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Engagement Party and then Hen Party

(35 Posts)
NanKate Sun 16-Aug-26 08:46:21

I got engaged in 1969 and married in 1971. I never had an engagement party (my parents didn’t approve of my choice, we have now been happily married for almost 55 years). Nor did I have a Hen Party. Lack of finances was one reason.

Nowadays things are very different.

What about you ?

Aveline Sun 16-Aug-26 08:48:45

I had neither. Engagement was pretty low key and I had professional exams up until 4pm the day before the wedding.

Witzend Sun 16-Aug-26 08:53:18

No engagement party, we didn’t get engaged as such, just set a date. In fact I’d have quite liked an engagement ring, but at the time (1974) dh thought ‘getting engaged’ was desperately uncool!

No hen or stag either - dh was working abroad, was back on leave for the ‘decision’, and the wedding. I followed him a month later.

However he bought me a lovely ring right after the birth of dd2, which meant a lot more to me.

Iam64 Sun 16-Aug-26 09:09:56

We didn’t do engagement, hen or stag parties. Our adult children did all these things, also baby showers. Many of their big friendship group were forty last year, this year our younger daughter’s gang are forty. Big celebrations. They enjoy a party 💖

tanith Sun 16-Aug-26 10:29:28

No engagement party and hen/stag parties weren't a thing then were they? We

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:39:47

we had an engagement party at y Mums house, family only
no hen or stag and only a very small wedding party a few wees after we married

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:40:36

I'm really sorry there is something wrong with the K on my keyboard

Aveline Sun 16-Aug-26 10:51:44

Maybe you were a bit nervous Jane judge grin

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:54:12

Aveline

Maybe you were a bit nervous Jane judge grin

grin

SpinDriftCoastal Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:00

Had a hen do with three best friends. Very handsome male cousin from Oz asked if he could join us and did all the driving. He drove us from bar to bar and a night drive around the beautiful countryside where I grew up. One of my friends fell head over heels for him, but, he was already taken. She still asked after him 45 years later!

1summer Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:41

For my engagement we went with my parents and Mother in Law to a local restaurant. Initially my parents didn’t approve of my choice but grew to love him very much.
I had a lovely hen party, about 8 of us went to a cocktail bar at a local hotel then a wine bar for food and drink.
I wore very uncomfortable new shoes and my feet were bleeding by the time I got home!

JenniRen Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:50

No engagement party, no hen party.
My future husband's best man took him out for drinks the night before the wedding and he was a bit shaky on the day itself.

M0nica Sun 16-Aug-26 10:58:59

It never occurred to either DH and I or our parents to do either. DH did not even bother to have a stag do, not even an evening out with his best man.

It was a quiet family wedding, and despite several people's suspicions at the time, this was not because I was pregnant.

paddyann54 Sun 16-Aug-26 11:22:03

No engagement party ,we got engaged at Christmas ,married 7 months later …we wanted to just get married in January but both sets of parents insisted on an engagement ring and a summer wedding .
He was 19 and I was 20 and in those days well in our family anyway parents were still in charge .
They organised most of the wedding and we just picked invitations and our clothes.
We had two show of presents for the female friends neighbours and relatives .One at my family home and one at his 40 miles away .
I doubt a show of presents is a thing anymore .
My OH had a night out with his best man and friends .
Had his first hangover the next day.

NotSpaghetti Sun 16-Aug-26 11:48:33

I didn't even consider an engagement party or a hen do.
Most people didn't do either when we were married anyway.
However they weren't (and aren't) something I'd want anyway.

I think I felt the engagement and wedding was really just for us.

It didn't mean I actually "got away" with a "just for us" wedding though...
With family in the rag trade, and me as a daughter and only child, l the wedding was quite fancy.

I was married whilst at university so we squashed in our honeymoon between a field trip and the start of the next academic year!
Happy days.

sodapop Sun 16-Aug-26 13:09:15

We had a quiet family wedding too, unlike MOnica I was pregnant. Hen parties were not really a thing then.

Jane43 Sun 16-Aug-26 13:23:15

Engaged on my 21st in 1964, no engagement party I don’t think they were common then; married in 1965, no hen party or stag do, it wasn’t our thing and they weren’t that common. My parents paid for our wedding reception. Also no gender reveal parties for our two sons, they were unheard of then, but we did have a family christening party for both sons for family and friends at our house, we did all the catering ourselves.

Casdon Sun 16-Aug-26 13:31:27

I had both, an engagement party which was at my fiancé’s house, and a hen party, which was at the local Greek restaurant. I got married in the 1980s.

Visgir1 Sun 16-Aug-26 13:54:07

We just decided to get married, no engagement, no Ring, that came years later.

My now DH I knew but only casually, I got to know him better a few weeks before he went on a long deployment in the Navy, About 5 months later he phoned me, we agreed to catch up. I decided he was worth seeing again, that was the February... September same year we married 1984.
So no Engagement party, but I had a Hen night out with my girl friends, that's another story!

Yes, I had a Baby shower it was just a lunchtime event in work where I recieved lots of baby gifts, this was in 1988, same again in 1992.

JenniferEccles Sun 16-Aug-26 14:22:59

In some families it appears that hen parties are more trouble than they’re worth.

I’m thinking of Adam Peaty’s poor mother who wasn’t invited to her son’s fiancée’s hen do leading to bad feelings all round.

Maggiemaybe Sun 16-Aug-26 15:34:29

No engagement do or ring either, they both seemed a bit old-fashioned to us in the mid 70s (I do regret now not having a ring though grin). We’d been living together for a couple of years so just set a date. I did have a hen do with a group of friends - the first wine bar in the area had just opened so we sat and drank wine for an hour or so, feeling ever so sophisticated. Then on to a local disco. DH went on a pub crawl round town on the same night. How times have changed though - we don’t have a single photo!

Cossy Sun 16-Aug-26 15:35:52

Nope, neither, nor did I want either.

BlueBelle Sun 16-Aug-26 15:41:32

No, no parties for any of it, no hen dos, no engagement parties no gender reveals, no nothing but it was the early 60 s and we had no money anyway.
Only lasted 12 years so no divorce party either, although I do remember getting through a whole packet of ten on that day. Stop smoking 50 years ago now haha

Astitchintime Sun 16-Aug-26 15:45:43

No engagement party because we never actually got engaged. No hen night before the wedding as I was never encouraged to go out with girl friends or my sister…….I guess the writing was on the wall, shame it took me decades to actually read it. Now, I go where I want, when I want!

kittylester Sun 16-Aug-26 15:49:06

DH asked me to marry him and bought a ring and then he asked my father's permission. No party but it was announced in the paper.

DH had a stag do with his younger brother and a group of old school friends. I don't think hen dos were a thing.

This was 1970.