Hard of hearing OH

Well bluey I now know what to say to the folks who say "oh I only put my aids in when I know I'm meeting people, I don't bother st home".
Enjoyed a lovely lunch yesterday and spoke to a lady in my choir. She said she had hearing aids-they obviously weren't in-she said the same, she doesn't wear them at home as she's now on her own.
Will,pass on that they need to wear them so that ears adjust.

It is so good to see so much humour on this subject, we have got to laugh otherwise we deafies and frustrated companions could go balmy. i am alone now and have no one else to blame, but get a smile from misquotes on subtitles.

I am having real problems with this at the mo. OH suffers from what he calls 'cocktail party deafness', ie when there is an ambient sound like a TV or music, he can't hear a word I say. I end up asking things three or four times before they register. What makes matters worse is that I have a brace fitted at present to try to correct my bite and, apart from resembling Jaws's girlfriend, I have a significant lisp when pronouncing f's and s's. I guess we would make good sitcom fodder as, to an outsider, our attempts at conversing must look ridiculously funny but it is all very frustrating for us!

My OH has been totally deaf in one ear for years. If we are out and I'm on the wrong side I have to shout. Very embarrassing if you are commenting on someone's demeaner. and don't get me started on blaring tv.

I like all your suggestions eGJ the man I knew who was a deaf mute was really brilliant at communication - he once 'told' us his car was making a strange noise, he could obviously tell by the vibrations, (mu husband fixed it for him)and on a coach trip when we sat next to each other we had a very long written discussion concerning karate, about which I knew absolutely nothing, but learned a lot!

HOW TO MAKE COMMUNICATION WORK
Here are some top tips to share with others, particularly family members who are not always so ready to acknowledge the problems! Given me by a profoundly deak person who does Deaf Awareness courses.

Hope they help!!

1. Make sure you have the Deaf person’s attention and they are looking at you.

2. Ensure the background noise is minimised.

3. Look directly; keep your head fairly still, rather than turn away from the person.

4. Ensure there is sufficient lighting.

5. Ensure your mouth and face are not hidden.

6. Normal rhythm of speech, pause or slow down, SLIGHTLY!!

7. Shouting is NOT acceptable.

8. Use facial expressions, body language, or gestures to improve communication.

9. Write down KEY WORDS &/or re-phrase a sentence.

10. Give the SUBJECT of the conversation, first.

11. Allow time and patience.

12. ASK rather than ASSUME, about the best way to communicate.

In order to alleviate the stress of mishearing we now write down the funniest conversations.

I refuse to have to TV up louder and put on subtitles. And then, when I want to to watch a French film he has no excuse for comparing about subtitles spoiling it!

OH often sits with the GC as he can't hear them squabble, or ask him 'Why' a dozen times. I imagine in years to come I will also suffer hearing loss.It's the least of our worries.

phizz

As an addition to this thread, yesterday we had two really lovely young (everyone is young to me!) men from the fire brigade - we had asked them to visit - and they fitted, free of charge two additional fire alarms which are extremely loud. They also advised that perhaps it would be a good idea to have a mobile phone by the side of the bed, which is something we shall now do. Incidentally, it is also possible to buy pillows which will react like fire alarms, in as much as they will shake, rather than make a noise. I am looking into that. On top of that it was all really rather exciting, they came in a Fire Engine, - now we live in a very small site of mobile homes at the end of the cul-de-sac, so you can guess the stir it created, and the curtains that twitched. No one has asked me about it YET!

my OH has worn two hearing aids for years (damaged ear drums at the rifle range during his Service career). The most important thing is to keep ears and aids clean and free from wax build-up. I used to have perfect hearing until I had a fungal infection in left ear which resulted in total loss of hearing. I was told that the best thing to clean hearing aids with is a small feather! Any residue wax sticks to the small feather and it is a much easier way to clean the aids. Of course you must not stick the feather in your ears!! A few drops of warmed olive oil at night usually gets rid of wax build up and cotton wool in the ears prevents mucky pillows.

OH also has Alzheimers so sometimes it is difficult, when he is asked something, to get a response. The answers are hilarious because a) he didn't hear the question properly, b) he didn't understand the question anyway or c) just doesn't want to be involved .

I have often thought about hearing aid glasses. Am told they are expensive but has anyone actually used them? Are they very heavy and leave big ridges across the nose?

Keep smiling folks and look on the good side of life - if you can find your glasses, that is.

My hard of hearing husband was happily reading his newspaper when I happened to say..'sheesh, will you look at the size of those knockers'.
And would you believe his little head shot up so fast it almost fell off.

It made oi larf.

I sometimes resort to earplugs because DH has the TV volume so loud. If I put them fully into in my ears, then pull them out slowly until I have the right volume, it works (as long as I don't have to talk, as I can't judge the volume of my voice when I'm wearing them!), but I do find them very uncomfortable after a couple of hours.
Other times DH puts the subtitles on, but sometimes he complains that they are changing too quickly for him to read them!

I gradually became deaf. Hearing aids enabled me to work but ... Over time life became more difficult. I attended lip reading classes which helped, but people speak so quickly and one word merges into another, however i still cope with most situations,guessing a lot. Yes we are deaf and not daft.
I certainly do sympathise with anyone who has to live with a deafened person as much patience is required. At one time i helped voluntarily calling on folk who had hearing aids and were having problems, most of these people only put their aids in for going out or special, but would not keep them in for more than an hour or so. We need to persevere as the ear has to get used to recognise sounds and it cannot do that if only heard occasionally.
Now I find that one gets to know one's friends, some will repeat, others say "oh! It doesn't matter". Two of my younger relatives do not converse with me, they seem embarassed if I have queried something.

But one dear friend's husband complains about his aid not working but will not go back to get it put right.
Sorry all you ladies this won't help with your problems, some folk would rather miss out on conversations and good music being too proud and never think of all the young people who are deaf and who wear aids.

Nanevon,
I have tinnitus also, and find that hearing aids help quite a bit dealing with it. My husband tends not to hear half of what I say, but I often wonder if it's because he doesn't want to? I think, as we age, it's pefectly normal not to hear quite so well.

I don't know if it's just me, but everyone seems to mumble on televison these days. My son, when visiting says the volume is turned up too high. We both agree it isn't!

I so sympathise with you Sallyswin. I hate it when my DH starts to say something that we've already talked about-he comes across as stupid which he most certainly is not. Friends understand but, of course, forget. I always say to DH he has to look at folks more and would love to learn lip reading with him but it took me so long to get him (a) to get his hearing aids and then(b) put the things in, it ain't going to happen.
He is getting used to telling folks he is hard of hearing esp on the phone and will they speak up, slowly and clearly. It sometimes works. . . .
Things could be so much worse though couldn't they?

I have tinnitus and recently went to Spec savers for a hearing test. The young lady was very pleasant and not at all condescending in view of my age (70). She explained all the aids and I am very happy with the ones I chose. They have made all the difference to my life.

Yes my DH has hearing problems and wears NHS hearing aids after having two sets of private ones at a huge cost. He says the NHS ones are as good as the private ones which for him is not good enough. It has changed our lives as he doesn't like the radio on, won't listen to music in the car and he's so frustrated at not being able to join in conversations etc and says people don't talk to him any more as its too much effort for them. I'm frustrated at having to repeat most things then being told not to shout. We watch TV in different rooms as the sound is too high for me on his tv but we love the Scandinavian films with subtitles as we watch those together! He won't watch anything else with the subtitles on! Hey ho!
Sometimes he says that I don't talk to him. He's right. Sometimes it's too much effort and anyway it's not funny when you have to repeat all the time. And he wears his aids from the time he gets up to going to bed. Life has changed and it's very sad for both of us. It's makes him irritable and me too. You can only laugh at things up to a point!

DH too has issues with his ears but I won't say anything as he looks on here and he might hear me (which would be a first)

Our daughter insisted that we went to a free hearing test at Boots when she was visiting as she was fed up with us not hearing the telephone, turning the TV up loud etc. You have to make an appointment but the man was very pleasant and explained what he was doing etc. We had to press a button whenever we heard a sound and the notes were in different ranges. It's just a primary screen I think but though he found some hearing loss for both of us there was no need for hearing aids and he recommended coming back every year for a free check up. I think I'm right in saying if they find a problem you have to have a more thorough test but it doesn't have to be at Boots and you don't have to get aids from there. We thought it was a good service - and now when daughter gets cross with us we can say - We've been tested and don't need hearing aids!

Cybernan12, the hearing tests at Specsavers, Boots etc are free I think. I am on my 2nd pair from SpecSavers, and they are fine, couldn't be without them. I don't understand how people find them uncomfortable if they are fitted properly, and these days the designs are so clever that the aids are barely visible, especially for women whose hair covers the top of their ears. I bought Bluetooth aids last time, so I can stream sound from my phone and iPad direct to my aids, which is just fantastic, so clear! Why would someone who has hearing aids choose not to wear them? I feel cut off from the world if I haven't got mine in.

DH went for a private hearing test and had a free trial. Aids were going to be £1,500 each. He then found out he could have free NHS ones and couldn't see any difference, and the batteries are free too. However they are reserved for going out, consequently I 'mumble' and the tv blasts the roof off. If I make an off the cuff remark it completely loses it point when it has to be repeated. However when he forgets to wear the hearing aids when we are out or have guests it can lead to some odd conversations when he mishears or starts what he thinks is a new subject but is actually the one that has just finished. The person doing the hearing test said the word 'mumble' was very common!

I am the deaf one in this house apparently. I do have hearing aids and can hear the traffic at the end of the road far better than the mumbling actors on tv.

I also have to pay attention to DH telling me important information from two rooms away as another poster complained. Is it a man thing? I could be standing with a saucepan of boiling veg in my hand but that 's not important and I am a pain because I don't hear what I am supposed to. Never mind that I am never listened to by a person with acute hearing. Sorry about this rant but I do get cross at times.

I am indeed. It's driving me slightly nuts. The volume on the tv has to be incredibly loud and he doesn't hear what I'm saying. He doesn't want to do anything about it because he dislikes the way hearing aids look!

I am indeed. It's driving me slightly nuts. The volume on the tv has to be incredibly loud and he doesn't hear what I'm saying. He doesn't want to do anything about it because he dislikes the way hearing aids look!

We were starting to accuse each other of not listening so we both went to Boots for a hearing test. I am reasonably OK but my partner needed hearing aids. We were impressed he wasn't automatically steered towards the most expensive ones and as there was a half price offer he went ahead. Everything was set up by computer so he didn't have to do any adjustments himself and aftercare has been very good. Peace and harmony is restored (although he still doesn't listen)