Yummy mummy nasty neighbour

Not terribly helpful from your point of view, but the sonic deterrent, which had been installed in the porch of the local community centre to discourage teens from hanging about there drinking, had to be removed when it was found to badly affect babies and toddlers entering the building. Apparently the younger you are, the more a sonic deterrent (which is inaudible to adults) painfully affects your hearing.

How can spikes in your garden be a risk to her children? Are they coming into your garden without permission?

As to the apple throwing......complain to the police. She can't say you've brought it on yourself. She has a responsibility to control her children. I'm sure they wouldn't be throwing apples if they didn't think they had her permission. It's assault and even if her children are under the age of criminal responsibility she can still be spoken to and even cautioned if necessary.

Oh that's a difficult one it sounds as if she is out to be awkward. Are her children likely to be able to be able to get into your garden without obviously climbing a fence etc?Community support officers if it continues but try to get a record of what is going on.
You probably need to be very careful of filming her kids being a nuisance these days though or she will accuse you of worse.

Have a bottle of water handy to spray on the cat and he will soon get the message that he is not wanted in your garden. My cat has been terrorised by 2 bully boys and after one boldly came into my house a few days ago, I emptied a litre of water on to him and I have not seen or heard of him since.

Not too sure what to do about the children.

Nelliemoser's right, Charleygirl. Contact your local Community policeman/woman. Ours, here in the village, are so good at sorting out issues with children and other anti-social behaviour types of things. This can entail contacting the school that the children go to, as well. I know that's not an option at the moment, but would still be taken up after the schools return at the end of the summer. Is your neighbour imagining that her children are going to be bouncing so high on their trampoline that they're going to sail over the fence and impale themselves on the spikes in your cabbage patch ?

OOps! My post was to CarolynR - sorry !

Since it's dry (if it's dry!) try sprinkling chilli powder among your veg - not over your veg, unless you want ready made curry.

Never mind spraying the cat. Turn your hose on to high pressure and spray the bloody kids. OOPS! My hand slipped

She can't prove you weren't watering your veggies.

And throw the apples back......they're her property.

If the apples were ready, I'd be keeping them!

I think the sort of sonic deterrent that CarolynR is probably talking about is not the one which is only audible to young people. We have a "cat deterrent" device that is audible to everyone and is purely to deter cats/foxes.

Maybe the neighbour thinks that the device is the type that councils use to deter teenagers and she is worried about her children. If I'm right, I wondered if, so that this dispute doesn't escalate, it might be better to try and speak to her and explain that the deterrent is purely to deter cats. There is nothing worse that having bad feelings with neighbours.

I think if there is any chance the device could be harmful to young children, then the neighbour's reaction is very understandable. Mothers do worry, quite rightly, about their children.

You should investigate thoroughly. The hearing of a child is more important than your veg. Sorry.

You should obtain some research, and discuss it with her.

Part of a review from a purchaser of one of these from Amazon. "And my niece and nephew can hear the noise it makes and find it quite painful to the ears - so if you have kids around and you're in the garden - TURN IT OFF"

Is it the cat deterrent or the spikes she objects to? Was she trouble before?

I can't see how the sonic noise can hurt children. Might be a bit irritating if they can hear it but my understanding of these contraptions is that they only make a noise if they sense something within range so as long as the kids/cats aren't in your veg patch the thing shouldn't be making any sound.

How tall is the fence? If it's six feet the children shouldn't be able to touch the top anyway so the spike won't affect them.

I think your neighbour is just being a bitch.

You haven't done anything wrong but she has by allowing/encouraging her children to throw apples at you. Keep a diary and complain to the police.

At the risk of sounding totally wimpy, I have always maintained a policy that it is very very important to keep on reasonably good terms with one's neighbours - I saw what not doing that did to my Mum - she became seriously depressed by it and was never quite the same again afterwards. It is dreadfully stressful to be at loggerheads with one's neighbours.

Is the cat poo such a serious problem that it is worth putting yourself through all this stress and all the stress that is undoubtedly to come? Is poo not manure?

Why not just try and ignore it all for a bit and let the dust settle? Ratcheting thinsg up by involving police etc will result in long term grief for you as well as for her. Is it worth putting yourself through all this for the sake of a bit of poo? This sort of thing escalates and living with peace of mind may be a higher priority - bad feeling can drag on for years.

I'd make her feel so bad by making an apple pie with the apples and presenting her with it telling her she obviousley has a surplus of fruit,but seriously I would involve Police as these children are going to be a problem as they get older with such an inconsiderate & nasty mother.

Doesn"t cat poo poison the soil ?

I think the neighbour has already ratcheted it up by allowing her children to throw apples. A discussion between adults is one thing but allowing her children to behave in such a manner has taken it to the next level.

I have just looked up cat poo and vegetable plots and it is not great as it contains parasites. Could you not just get a trowel and heave it into the hedge?

I cannot imagine that there is any way of preventing cats from pooing where they choose - it's a pain I know but just how life is. There could be several cats doing this, not just the neighbour's. We get cat poo in our garden and just chuck it away as we have GC who visit; but we do not seek out the "culprit" as there is little the owners can do. I do not personally like cats and would not keep one, but, unlike dogs which can and should be kept under control, they are free range animals, so complaining to the nieghbour is somewhat futile as she cannot keep it in.

I really do think that falling out with the neighbour over it is the last thing you need to do, and these things escalate.

I am sorry that you are having this difficult situation.

Our neighbor in Stoke smashed the jaw of our cat, with a spade, because it would visit its veg garden - which of course we could not prevent.

I am a gardener, so I can understand the frustrations of a non cat lover to regular visits, never mind the one of a cat lover. Much better to prevent the cat from coming to said veg patch, than hurt the animal.

Find a way to peacefully sort this out or it could turn all very unpleasant. But she is totally out of order to not restrain (and even possibly encourage) her children from throwing apples. I am so lucky that apart from said neighbour, we've always had fantastic neighbours and collaboration with them all. And same here.

I'll be speaking to someone tomorrow that used to go round the country lecturing on gardening and I know they've had an ongoing problem with cats in their garden. They have got one of those black metal cats on their front lawn, but not sure if it ever deterred any cats from their garden. I used to give my cats a litter tray but they still went in my neighbours garden because they don't like to soil their own territory and they like nicely cultivated soil [also a territorial thing as well, I guess]. Maybe in future years you could plant coleus [sp] round the edge; cats are supposed to hate it. Much as I loved my own cats I do agree that cat poo is disgusting; even worse when they do it on the lawn and you have young children playing on it.

Lemon balm as a border plant can be effective but has a tendency for world domination.(for cats not children ) apples here are like bullets and are dropping off the trees. If the children are throwing these they are painful. Just stood on one in bare feet and it hurt.

I stuck cuttings from thorny plants (berberis, I think) around and between my strawberry plants in the days when I had a strawberry bed.

I use citrus peel on the veg patch as well as netting( when newly planted) to prevent cats. If they get through and poop I remove with a trowel and bury under hedge (poop not cats!)