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Wind in the willows!

(92 Posts)
louella Mon 20-Jul-15 19:57:14

On Saturday, because it was such a beautiful day, a friend and I decided to spend the afternoon walking in the local countryside. We were chatting as we strolled along the riverbank when suddenly she let out an enormous fart. She was mid sentence at the time and carried on as though nothing had happened but I was completely thrown! I'm sure it was a fart - there was no traffic or anything else it could have been. It definitely wasn't me grin But I didn't know whether to acknowledge it and make a joke of it or pretend nothing had happened. I opted for the latter out of sheer embarrassment. Anyone else been put in this awkward position?!

tanith Mon 20-Jul-15 20:01:13

I'd of treated it as a joke its not the end of the world is it?

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 20:07:00

Not at all - but I reckoned it was either immediately (when I was too flustered to do so) or not at all so I went with the latter

Ana Mon 20-Jul-15 20:09:20

If your friend didn't make any reference to it, I think it was wise to ignore it.

She either didn't know she'd done it (unlikely!) or hoped you hadn't noticed...

Luckygirl Mon 20-Jul-15 20:28:29

My FIL used to do this all the time - it drove my OH mad. Every time he stood up from a chair there would be a massive trumpeting. He used to ignore it and never apologised - he was not deaf so he knew what was happening. It did nothing to enhance his visits.

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 20:54:45

Yes Ana I assume the latter. But there's no way I could have missed it - very loud!!

NfkDumpling Mon 20-Jul-15 20:58:22

This happened once when we were walking with friends after a good lunch. Both of them! They ignored it so so did we. Figured it was what was the expected thing to do as they are both quite well bred!

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 20:58:57

grin

Anne58 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:00:03

I think it is very much one of those things that are either mentioned (by either party the farter or...... um "the fartee"? or not mentioned at all.

For some reason it has put me in mind of the old joke about the gentleman in his bath!

Jane10 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:00:57

She must have thought she'd got away with it. We once had an elderly neighbour who'd let fly like that. My DS was only a little boy then and he thought it was great. Still does sad!

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 21:03:37

fartee!! I love that

Ana Mon 20-Jul-15 21:04:48

Must admit my late MIL used to do it all the time when she became frail - every faltering step with her walking frame seemed to be accompanied by a (quite ladylike) fart!

No one would have dreamed of commenting in her presence, although it did become a bit of a family joke.

Anne58 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:09:01

I worked for a while with an older chap with a "wind" problem.

He would often walk through our section of the open plan office with a collection of coffee mugs, which he would sort of clink together to try to overcome the sound of his passing, so to speak. Trouble was he had absolutely no sense of rhythm, so it would sort of go "clink fart fart clink fart, double clink fart fart", sometimes with a little tremolo effect, and a slight hint of echo.

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 21:11:42

I admit to some near misses in plates class

There are some poses that make it VERY hard not to do it

Penstemmon Mon 20-Jul-15 21:12:01

I like that card with 2 Edwardian couples on it.
The caption says: 1st Man 'Sir, you farted before my wife'
2nd Man 'So sorry, didn't know it was her turn'
grin

Ana Mon 20-Jul-15 21:13:19

grin

louella Mon 20-Jul-15 21:14:00

grin grin

Anne58 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:24:42

An elderly gentleman of means was taking a bath, as his valet stood on side to ensure the gent got in without any problems. He managed to do this and said "You may go now Perkins"

The old chap was somewhat disconcerted when the valet came back into the room bearing a silver salver with a lid.

The gentleman asked "What on earth have you got there Perkins?"

The valet lifted the lid and said, "It's what you ordered Sir, as I left the room after asking if there was anything else you required, I distinctly heard you say "A bottle of bovril and a hot water bottle"

shysal Mon 20-Jul-15 21:27:23

Phoenix, please do tell the joke about the man in the bath! grin
I walk with a friend every Sunday morning. She farts the whole time. Her hearing is not good, so she either thinks I can't hear, or doesn't know she is doing it. I have never mentioned it, as I know she would be mortified!
I did once let one off while stretching at the end of a class. Fortunately the music was loud, so I carried on regardless!

Anne58 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:28:29

Erm, shysal I just did, up there^ blush

Ana Mon 20-Jul-15 21:29:46

I thought that was the joke about the man in the bath...grin

Jane10 Mon 20-Jul-15 21:36:52

I had heard that one with a 'soda water bottle' instead. Great joke though! Farting just is funny!

merlotgran Mon 20-Jul-15 21:41:55

I don't think I will every wear Crocs again sad

Hot day in the garden....sweaty feet.... delivery man....signed for parcel....turned to go blush blush

Why did it have to be so much louder than the real thing??

Luckygirl Mon 20-Jul-15 21:50:58

There is that old story about Queen Victoria farting during a meal and pretending that the footman had done it, turning to him and saying "Stop it." The reply was:"Certainly madam - which way did it go?"

feetlebaum Mon 20-Jul-15 22:28:09

@Phoenix -- In one vbersion of that classic tale, the servant/batman is called Wibble, and the old boy asks him "What about a water-bottle, Wibble?"
Still cracks me up!