Worry, worry, worry

As others may have said, worrying doesnt solve a thing. Not a thing.

There are sort of two sides to worry. Essentially, whether something needs to be done practically, or whether it doesnt.

You could also plan ahead for potential problems.

But the worrying in itself does nothing. Zilch.

It takes a lot to stop it actually. It takes practice. Maybe years.

The trouble is I think if you have a reputation as a worrier, maybe people keep things from you. A few years ago my daughter had a nasty accident whilst on holiday with her husband and small daughter. At the time my DD and me were quite close and she would constantly text me as she was doing on this holiday. Suddenly the texts stopped and I got nothing for about 4 days. I couldn't get through to her phone or SIL's. I had no number for the place they were staying. It turns out she had a bad fall and was quite badly injured (all was fine in the end). They didn't tell us because I would worry!!! Little did they know that I (and my DH) were frantic with worry over the silence as it was so unusual. I would have been far less worried if they had phoned and given me the details. The silence was horrendous. We imagined that something dreadful had happened to all of them.

My mother made worrying into a full time activity. Her 'What If' list was endless. Now, when I show any signs of worrying out loud it's "Yes Nanna" and "You're turning into your Mother". So I worry quietly, in the night. All night sometimes!

I agree it is age thing - for me at least. I used to feel that I could only really concentratedly worry about one thing/person/child/event at a time. Now I can multi-task worry with ease.

I think worry does increase with age. We went on a horse drawn caravan holiday with three children, the youngest was only two and still in nappies!!!
My mum who was in her sixties was worried sick.

I was 30 and Dh was 32.

Nothing bad happened and we had a great time.

The very thought of it all these years later makes me worry in retrospect.

I suspect it's an age thing too. We used to load up the car with camping stuff and head off into France with three small children. Now I have spent weeks trawling the Internet for a holiday for DH and I while worrying about every possible detail of transfers and possible health problems. Have finally booked and now I am worrying about the choice. Note the time of post!

I worry about thing then I tell myself what will be will be .Dh never worry I do wish I could be like him, smile

Sorry, etheltbags - it's the predictive text

Same here Ethel bags. I worry most about health, mine and other people's. The worse thing is that I'm actually quite healthy and them I feel guilty for those who are not.
And I worry about world events, what people think of me and what I look like.
If I'm not worrying, I feel guilty and as though something bad will happen. Its as though I feel that I'm not entitled to have peace of mind

I think I actually worry less now.But it's taken a serious health scare and recently finding out a much loved relative has terminal cancer to make me adopt a much more live for today attitude.When I look back I realise that I wasted a lot of time and mental energy stressing about things that never happened.But I also think I've improved since my periods have stopped,because I had cyclical insomnia and sleepless nights didn't help with fretting.
That said I have just found out I'm about to become a grandma for the first time,and I'm already quietly worrying about my daughter and her pregnancy.So still a way to go !

I think I am the worlds worst worrier, I worry constantly about my health, wake up in the night worrying about being ill/being treated in hospital/dying etc. I worry that there wont be enough money to pay my bills/house will be repossessed/made bankrupt/get into debt etc
I worry that something bad will happen to my family. I even worry that on a day when I have no worries, something bad will happen. I worry that I have nothing to worry about.

My children call me ' What if ! 'They say that whenever they tell me what they are doing or where they are going, I always chime in with What if? ....the car breaks down......the flight is cancelled....they lose their wallets etc.etc. I tell them I am a realist and like to forsee what problems could occur and be prepared for them. They just say it is pessimism and overtly worrying. Never worry about myself or peoples opinions of me these days though. I am too old to change what people may perceive is wrong with me. I am what I am ! Could write a song about it but I think it has already been done !!

Yes! yes! yes! - I'm the Queen of Worst Case Scenarios, my family continually roll their eyes at my "what if" view of life, I just wonder where I got it from.

However, the up side is, if my paranoia is unfounded, I feel quite happy

It's so gratifying to read all the posts. I seem to worry more and more about everything. I worry that something will happen to my husband and I will be left alone. Because we have moved about a lot, we've lost many friends along the way and I imagine my funeral, with no-one there except my family!! How embarrassing!

Trisher I use the box idea with people who have upset me. It works well. They pop out occasionally, in real life! But I can cope with them because I know that mentally I can put them back in the box later.
x

I worried a bit when I was younger, now I seem to have stopped altogether. My gran always said "Worrying never solved anything." I have heard about people who worry, being helped by visualising the worry and imagining putting it in a box then sealing the top and not looking at it again until a time you decide. Would love to know if it works.

Thanks re the book Coolgran. Sheena - I am almost 66 too. Perhaps it is something to do with the year we were born . Low self esteem is at the back of a lot of my worrying habits. My terrible childhood, lack of parental love, violent alcoholic father, neglect etc. Worrying became a way of life from childhood. I don't suppose I would be full of the joys of spring and carefree would I?

Elementary, my dear Watson.

Ah! Well solved Holmes Elegran!

"also the thing -when does worrying become anxiety- and"
I reproduced that by putting three dashes up close against each end of "when does worrying become anxiety" One of each three shows as an ordinary dash, the other two become the cue for it to be shown with a strike-through.

But Elegran there were no double dashes in Sheena's post...very odd!

When younger I used to get quite frustrated by my mothers worrying. Now I'm almost as bad! I cope much less well with stress so seem to worry about things in case they are stressful. Very silly I know.

You can flip it back again, sheena. The cross-through is because you did -- before and after some of your post. That is the cue for it to be struck through. You probably meant to do one dash and your finger twitched. Don't panic.

Sorry I seem to have mucked up that post...I have pressed the "flip" word and my post has gone to the top of the page....and some of my words have been lined through..don;t know why?
Oh heck I am going to worry about that now

KatyK..your first post on there could have been written by me !!! except the bit about being cold..I don't think I'm cold in fact everyone says I'm bright and amusing ( moi ?? ) it's an act really. Inside I have very little confidence and very low esteem. Everyone else is always so much better than me. I was always anxious and a worrier as a child...it carried on into my teens, and adult life. I will be 66 soon and still feel the same. I really thought as I got older I'd become much more gung ho about things but no way...I am worse.

Like so many of you I worry about everything, and anything..and I do worry about my health and get very "doom and gloom" about stuff. I expect now I shall always be the same....and there's also the thing - when does worrying become anxiety - and when does anxiety become depression?

No! I worry if it's going ok?