Any other grandparents care for their grandkids

Definitely not . If your grand daughter is 15 surely it won't be for very long ? You should Definitely get the family allowance for her at least and probably other financial help..it's wonderful that you're helping in this way be don't be left short . You need to check thecorrect allowances are being paid to you .

My 16 year old granddaughter did the same thing, last year, after a row with her mum (my daughter). Only lasted for a couple of days, because mother and daughter patched things up,
You’re not a bad person at all. Ofcourse, you can’t go on looking after her- you’ve brought up your children, you’ve done your bit. I don’t know what the procedure is, since your GD is only 15. Someone with more knowledge and experience will come along soon, with more help and advice. Good luck !

Of course you're not a bad person because you feel resentful.

It's quite kind that you keep her, really.

We'd not like taking on a 15 year old, we're done raising children. Naturally we'd do what needed doing, as we still are with one of our daughters - we're happily awaiting her not needing our help.

Is there any chance of family counselling with www.relate.org.uk/ as they do families as well as couples. Getting them both to understand each other is the best outcome. They need strategies for handling conflict when this arises, so they can stay calm, consider the situation and discuss it before flying off the handle. That way they can learn to live with each other.

Your daughter needs to step up as a parent ...and I say that as a parent who went through several seriously nightmare teenage years with one of my children. I think you need to discuss this with your daughter regarding what you can and can't do, time scales etc. If she didn't have you as a back up her daughter might have ended up in a very difficult situation, happens to too many teenagers. You cannot be her solution!

Of course you are not a bad person and your feelings are totally understandable but this youngster is obviously feeling totally adrift and she chose you to run to so she knows you are someone she can depend on .We have our 15 year old granddaughter living with us and it really isn’t too difficult. It is an age when they can do a lot of things independently either with friends or alone and (sadly) they spend a lot of time in their rooms with their mobile phones.It may be for quite a short time but if she is in for the long haul you may find her quite good company in the future.Presumably she is doing GCSE this year so she does need some stability right now. Thinking of you.

Why is she living with you?
Why is she not allowed to go back to the mother's home?

Where is the father in all this?

You are far from a bad person. You are sheltering your grandchild, even though her parents foolishly think they get to abdicate responsibility for the person they made.

You need to tell your daughter that she needs a plan to take back her child. It’s not a choice she gets to make. She gave birth to the girl, and until such time that the child is no longer a minor she will have to deal with this situation.

I would ask for a hard end date to this arrangement, provided it is in the very near future. I would then inform your daughter that you will get social services involved if she gives you any pushback at all, or if her end date is too far in the future. Until that date, give the parents an amount they absolutely must contribute toward her upkeep until they take her back. The absolute gall of them to think they neither have to raise nor financially support their own child. It’s appalling. Teenagers are hard to deal with. You don’t get to be a parent only when things are easy.

As an aside, the fact that your daughter and this child’s father think they get to give up on parenting when the going gets tough should give a bit of insight as to why the girl ran away in the first place. Suggest family counseling. They need professional help get them in a better place. The message cannot be sent parents can give up on underage children. This period in your granddaughters life may be a simple rough patch, or can be the foundation for troubled interpersonal adult relationships. The outcome depends on how her parents handle it. But let them handle it! They must sort out their family issues.

You should be reimbursed financially and gd should be encouraged to help you within the household too with chores.
Lots of love and compassion but no easy ride.

Op

What rights do you have to make decisions on behalf of your gd?

She is a minor

Cannot comment more w/o additional details

Hithere

Op

What rights do you have to make decisions on behalf of your gd?

She is a minor

Cannot comment more w/o additional details

What right do you have to ask for additional details in such a rude manner? She does not need to hand over any more details than she wishes to.

you may be getting yourself into a legal minefield.
the parents cannot just abdicate responsibility.
contact social services asap.

I agree with welbeck - social services can sort out a solution. Of course, we help out in an emergency - but how dare her mother assume that you'll take her in, at your expense? Maybe her mum will wake up and take responsibility when ss become involved?

Daughter should step up.

It doesn't make you a bad person at all. We had our GS living with us for two years and still now have to look after him for a considerable amount of time. It's not really how I saw this period of my life panning out - but it's what families do. They step in when needs must - and when there is no alternative.

A difficult time Jodyjay4 I can understand your feelings as it seems your granddaughter 's parents have abdicated all responsibility for her. What a relief for her that you could help. You should look to getting some professional help with this, money to help support her and advice/counselling to enable her to return home.
I wish you both well.

Hithere

Op

What rights do you have to make decisions on behalf of your gd?

She is a minor

Cannot comment more w/o additional details

You are SO rude 🙄

The mother will retain PR for her DD ....I would have imagined school would have referred to childrens services? Even early help support...maybe that would be a starting point ? But mum would need to consent

I don't mean to be rude

The rights to make decisions on behalf of the minor - what if OP needs to take her to the hospital for a medical issue?

Could she make that life saving decision to save gd's life or hospital has to call her mother?

Chestnut
I think some people forget that this is a public forum.

Hithere What rights do you have to make decisions on behalf of your gd? She is a minor. Cannot comment more w/o additional details

Louisa1523 You are SO rude

I dont think Hithere is meaning to be rude. I agree her comments and questions could be worded better but she does have a point. Making decisions regarding a minor can be a minefield and this arrangement appears to be without things like that being taken into account.

Hithere perhaps explaining your thinking woukd be helpful to the OP?

Hithere

I don't mean to be rude

The rights to make decisions on behalf of the minor - what if OP needs to take her to the hospital for a medical issue?

Could she make that life saving decision to save gd's life or hospital has to call her mother?

Oh so sorry Hithere I posted my last post before I saw this post of yours.

Hithere

I don't mean to be rude

The rights to make decisions on behalf of the minor - what if OP needs to take her to the hospital for a medical issue?

Could she make that life saving decision to save gd's life or hospital has to call her mother?

I read Hithere's questions as more rhetorical: suggesting that these issues rightly need considering, and soon.

This granddaughter is a minor and Jodyjay4 is not her next of kin.