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Wind in the willows!

(93 Posts)
louella Mon 20-Jul-15 19:57:14

On Saturday, because it was such a beautiful day, a friend and I decided to spend the afternoon walking in the local countryside. We were chatting as we strolled along the riverbank when suddenly she let out an enormous fart. She was mid sentence at the time and carried on as though nothing had happened but I was completely thrown! I'm sure it was a fart - there was no traffic or anything else it could have been. It definitely wasn't me grin But I didn't know whether to acknowledge it and make a joke of it or pretend nothing had happened. I opted for the latter out of sheer embarrassment. Anyone else been put in this awkward position?!

downtoearth Fri 24-Jul-15 11:00:13

my ex was responsible for his own hole in the ozone layer ...his son takes after him....

downtoearth Fri 24-Jul-15 10:58:06

I remember in the hall for school assembley,sitting cross legged on the parquet floor,the boys then let rip during a quiet moment and it used to echo around the room as it hit the floor......also had a colleague in my last job who would walk around ripping them out oblivious to the looks on the customers and managers face....I would silently point If I had the misfortune to be next to her so I didn't get the blame...she earned the name of Trumpet Trousers..grin ...I have got to admit to fart humour as well..blush

janerowena Thu 23-Jul-15 23:59:30

I want to know who decided it shouldn't be. Who decided that it had to be ignored. I once had a work colleague who could fart to order, and always picked boring moments in meetings. It certainly speeded up some of the men who were actually far greater windbags than he was.

grannyzanny Thu 23-Jul-15 23:55:59

grin grin Just been reading this thread. Glad I'm not the only one who finds farting funny!!

Katek Thu 23-Jul-15 23:37:29

Hahaha! Haven't laughed so much in a while - dh keeps looking over and asking what I'm reading! Not telling him for fear it starts him off! He could win prizes.......!

downtoearth Thu 23-Jul-15 19:20:30

my dog does it and looks round at her butt in surprise....then wags her tail and shares it ,she also has a habit of scurfing her bum on the astro turf in front of company,then getting up and sniffing itgrin....my mum would say she was expecting a message ..then say "speak up Brown ..you're through" after she let rip. she did it so often she could have been a switchboard operatorgrin

Gemmag Thu 23-Jul-15 19:03:14

cupcake

Jane10 Thu 23-Jul-15 17:57:03

S/he who smelt it dealt it gemmag!! grin

Gemmag Thu 23-Jul-15 11:29:14

My dog has just farted, should I say something shock roastchicken

Gemmag Thu 23-Jul-15 11:02:10

For goodness sake Louella, can't you think of something more interesting to discuss than people breaking wind!. We all do at sometime and anyone who says otherwise is lying. It is just polite to ignore it as anything else would have put your friends in a most embarrassing position.shock

Luckygirl Thu 23-Jul-15 09:15:31

Apparently teachers do this - they wander to the far end of the classroom, let fly, then return rapidly to the front.

Purpledaffodil Wed 22-Jul-15 23:03:45

Apparently wind is a problem of air travel. When DD was cabin crew, one of them would often say "I'm off down the cabin for a fart". I always think of that when I see a beautifully made up air hostess apparently checking all is well with the passengers. grin

cazthebookworm Wed 22-Jul-15 22:57:46

Thanks so much for all the contributions to this thread, I haven't laughed so much for ages, hilarious. grin

Ana Wed 22-Jul-15 21:56:50

Does that explain your username, Jaxie? grin

jinglbellsfrocks Wed 22-Jul-15 21:39:04

Quiet National Trust houses are the worst places for it to happen.

Jaxie Wed 22-Jul-15 21:34:58

Since I became diabetic I have had dreadful uncontrollable wind problems. I have to "scrunge" the emission outlet to try to control it but often to no effect. My husband says, after a fart, " Did you speak, dear?" I have been dreadfully humiliated when in company, but I think people are happiest pretending it never happened.

feetlebaum Wed 22-Jul-15 21:23:39

Ladies and Gents react very differently: while a woman will be embarrassed and try to pretend it didn;t happen at all, men will offer a round of applause and cries of encouragement, as "I'll name that tune in one!", or "A bit more choke and she might start next time!" or (Goon fans) "No more curried eggs for me!"

Nampam Wed 22-Jul-15 20:46:57

My friend and I have on occasion, 'let fly' we just giggle and blame the 'creaky floorboards'.

janerowena Wed 22-Jul-15 20:27:05

I loved the ending of that video - May the farts be with you! grin

shysal Wed 22-Jul-15 17:53:51

The elderly mother of a friend used to swear that she could trump the National Anthem. I did not ask for a demonstration!

onneker Wed 22-Jul-15 17:31:11

susieq - That was such a lovely video from Dr Smith, really funny and helpful.

Thank you for the food suggestions but all my favourite foods were being ruled out and I think it's better to fart than miss my daily muesli!

westieyaya Wed 22-Jul-15 16:04:15

Just a final comment, on the odd occasion that I produced a silent one, my old dog would jump down from beside me and walk away in disgust......lest she be blamed!

Falconbird Wed 22-Jul-15 12:37:56

Merlotgran - Your mum sounds like a laugh. [smile}

shysal Wed 22-Jul-15 11:59:17

Lost some of my control of wind after a HALO op. for piles. Rising from a chair is a hazard for me too. As I live alone it doesn't usually matter, but I have to be careful in company.

TriciaF Wed 22-Jul-15 11:20:31

I used to visit a neighbour who was in her mid 90s at the time, and whenever she rose from her chair she would pass wind. I'll probably be like that soon, if I last that long.