Worry, worry, worry

My SiL said to me on Sunday when we were out walking by a river that, in all the time he had known me, he had never known me be so risk-averse about even the smallest things as I am now. I got myself into a flap about having to cross a weir where some of the stepping stones were almost under water. He said "if you had to stand up to your bum in the river with a fishing rod in your hand you wouldn't turn a hair - what's different except that you aren't wearing waders?" I honestly couldn't tell him. I worry constantly when we are out with GS in ways I never did about my own children and they were no less cavalier in their attitude to their surroundings than he is. I think the way I worry about everything everyone does irritates SiL, but he's too polite to say so!

I can identify with Teetime's comments. I think I take after my father, who was a worrier too. He always got a spot on his nose when more anxious than usual. Luckily I haven't inherited that!

I'm also a worrier but not so much in recent couple of years when I accepted the lightbulb moment that I can't make everything perfect for everyone. Not being a fan of self help books I somehow read a book 'The Worry Book'. It changed my attitude.... And still does. Though at times when I've posted it may not seem so.

I was so impressed that I recommended it to my friend's daughter who was like a worry clone of myself. She in turn passed it on to someone else.

I can still worry about family without real reason but not to the point of debilitation like I used to.

I'm similar to hildajenni, very rarely worry about things and take everything in my stride. I usually ask myself "can I do anything about this situation", if the answer is "no", then you just push it aside and get on with the next thing

I'm a worrier too. How can one not worry about the happiness and health of friends and family? Of course, worrying should not take the place of actually trying to do something tangible to help but if a problem seems insoluble I can't see how it's possible not to worry. Some people talk about worriers as if they make a deliberate choice. Sometimes I wake up in the morning feeling tense and anxious - it is not something I would choose.

Eloethan, that's the problem, isn't it? The not being able to do anything about it. Like you, I wake feeling tense and anxious - and that's if I've managed to sleep through till the morning. Usually I wake between 3 and 4am and my mind fills up with the worry.
I'm glad I'm not on my own with this.

That's a good saying from your grannie Teetime and Coolgran I may get that book! Coincidentally I have just been into town and passed a book shop. In the window there was a book entitled "How Never To Be Wrong About Anything'. I was tempted to buy it and then I could reverse my thinking and become a complete 'know it all'

Grannies used to have some good sayings didn't they?Mine used to say 'do your best and leave the rest' and also 'hope for the best, expect the worse!'

Mine said 'hope for the best but prepare for the worst', which is an extremely sensible tip!

I am not a natural worrier, but have found, like most on here, that I don't feel as optimistic as I used to, this must be an age thing.Generally though I don't worry, unless there is a real problem to worry about, rather than vague fears.If I wake in the night and start thinking any negative thoughts, I tell myself firmly not to be an idiot.everything looks better in the morning, unless something terrible has happened of course.

I was a worrier par excellance until I nearly lost the plot completely late last year.
I'm determined only to worry about things I can do something about and let the rest go. Oddly enough it seems to work for me

If a problem seems unsolvable then I let it rest for a few days rather than work myself into a state of exhaustion which takes me ages to recover from, and try to be logical about just what I can do about it.

Can I join the worriers club? I'm the champion worrier of all time!

KatyK I got the title wrong from memory.
It's actually called 'The Worry Cure: Stop Worrying and Start Living' by Robert Leahy and it's on Amazon.

While you're crocheting, Galen, do you find that it helps divert your worrying a bit?

I was born to worry and I'm getting tired of it now! My dad used to say there's no point worrying until it happens, true, but it never stops me.
I'm a good listener too, so I get everyone else's problems to worry about as well.

Hey ho!

No! I worry if it's going ok?

KatyK..your first post on there could have been written by me !!! except the bit about being cold..I don't think I'm cold in fact everyone says I'm bright and amusing ( moi ?? ) it's an act really. Inside I have very little confidence and very low esteem. Everyone else is always so much better than me. I was always anxious and a worrier as a child...it carried on into my teens, and adult life. I will be 66 soon and still feel the same. I really thought as I got older I'd become much more gung ho about things but no way...I am worse.

Like so many of you I worry about everything, and anything..and I do worry about my health and get very "doom and gloom" about stuff. I expect now I shall always be the same....and there's also the thing - when does worrying become anxiety - and when does anxiety become depression?

Sorry I seem to have mucked up that post...I have pressed the "flip" word and my post has gone to the top of the page....and some of my words have been lined through..don;t know why?
Oh heck I am going to worry about that now

You can flip it back again, sheena. The cross-through is because you did -- before and after some of your post. That is the cue for it to be struck through. You probably meant to do one dash and your finger twitched. Don't panic.

When younger I used to get quite frustrated by my mothers worrying. Now I'm almost as bad! I cope much less well with stress so seem to worry about things in case they are stressful. Very silly I know.

But Elegran there were no double dashes in Sheena's post...very odd!

"also the thing -when does worrying become anxiety- and"
I reproduced that by putting three dashes up close against each end of "when does worrying become anxiety" One of each three shows as an ordinary dash, the other two become the cue for it to be shown with a strike-through.

Ah! Well solved Holmes Elegran!

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Thanks re the book Coolgran. Sheena - I am almost 66 too. Perhaps it is something to do with the year we were born . Low self esteem is at the back of a lot of my worrying habits. My terrible childhood, lack of parental love, violent alcoholic father, neglect etc. Worrying became a way of life from childhood. I don't suppose I would be full of the joys of spring and carefree would I?