Worry, worry, worry

I'm also a worrier, Siilyoldbird. Over the years I've stopped worrying about what people think of me (they're only other people, after all!) but I do worry about my family etc.

At 57, you would think I had stopped worrying about what other people think. But I'm afraid I've not managed to shake that one off!

Sorry to hear your a worrier too. Perhaps we should start a club offering mutual support?!

I despair of myself sometimes.

the older I get the less I care about what other people think of me. However I worry constantly about my family,never worry about my health or money ( never had much to worry over really) was always a fairly happy go lucky type of person until I was about fortyish and then seemed to start fretting over stuff that had happened , stuff that might happen or indeed stuff that could never happen always feel the need to leave my phone on ' just in case' but am going away for a couple of days next week and have promised myself that I will turn it off and just access it once a day...here's hoping I can.

Yes I'm getting worse also, worrying, over thinking, negative thinking. My friends say the same.
What can we do about it?

My family laugh at me for being a worrier. I find myself worrying in advance of things that only might happen and usually don't occur! I'm really good at worrying but one positive aspect is that it makes me plan ahead to circumvent unpleasant outcomes. I read a study recently that said that it was an intelligent thing to do. That cheered me up (briefly!)

I'm not really a worrier BUT I find I am thinking more negatively about life as a whole. I am concerned about not being very popular and how others see me. I probably come over as a bit cold as I don't go in for the kissy kissy dwarling stuff much and I can be rather factual which I'm told is a bit scary. What to do about it? I don't know. I certainly feel less and less like socialising- my small talk is non existent and I don't find other people jokes that funny so when everyone else is laughing like drains I've probably got a bored expression on. No hope really.

Worry? What's that! I don't worry about anything. If I or my family have a problem I try to find a solution. Worrying about things doesn't solve anything. I have always been a happy little woman, with a fairly carefree attitude to life. My late mother was a terrible worrier, and always said she wished she could be like me.

Does it not come down to the fact though, that if things have happened to your family in the past, that you fear they're going to happen again? And how will the family member cope if it happens again, etc?
I don't worry about my health - or anything to do with me, really - only how can I divert bad things happening to my loved ones.
I don't do much socialising, apart from a lunch with pals now and again. I actually can't really be bothered doing more than that!
Like chloe, I have to have my phone with me at all times.

Ooooooh I do wish I was like hildajenniJ.

But most of you sound just as neurotic (sorry!) as I am. AndyF I have no idea what to do but coming on here and nattering on to people about it seems to help me.

Remember the radio programme Mrs Dales Diary? It used to nearly always begin with Mrs Dale stating, 'I'm worried about Jim!' It became a family catchphrase in our house if anyone was having a bad time.

I refuse to be a worrier because my mother used to dump all her worries on me while she sailed through life with a smile on her face because I'm a gritter of teeth and get on with it kind of person.

I'm sure it's true that you become more of a worrier as you get older though.

I'm a bit of a worrier too. I try not to be, but it's hard. I don't worry about myself much (although there are times, of course...), it's mostly about other people, especially husband, children and grandchildren, of course.
And then there are the bigger worries, the ones about the world in general, climate change, political unrest, terrorism - how all of this will affect my children and grandchildren, especially after we are gone. How ridiculous is that! I never felt, years ago, that it was my parents' responsibility to protect me from danger once I was well into adulthood, and I doubt my children feel they still need our protection! And anyway, how, I ask myself, could I possibly do anything to protect my 40 something children from climate change or terrorism? But it's a mum thing, you know, part of the JD to have the sticking plaster ready at all times. So I worry

Yes I worry about absolutely everything. My confidence is rock bottom (not that it has ever been high). I question everything I do. Am I doing this right? I bet others would do it better. Am I a bad wife/mother? Will someone in my family come to harm from illness/terrorism etc? Do I eat/drink too much? Or not enough? Has everything I have ever done been the wrong thing to do? Do people dislike me? Like Teetime, I think I may come over as cold as I can't stand all that kissy kissy stuff either. DH and I don't get invited to many things and I wonder if it's because people don't like me/us. I have always thought we were nice, kind people but have worried lately that I have got that wrong I agree that it is negative thinking. It's a habit with me. Must try harder. The above posts are reassuring, as I realise it's not just me!

When I wake up I often find myself thinking, "Now, what have a got to worry about today?"
I think it's living alone that gives us time to worry more, and having no-one at hand to discuss worries with, so they multiply.

katyK its sounds like me are stuck in the same negative thinking spiral - we don't get asked out much and when we do we don't want to go!!! LOL.

I got a lovely message from a kind Gransnetter today so I am going to try to be much more positive and do some NLP on myself!! Have a worry free day if you can. My grannie used to say ' never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you'.

I worry about everything and anything. Like you, if I don't feel worried I worry that something is wrong. I can't remember a time when I didn't have a knot in my stomach and a whirlpool in my head.

My Dad was a supreme worrier, something which I inherited from him.. I've always worried, mostly about the family : are they safe when travelling, their health problems etc etc. When DH died, the worries took on huge proportions, completely unrealistically. I had to worry about paying bills, sorting out all the house problems, getting from a to b, staying on my own in hotels - you name it, I worried about it. I took on the worries of the world. Now, 3 years on, I still worry but think 'there is nothing I can do about half of them, the other half will take care of themselves, so just let it go'. I have become quite relaxed and laid back and it is a quite liberating feeling. I think a lot of it has to do with being in control - if you can let go of that and realise that life does go on whether you worry or not, you will be far happier.....

TBH I think some of it is to do with no longer having that overweening confidence of youth where all things are possible and you know everything.
At our age, not only do we know that it might happen, but it probably will. If it hasn't already.
That can make us more pragmatic but it also saps the optimism. I come from a long line of worriers and recognise all the traits.
Haven't heard from the DDs? Accident on the motorway, followed by if SIL remarries will I ever see my lovely DGCs again?
DGS having tantrums? Must be a psychological problem. DGS not eating? Malnutrition.
To be fair this is my 4.30am reaction, fortified by a cup of coffee and some silliness on GN I usually feel much more balanced.
chins up!!

I was talking to an old school friend about our days at school. There were 4 of us who were good friends.

My friend said she always thought of us in this way.

She was the quiet one.
Friend two was the extrovert.
Friend three was the eccentric....

I waited with baited breath hoping I would be the pretty one, or the kind one, etc., but NO ...

I was the WORRIER

Still am of course but learning not to worry quite so much as the years go by.

Sillyoldbird - I'm sure you are a verywisematurebird

I think it is more than a habit - and even if it is, habits are hard to break
I am not a worrier - I mean, I do worry about things worth worrying about, but not to the extent I can't put those thoughts away and think of something else.

Is therapy or if not that, counselling, not an option? It seems to me that worrying is something that really does affect relationships, with friends and family. I know I have had this issue with relatives; persistent worrying is exhausting for everyone. In the end, people don't tell them stuff in case they worry about it, and that reduces shared experience and communication. Seems to me this is worth tackling with outside help, if needed.

I`m a worrier. I worry constantly about what others think of me, or my husband, or daughter, or the house, the car...........ad infinitum! Just can`t help it.

I'm with Soutra! She summed it up perfectly. A perfectly small worry will hurtle down the hill gathering worry moss until it becomes a potential disaster, with sleepless nights, usually for nothing. Fortunately I have a DH who seems to be incapable of worrying about anything. I wish I could be like him.

Another worrier here. Can't say it's got worse as I've got older (apart from the fact that I have more people to worry about as the family has grown), as I've always been like that. As a child, I would worry about things like a dentist's appoint for weeks leading up to it, even though I'd never had anything wrong with my teeth.

The nights are the worst - if I wake up in the middle of the night and can't get back to sleep, my mind will inevitably seek out something to worry about, and as we all know, everything feels worse in the middle of the night! It might be my elderly parents, my children or grandchildren, why people don't like me, the car, the future, terrorism ... . No matter how hard I try to just concentrate on my breathing and get back to sleep, my mind won't be distracted from worry!

Teetime; years ago I saw a note that someone had written about me which said 'does she still get on your nerves as much as she did' [it was someone I worked with]. I was @ 18 at the time and I don't think I've ever got over it, especially as I get on my own nerves a lot of the time .

I also worry about most of the things others have mentioned, but I try to put it in the context of over thinking.

I always imagine worst case scenarios and have a plan should they happen! For example staying in hotels or holiday houses, my first thought is how do I escape if there was a fire! I've never been in a fire!

As mothers, we possibly have an inbuilt preservation of nearest and dearest so that leads to worry. Especially in the small wee hours.

x