He's gone and i'm lost

I am so very sorry, Sheridan. It's still very early days yet, really. Wouldn't it be great if we were fitted with an 'emotions off' switch that we could use at times like this, but what you are doing is perfectly normal. I wish I could give you a hug. x

I feel for you, Sheridan. It's been over a year since my DH died but it's very hard to come to terms with the anger and the guilt (because I feel I should have known sooner how ill he actually was).

Give it time, grief affects everyone differently and you will eventually get used to your situation and perhaps find a bit of sparkle somewhere in the future. I know it's hard.

Oh Sheridan I am so sorry and can only offer my deepest sympathy for your loss. It is early days so don't beat yourself up, the memories of the good times will return eventually, but not yet.

Ana, I had no idea that you were bereaved so recently and send my sincere condolences to you too

It does take a lot of time to come to terms with this huge loss.
My DH died at the end of March. There are good days and bad days.
As Ana says so wisely, give it time.

I also had no idea that it was so recently that Ana had been on her own and I send my sincere condolences .As I do to you Sheridan it is early days for you and I hope your grief eases. Those of us who have not experienced it have no idea how you feel, we can only send our sympathy.

Sheridan so sorry for your loss.

sheridan it will get better as time goes on, it's raw at the moment.I don't know if you are new to the forum, but welcome if you are, and you will find support on here.

Sheridan and Ana and others

It must be so difficult when you have spent years of your life with someone.

Just can't imagine - so I join the others in saying how sorry I am and to hang in there and try to survive somehow (((hugs)))

I have not had to go through this yet Sheridan but I think "some months" is no time at all If you were caring for him before he died you will hardly have had time to recover from that, never mind start coming to terms with your loss. If you are getting through a day at a time you are doing well.

- I am so sorry that life is so hard for you just now. Condolences to you and others who have been widowed. I hope that you will find some comfort from those on here who know how it feels.

Yes Sheridan hang on in there. I'm not going to say it gets better but you do learn to live with it, and that means that you will cope most of the time because you have to, but there will always be bad days too. After all I think life has so many good things to offer and you owe it to yourself and your late partner to make the best of them. I am 8 years down the line and I miss the companionship of the person who knew me best and I am still lonely.
All the best.

Try to be kind to yourself Sheridan, from what you say it sounds like you had many years with your husband. Allow yourself time to grieve. Sadly in our society there is such an expectation that people can just bounce back after losing someone they love and it's just not how it is for many folk, especially after sharing so much over the years. It can be hard to express your sadness to family, who may not fully understand the depth of what you have lost. Sometimes talking to someone outside the family, like a Cruse volunteer, can be helpful
for all who have lost someone special.

Sheridan I can sort of understand why you do what you do every Saturday because some how Saturday and Sunday are different to weekdays, even if you are no longer going out to work. I can't imagine though how raw you must feel so soon after your loss, but I do agree with the other posters that months it not much time to have passed to be getting used to it. Please try to show yourself compassion and allow the passing of time to ease your grief.

My heart goes out to all of you who have lost their life partners.

Watching your husband/partner die must be one of the worst things you can ever experience. I was married for 44 years and I still can't believe he's gone.

It's been just over three years now. I put up a good show of being all right, especially around my grandchildren and children but here I am up early as usual wondering how to cope with another day without him.

It does get easier Sheridan and the pain shrinks down over time. I found Cruse very helpful in the early days and now I go to a Bereavement Group every other week which is very reassuring.

It's very early days for you, so don't despair, there will be days in the future when you will feel happy, but it will be a different sort of happy.

Your feeling are all normal and part of the hard road they call the grieving process.

Beautifully put Falconbird. A different kind of happiness is something to aspire to in time.

So much sadness. I'm so sorry, must be very hard for you Sheridan and all bereaved Gransnetters.
I don't know how you feel but I do know that that it is perfectly normal to feel as you do.
(((Hugs))) and to you all x

For Sheridan and all the others who are bereaved I send you

I know how painful it is to lose someone dear to you. It does, eventually, get easier, but it doesn't go away. You wouldn't want it to, as the pain is a measure of your love and you don't stop loving someone because they've died. But somehow you learn to take the loss along with you.

Sheridan I can only say what the other posters have said....and do keep posting here, gnetters are full of support whenever you need them.

My sister was very lucky, she looked in her local paper and found a 'lonely widows' group advertising a meet-up in a local hotel, for a coffee. They are all now firm friends, about eight of them, and often do together what each misses most, Sunday lunches out, trips to places they enjoyed in the past, that sort of thing. She calls it, replacing old happy memories with new happy memories.

Sheridan I can't begin to imagine the pain you are feeling at the moment. But of course you are feeling angry having watched your much loved partner die. That awful feeling of helplessness is so overwhelming isn't it? To you and all of the other bereaved GNs both on this thread and those who haven't yet posted my heartfelt condolences. ((Hugs)) and

It is good to be able to look for support and understanding on here.

The same from me - I admire the way you all continue.
We who still have our OHs complain about them sometimes, but really we're blessed.

I hope I go first! I don't want to be without him. Selfish, I know, but we've been together for so long and it would be so bleak and awful. DH has prostate cancer and we had some good news yesterday as it has not developed much in the last six months. I gave him such a big hug and was determined not to cry in front of him, so went off to the kitchen to empty the washing machine. It was full of his woollen sweaters and I buried my face in them. What a wimp!!

Bennan you are certainly no wipm! you had an emotional day with some good news and a feeling of relief,clothing is one of the personal items we can hold on to, feel and touch, dhs velour dressing gown still hangs on the back of the bedroom door,I often hold onto it.