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Hard of hearing OH

(75 Posts)
Newquay Sat 26-Mar-16 13:13:25

Anyone else living with a dear OH who is hard of hearing? I know it's not his fault (apart from listening to too loud rock music as an art student in the 60s) but ooh it is so frustrating. I have now got him to make sure he puts his aids in first thing. I make sure I'm facing him-well, most of the time, I'm no saint. A simple request like "fancy a cuppa?" Lasts several minutes and ends up with him saying "there's no need to shout"!
I do realise that those without OH would, of course, be glad of this problem. . . .

mollie Sat 26-Mar-16 13:17:44

Sad to say, I am the deaf one and OH has to ask if I've 'got my ears in' when we've had the 'what? eh? Pardon? Say that again' exchange... But he does insist on trying to carry out a conversation with us in different rooms and with a hallway between us - even with good hearing I'd not manage that I think!

cornergran Sat 26-Mar-16 13:36:52

Can empathise Newquay. That could be our home. We now have a clear understanding I will be told if the hearing aid isn't being worn, - because I really don't spend hours staring at his ears - it works for us and really helps to minimise frustration on both sides.

Bellanonna Sat 26-Mar-16 13:36:52

Newquay - well at least he wears them. Mine decided he didn't like them, and that was it. I find if I just get his attention first then he hears what I'm saying but if I make a comment or ask him something, without calling him loudly first, then it falls on deaf - literally - ears. I find it quite frustrating sometimes especially if I've made some unimportant, throwaway comment and then I'm asked to repeat it. I keep saying if the aids don't work (he says they don't) then take them back. However I suspect it's more a case of his just not getting on with them and being too impatient to persevere. But it us soooo frustrating, isn't it?

Synonymous Sat 26-Mar-16 13:41:12

DH is getting to be hard of hearing and at long last is acknowledging that is so. It took a friend who has hearing aids to help him in that and also to understand that it is not a 'fault' thing. At least I am no longer being told to speak up and not mumble! hmm
He now knows he doesn't hear things like the oven bleeping which is in the high ranges so I have just told him that I, too, am in the high ranges! grin
I am hoping that he will agree to go for a hearing test before it gets too bad. The nurse at his annual check just clapped her hands and when he said he could hear it said that was all right then! shockconfused

baubles Sat 26-Mar-16 14:01:08

I've got one of those. It's frustrating because a couple of years ago he did acknowledge that he was hard of hearing and shelled out ££££ for aids which languish in a drawer 90% of the time. He wears them when he knows he'll be in a crowd of people and will struggle to keep up with the conversation but doesn't find them comfortable enough for everyday use.

I expect things will change when it becomes more of a problem for him.

Bellanonna Sat 26-Mar-16 16:10:18

It doesn't appear to be a problem for mine, just a problem for me sad

Synonymous Sat 26-Mar-16 17:15:56

I am not going to push it for now and just hope that DH will get the help he needs when needed. I just hope that works out alright and I won't feel like committing some dreadful crime before he gets to that point. hmm

Deedaa Sat 26-Mar-16 21:37:21

My hearing is getting quite bad but I've been for hearing tests a couple of times and been told that it isn't bad enough for hearing aids to be any help yet.

numberplease Sun 27-Mar-16 00:24:48

So I`m not the only one who gets "Eh?" or "What?" nearly every time I speak to OH. He has hearing aids for each ear, supplied by the hospital, who told him at the outse that if he had any trouble to go back, but although he`ll happily trudge all around the hospital to get new batteries, he won`t see them about maybe adjusting them. But sometimes I think he has "selective hearing", because when he was in hospital he didn`t wear them at all, yet heard every word the nurses and doctors said!

PRINTMISS Sun 27-Mar-16 07:51:33

My other half is DEFINITELY not deaf, I just speak very quietly, and the t.v. IS NOT ON LOUD, I just have my hearing aid turned up! He did admit yesterday to our daughter that "he does not hear as well as he used to".

Maggiemaybe Sun 27-Mar-16 08:55:10

Ah, I see that others mumble,.like me, and I'm sure they also agree that TV sound engineers/actors just don't know what they're doing these days, because the sound quality is so bad subtitles have to be deployed? No, my DH definitely does not have hearing problems.

Mind you, at least his ears don't hurt when he goes to his regular Northern Soul sessions where the sound is cranked up to such a level that on my rare visits I have to stuff tissue in my ears (an attractive look, I find).

And the two can't possibly be connected, of course grin

grannylyn65 Sun 27-Mar-16 09:23:07

Maggie ?

Synonymous Sun 27-Mar-16 09:37:19

The sound on our TV goes up and down like a fiddler's elbow especially when DC visit. Their eyebrows do too when DH says it needs to be turned up! Our DGC were less than subtle as they started putting their fingers in their ears until DDIL told them it was rude. grin

Ageing doesn't come on it's own and is not for the faint hearted! hmm

Newquay Sun 27-Mar-16 12:20:18

Well we're obviously not alone on this one! It's funny and frustrating at the same time. The number of folks I know of our age who won't admit they're hard of hearing and yet expect everyone else to shout-eh?
And the number of folks who go to have hearing tested to be told it's ok! Drives me nuts! Unless folks have a proper test at the hospital they'll never know. One of our lovely sons in law is hard of hearing and in denial-finally went to Docs-who, like nurse above, dismissed it! Grrr. So, on holiday, SIL held OH's hearing aid close and was AMAZED at the difference it made.?

Anya Sun 27-Mar-16 13:08:08

I don't 'alf kill the Art of Conversation sad tbuconfused

Anya Sun 27-Mar-16 13:09:28

It don't 'alf kill the Art of Conversation tbusad

Anya Sun 27-Mar-16 13:11:39

My SiL mumbles and my daughter insists it's my ears. But if that's the case how come I can hear everyone else clearly? tbuhmm

morethan2 Sun 27-Mar-16 13:33:21

My husband has been hard of hearing for years. He was told nothing could be done because he had a high frequency hearing loss. Hearing aids have come a long way and a few years ago he was fitted with two hearing aids. He says it changed his life. But along with other wonderful things he could hear the thing he complained about was the sound of me turning the pages of a news paper. He'd never heared it before. He turns them off when our grandchildren are here. He says every cloud has a silver lining. tbugrin

KatyK Sun 27-Mar-16 14:06:51

My DH was the same morethan He used to drive me mad. I became his translator when we were in company as he couldn't hear. He eventually got hearing aids and life has been a lot easier for both of us!

Newquay Sun 27-Mar-16 22:42:32

There's a lady at my keep fit class in complete denial; one day, after repeating myself several times at normal level, asked if she'd ever had her hearing checked. Of course not! Eventually she turned up with AIDS in both ears. I then met her in (quiet at the time) supermarket-eh? What? I laughed and said aren't your aids working then? "I only put them in when I need them" was the answer!! Honestly!

Newquay Sun 27-Mar-16 22:45:18

Don't get me started. And. . . . . At my French class an elderly chap turns up, not only is his French not very good, but he can't hear either! So, in French, I asked him where his hearing aids are to-eventually after translating AND shouting, be told he kept them at home!

PRINTMISS Mon 28-Mar-16 09:54:41

I just wonder what it is about wearing a hearing aid that is so anti for some people? People who need glasses - wear them - they have to to see what they are doing, where they are going, no one thinks any the less of them, people do not think any the less (I hope) of me because I say, if I can't hear, "Oh!, hang on a minute I'll turn the volume up" It causes a laugh, but so what, it makes life easier. My hair dresser once asked if I would like my hair styled so that it covered the aid - why would I? I wear a hearing aid, in the same way that I might need a walking stick, which I would not be able to hide. There seems to be a stigma, not sure why - there is of course the well know quote "I am deaf - not daft". One of the most intelligent men I have met was totally deaf and mute. He was brilliant company.

NotTooOld Mon 28-Mar-16 10:43:49

Well said, PRINTMISS. I don't need a hearing aid (yet) but I wouldn't be embarrassed to wear one if it was necessary.

Synonymous Mon 28-Mar-16 11:09:19

PRINTMISS I think you are right that in some people's eyes there is a stigma but perhaps it is more a pride issue. How sticks and glasses are acceptable and hearing aids are not just beats me. confused Perhaps it is a bit of a man thing as in our circle it does seem to be the men in denial and attempting to keep 'it' at bay. hmm