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Engagement Party and then Hen Party

(31 Posts)
NanKate Sun 16-Aug-26 08:46:21

I got engaged in 1969 and married in 1971. I never had an engagement party (my parents didn’t approve of my choice, we have now been happily married for almost 55 years). Nor did I have a Hen Party. Lack of finances was one reason.

Nowadays things are very different.

What about you ?

JamesandJon33 Sun 16-Aug-26 17:12:41

No engagement party and hen parties were unheard of. Both would have been seen by my parents as a waste of money.

TwiceAsNice Sun 16-Aug-26 16:56:32

Didn’t have an engagement party we were both in training for our jobs and couldn’t afford one.

My “hen party” was a meal in a local pub for me and some friends. One girl got drunk enough to pick flowers for me from someone’s garden on the way home. I wasn’t as drunk as her but not sober enough to not accept them/tell her off

Mischief13 Sun 16-Aug-26 15:58:04

I didn't have an engagement party but got a very nice ring. I had my hen party at FuFus palace in Manchester and my husband had his stag do at Tiffanys.Engaged for 12 months and then quite a big wedding. No baby showers.

Gingster Sun 16-Aug-26 15:54:05

Engagement part in mum and dad’s house with family and friends. 1968

An evening in the pub in London with all my girl friends .Hen do . Drinks and dancing the night away.
Dh was in a pub round the corner with all his mates. Stag do.

A fairly big wedding (for those days) in a hall with sit down meal and reception. 1971
No honeymoon. Couldn’t afford one as we’d bought our own little two up and two down cottage. We were 20 and 21.
So very young!. Been together since we were 16.

ViceVersa Sun 16-Aug-26 15:53:20

I didn't have an engagement party and as for a hen do, I just went out for a meal with my two bridesmaids. My daughter didn't have either, as she had a 'secret' wedding abroad, attended only by her father and I. They did have a 'reception' for family and friends at home later, but it was a small, friendly affair at a local social club.

kittylester Sun 16-Aug-26 15:49:06

DH asked me to marry him and bought a ring and then he asked my father's permission. No party but it was announced in the paper.

DH had a stag do with his younger brother and a group of old school friends. I don't think hen dos were a thing.

This was 1970.

Astitchintime Sun 16-Aug-26 15:45:43

No engagement party because we never actually got engaged. No hen night before the wedding as I was never encouraged to go out with girl friends or my sister…….I guess the writing was on the wall, shame it took me decades to actually read it. Now, I go where I want, when I want!

BlueBelle Sun 16-Aug-26 15:41:32

No, no parties for any of it, no hen dos, no engagement parties no gender reveals, no nothing but it was the early 60 s and we had no money anyway.
Only lasted 12 years so no divorce party either, although I do remember getting through a whole packet of ten on that day. Stop smoking 50 years ago now haha

Cossy Sun 16-Aug-26 15:35:52

Nope, neither, nor did I want either.

Maggiemaybe Sun 16-Aug-26 15:34:29

No engagement do or ring either, they both seemed a bit old-fashioned to us in the mid 70s (I do regret now not having a ring though grin). We’d been living together for a couple of years so just set a date. I did have a hen do with a group of friends - the first wine bar in the area had just opened so we sat and drank wine for an hour or so, feeling ever so sophisticated. Then on to a local disco. DH went on a pub crawl round town on the same night. How times have changed though - we don’t have a single photo!

JenniferEccles Sun 16-Aug-26 14:22:59

In some families it appears that hen parties are more trouble than they’re worth.

I’m thinking of Adam Peaty’s poor mother who wasn’t invited to her son’s fiancée’s hen do leading to bad feelings all round.

Visgir1 Sun 16-Aug-26 13:54:07

We just decided to get married, no engagement, no Ring, that came years later.

My now DH I knew but only casually, I got to know him better a few weeks before he went on a long deployment in the Navy, About 5 months later he phoned me, we agreed to catch up. I decided he was worth seeing again, that was the February... September same year we married 1984.
So no Engagement party, but I had a Hen night out with my girl friends, that's another story!

Yes, I had a Baby shower it was just a lunchtime event in work where I recieved lots of baby gifts, this was in 1988, same again in 1992.

Casdon Sun 16-Aug-26 13:31:27

I had both, an engagement party which was at my fiancé’s house, and a hen party, which was at the local Greek restaurant. I got married in the 1980s.

Jane43 Sun 16-Aug-26 13:23:15

Engaged on my 21st in 1964, no engagement party I don’t think they were common then; married in 1965, no hen party or stag do, it wasn’t our thing and they weren’t that common. My parents paid for our wedding reception. Also no gender reveal parties for our two sons, they were unheard of then, but we did have a family christening party for both sons for family and friends at our house, we did all the catering ourselves.

sodapop Sun 16-Aug-26 13:09:15

We had a quiet family wedding too, unlike MOnica I was pregnant. Hen parties were not really a thing then.

NotSpaghetti Sun 16-Aug-26 11:48:33

I didn't even consider an engagement party or a hen do.
Most people didn't do either when we were married anyway.
However they weren't (and aren't) something I'd want anyway.

I think I felt the engagement and wedding was really just for us.

It didn't mean I actually "got away" with a "just for us" wedding though...
With family in the rag trade, and me as a daughter and only child, l the wedding was quite fancy.

I was married whilst at university so we squashed in our honeymoon between a field trip and the start of the next academic year!
Happy days.

paddyann54 Sun 16-Aug-26 11:22:03

No engagement party ,we got engaged at Christmas ,married 7 months later …we wanted to just get married in January but both sets of parents insisted on an engagement ring and a summer wedding .
He was 19 and I was 20 and in those days well in our family anyway parents were still in charge .
They organised most of the wedding and we just picked invitations and our clothes.
We had two show of presents for the female friends neighbours and relatives .One at my family home and one at his 40 miles away .
I doubt a show of presents is a thing anymore .
My OH had a night out with his best man and friends .
Had his first hangover the next day.

M0nica Sun 16-Aug-26 10:58:59

It never occurred to either DH and I or our parents to do either. DH did not even bother to have a stag do, not even an evening out with his best man.

It was a quiet family wedding, and despite several people's suspicions at the time, this was not because I was pregnant.

JenniRen Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:50

No engagement party, no hen party.
My future husband's best man took him out for drinks the night before the wedding and he was a bit shaky on the day itself.

1summer Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:41

For my engagement we went with my parents and Mother in Law to a local restaurant. Initially my parents didn’t approve of my choice but grew to love him very much.
I had a lovely hen party, about 8 of us went to a cocktail bar at a local hotel then a wine bar for food and drink.
I wore very uncomfortable new shoes and my feet were bleeding by the time I got home!

SpinDriftCoastal Sun 16-Aug-26 10:55:00

Had a hen do with three best friends. Very handsome male cousin from Oz asked if he could join us and did all the driving. He drove us from bar to bar and a night drive around the beautiful countryside where I grew up. One of my friends fell head over heels for him, but, he was already taken. She still asked after him 45 years later!

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:54:12

Aveline

Maybe you were a bit nervous Jane judge grin

grin

Aveline Sun 16-Aug-26 10:51:44

Maybe you were a bit nervous Jane judge grin

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:40:36

I'm really sorry there is something wrong with the K on my keyboard

JaneJudge Sun 16-Aug-26 10:39:47

we had an engagement party at y Mums house, family only
no hen or stag and only a very small wedding party a few wees after we married