website. They have discussion and advice boards for both parents and grandparents, advice and information sheets and a helpline number to expert advisors. A solicitor who specialises in family law is who daughter will need to contact. It is indeed a very stressful situation to be in, good luck for a happy outcome.

I know from personal experience what its like, my son has been in this situation and only now can he see his son regularly (he is now a teenager). It is incredibly tough on the estranged parent/grandparents and also on the child. The law in England is different to Scotland so depending where you live makes a difference. Take all the free advice you can get - there is lots online, do your homework and be fully aware of all the ramifications. I can only wish you the very best, don't ever give up. Good luck.

We have a guardianship for our grandaughter we went to a solicitor who dealt with family situations. We did not get legal aid because we have our own property but if your daughter is in a position to get LA then she should find a family solicitor. Or get advice from citizen advice

Thank you all for your kind posts, really I can't see what is likely to happen, she is in a constant state of anxiety and is even frightened now that if anyone hears GS crying (usually because of frustration as he is trying to walk) she will be 'reported'o all these people. It's quite a job trying to keep her calm but I'm still hanging on. [smile}

NewgranGill - You have all our sympathies. We have undergone a similar situation recently which has just been resolved, so know exactly how stressful and upsetting it is for all concerned.As you haven't given all the details, it's hard to advise, but legal fees, though expensive, are worth it if it means your daughter gets custody. Hopefully she will get legal aid. Wishing you the best of luck and stay strong

Sorry, meant to add that mediation only works if both parties attend. In our situation, our son attended but his ex-partner refused, so it was a waste of time and money for him. Make sure you get a solicitor who deals specifically with family law.

What a worry for you NewgranGill. I wonder if your DGS is now also on the child protection register? If he is living with his mum at home she will need to demonstrate to all the agencies involved that she is able to provide a good level of care and protection to her son, show that all his needs are being met and that the previous concerns that lead to the CPO are no longer present. Your DD is lucky to have a caring supportive family. If Social Services mention going for custody then your DD needs to take legal advice. As the mother she has legal custody of her son unless the courts decide to give this to Social Services. Before this happens a Guardian will be appointed and DD will again have an opportunity to show that she is able to care for her son. If she is worried about DGSs contact with his father she can ask that he has supervised contact with his son and apply for an Injunction to stop him coming near her home. I wish you all well and hope that DGS remains safe and well cared for.

NEWGRANGIL....I cant add anything to the good advice and suggestions that have already been mentioned. If your DD is as anxious as you say try to introduce her to calming methods such as meditation or yoga. Im sure there are articles about these ways of dealing with stress on the internet. I hope your family situation can be resolved soon.