Grown up grandchildren

I can't answer this yet ( DGS aged 11) but I think this would be normal behaviour.
My other DGC ( much younger) are still at the delighted to see us stage, and get over excited at times, very sweet.The 11 Year old, still likes being with us, but not quite as it was a couple of years ago.all natural, if we think back to our own DGP ( I still wanted to see them, but had other more exciting things going on, growing up stuff, friends and boyfriends.)

Most definitely Luckylegs. It is something which is causing me to feel really down . I know they love me and have always encouraged them to fly free , think I find it difficult because I had to share parenting of them with my son in law for the last seven years , and when their mother was well she brought them to my house every day , so have been so involved with them since they were born

My GC are still young but from talking friends it would seem this is a common fact.
Sad but not surprising in my opinion. Seeing friends and exercising their independence takes precedence over GP's for teens.

I'm going against the grain here. My children all maintained independent relationships with my husband's parents throughout their teen years and now into their 20s and 30s. My parents in law have always had at least one holiday a year with us and the children were regularly included in visits to their grandparents - usually for a meal. Then as the children hit the mid teen years my parents in law would take them out for lunch and a 'catch up' individually - which they still do. Birthdays and Christmas are usually spent with the extended family so we often have the opportunity to get together and maintain what I think of as 'informed contact': basic information about what's going on in each other's lives is known and shared.

I think it's quite usual for teens to withdraw a little from family life in general, but keep in touch and I'm sure they'll come through this period eventually.

It is DSO good to hear that some postetrs

That shouldn't have been posted. Apologies all?

Same as roses - ours is nine and we are already fading into the background somewhat with him. All perfectly normal. There are times when he has to stay over for a day or so and it is obvious that he would rather be with his friends than be with us, but we still have fun. When he gets even older I have no doubt that most of the time he won't give us a second thought. Out of sight, out of mind. My son has two stepsons who are now 18 and 21. They are lovely chaps, but lead such busy lives (and have done for a few years now) that they are rarely able to be around when we go to visit unless it is a family occasion. When they are around, it is a pleasure to be in their company. I don't think they see their grandparents that much either. It's a fact of life; I saw this happen with my mum and dad's grandchildren (they didn't really know mine) - they dwindle from being a constant presence almost to being just a photo on the mantelpiece. At the moment we are grateful for whatever we can get .

My granddaughters were very much part of our lives until they were 10 and 6 when they moved 2 hours away and we didn't see so much of them. They were still very happy to see us when we visited but as they've grown older they've obviously been more interested in their own friends and activities - the younger one more so. Now at 18 and 14 the eldest one is at an age to drive and having a boyfriend not far from here often comes up and always comes to see us. She enjoys going shopping which I've been happy to oblige and is in fact coming up this week for a few days. The younger one came up last week with her dad for a day and we did spend some time together without her constantly on her phone which was nice - sometimes it's best to just have one to one contact to talk to them on their level. My own sons were very close to my parents as they just lived round the corner and my eldest one often took them out for day trips once he was married - they took them on holiday to Somerset too. My younger son thought the world of his granddad and I believe he held off emigrating until they had passed away. Neither of them were that close with my in-laws as they didn't see so much of them. I think like your children once they hit their teens they move on but as they get older they actually come back to you as adults.

mine were part of my life until they were old enough to look after themselves while their mother worked...(i had them before and after school and through the holidays even when they were poorly) now they are adults I rarely see them ....?

If my 17 yr old dgd passes her driving test in a couple of weeks I know she'll be visiting a lot more at first ?

DDs children are now 23 and 25 - I too looked after them when they were at school in holidays and they often came to stay with us when we spent our summers in France - one parent brought them and the other came a few weeks later to collect them. There was a very short time when we saw a bit less of them but now I am in contact with them weekly. When we get off the ferry I send out a text message to several of the family including them. Last trip I had an immediate reply from DGD - whoo hoo - will be over in the morning to take you out for Breakfast in Marks!!! And she was there and then had arranged to take me to see her brother and they took me out to lunch. We saw them a lot while we were in UK with both of them inviting us to their homes to have a meal they cooked for us. I think I am just so so lucky - DD is visiting me in a few weeks and DGD decided she would come too as it was a long time since the three of us had any girl time together! Luckily OH doesn't mind all this.
DS and his family are in USA so when they visit or we visit them we have concentrated time together but when we do the visiting we are fitting in round the band practise, karate etcetc.!!
I keep in touch with them all via Facebook or Viber - works well for us.

Seems a double dose of empty nest syndrome

22 year old DGD coming over less and less, has open invitation for meal as well as specific dates when her DF and siblings are here. Inevitable I guess. Still close when we are together.
16 year old almost silent and doesn't stay long, sleeps a lot; exam shock I think, an unpleasant reality check. From 5 to a year or so ago I had her almost every weekend and school holidays, took her away, shared so much. I admit to have sometimes felt put upon as my interests went on a back burner. Miss her so much now, or am I missing a little girl who no longer exists? I'm still there for the more complicated adolescent she now is, of course.
Nothing stays the same, does it? I'm lucky to have two 'bonus' unexpected small GC and only wish I had more energy for them. Seize the day!

My grandparents were an integral part of our lives as children so I never stopped seeing them, even once I had joined the army, I often came back and spent my leave with them instead of going home.

Our 4 grandchildren (9,6,4,2) all see us regularly and seem happy to do so, even keeping a running check on who is getting a sleepover and who has the next turn. But we have noticed now that if we're all together after a while the 9 year old ( only girl) asks for an iPad and goes off to lay on our bed with a drink and a snack ! The little ones aren't allowed in so its a big treat.

When we're one to one she stays with us and chats and we do things suited to her age and interests so I suppose when we have to do things all 4 can do it's less interesting for her.

I do think it's normal for visits to drop off between about 14-18 and then hopefully pick up again under their own steam.

We've just got back from a couple of hours and a catch up with our eldest Grandson and his wife he is 26 and always pops in to see us or text us to see if all is well. He often messages us to come over for lunch at a weekend.
We have 8 grandchildren all over 18 apart from the 2 youngest as others have said contact dropped off in later teens but they came back in their 20's in fact 10 of us are going on a caravan holiday in July they want to recreate the holidays we had when they were small and share with their partners most of whom have never caravanned before they are so excited that we are all going together.
Don't wait for them to contact you just a short message or phone call with an invite to lunch or just a 'can we pop in for a cuppa' will work I'm sure, its a shame to lose that bond and as we are the retired/older person maybe up to us to make more of the effort when they have such busy lives..

I have always realised that as our teenage children stopped being with us in the evenings and either had friends round or went to them, it would repeat with the GC.
One would hope that they would come back.....
My parents died when our daughters were younger, but I treasure a pic of our son (19) totally engrossed talking to my Dad, far too engrossed to stop and look at the camera! He had a close school friend with him as it was a family party, but clearly had chosen to sit n talk to Grandad, who died unexpectedly 5 months later!

Interesting what you say Tanith about them wanting to create with partners what they did as children - mine are the same - wanting to show them the supermarkets and take a gabarre trip along the Dordogne - shows what they really enjoyed. The last time they came together with DGS girlfriend I ended up in hospital for two nights - the girls knew what was in my fridge and just took it in turns to cook meals for them all. But I gathered DH also took them out to a few nice places too.!

I love our relationship with our grown up grandchildren. The eldest one is nearly twenty and at uni. He came up to see us for the early May bank holiday because it was his cousin's eighteenth and as he lives next door with his fifteen year old brother we spent quite a bit of time with them all.

Last weekend we had another houseful with ages ranging from 11 to 18. New girlfriend tagged along as well - shame because I really liked the old one but that's life.

They know they are always welcome. We don't breathe down their necks and there's plenty of room for them, their girl/boyfriends AND their cars!!

No neighbours to complain about the loud music either

Our granddaughter is 16 and we still see a lot of her. Obviously we don't see as much of her as we did when she was smaller as she now goes out with friends at weekends, whereas her mum and dad used to bring her here most weekends and we would babysit a lot and she would stay over. I am happy to say that she is always pleased to see us and always flings her arms around us when we see her

We must be very lucky as I see my 5 grandchildren aged between 25 and 15 quite regularly. 3 live 1 hour away in the countryside and as we live quite near the city centre they stay over when having nights out. It's lovely sitting around having breakfast with them and their friends next morning. We also get invited there for the weekend at least once a month. The other 2 GC live 4 hours away so we don't meet up as often. However, 1 GD, 18, loves visiting us and comes every year on her own for a week and they have both done this since they were very young. The 25 year old is now busy with work as he works weekends but comes on special occasions. We visit them about 3 times a year and they all come here 2 or 3 times a year for weekends. The whole family met up recently for our 50th wedding anniversary - I am blessed.

Hello I've just joined and was navigating the site when I saw this link Grownup GC -
I've been nursing a heartache for awhile as I'm no longer needed to look after GDs aged 12 and 16yrs. I didn't see the signs - so wasn't prepared when I got the msg "Girls won't be coming next school break". All the links I've read have helped me (Elrel, tanith, merlotgran) I needed this reality check - where has my head been?
I'm determined to enjoy my retirement; I've been a cricket widow for over 25yrs so I'm used to organising my own activity on weekends. Ive just ret. from my first solo holiday abroad (HB doesn't like flying) my only regret is Ive waited so long before plucking the courage to do it. Will def. use the same travel company for next hol. Meanwhile I'm hoping to widen my social life hence my joining Gransnet! I'm local to Coventry, I drive and regularly travel by train/coach so I'm looking forward to meeting ladies. I think I've said enough for now!

Welcome! I know the heartache you mention, inevitable although it so often is.
I'm in Brum, we've had a couple of small meet ups so hope you'll be able to join us next time.

Yes, it's common for teenagers to drop out of visits to grandparents. Some of ours are now in their early 20's and keep better contact now than they have since they were about 16 or 17. I know not everyone likes Facebook and I understand why. It is though an easy way to keep in touch with grandchildren as they grow up and find their own lives.

I had one of my grandaughters every weekend from a baby to when she was about fourteen, i had a chalet in kent at the time and thats where we spent most weekends and during the school holidays, then she started going with her friends on trips and whatever else they do at that age lol. But she always comes and sees me, she is now in her late 20s and i have also looked after her little girl when she was a baby and mum went to work, little girl is now eight and always brings me flowers when she comes with her mum to see me.