Engagement Party and then Hen Party

No - neither . 51 yrs ago

Parents were not interested, spent everything on my sister.

No engagement or hen party, wedding organised by his mother.

I was 19 he was 20, but we are 54 years in.

First marriage, no engagement party but I did have a hen night at Cinderella Rockerfella in Leeds Merrion Centre with a few girlfriends. Marriage lasted 6 years.
Second time, didn’t get engaged or have a hen night but we’ve been happily married 38 years.

We did get engaged, but there was no party and no hen or stag do either. We had very little money. Mum masterminded the whole wedding and told us how many friends we were allowed to invite. I dont remember being very bothered. We were mainly interested in leaving as soon as it was decent to do so and going off in our Morris 1000 (bought second hand for 50 quid) to Scotland.

Neither. 😱

Sorry for two messages, I thought I’d accidentally deleted the first one 🙄

when we got engaged we had a party at my parents house. The week before we got married was my hens night, work mates dressed me up, walked me home stopped the traffic so I could jump over a potty filled with. salt, tin of talc ,nappy pins baby's dummies, in the middle of the main street..this was 1960's. don't think it's heard of now...probably a health and safety issue now..

We were art students in the 70s and skint like most people were at the time. No parties but a lovely country wedding in my parents garden, then dancing in the pub with all our mates. My wedding ring was old Victorian, very pretty, and we chose it from a cardboard box at the Victoria Station Lost Property office. It cost 10/- (50p) I loved it and wore it until my hands developed arthritis, then had it cut off by the local fire brigade!

We were art students in the 70s - mostly skint like a lot of people were at the time! No parties but a lovely wedding organised by my parents in the garden of their country home. Then dancing at the local pub. The ring was an old Victorian one which we picked out of a cardboard box at Victoria Station Lost Property. I loved it and wore it until a few years ago when my hand got too arthritisy and had to get it cut off at the fire station!

Married after six months of meeting in 1977, no hen or engagement parties, 13 including us at wedding 1 night in a hotel reception at the in-laws house
Still married

Today life is a competition, who can outdo who, people are dumbing down

If you are part of a circle of close friends and there are hen parties and weddings in rather quick succession - doesn't this become a tad expensive?

I remember reading about a spat between one friend of a bride to be who was expected to attend the hen party - abroad - being chastised because she said she couldn't afford it, and she'd also used up all her work holiday allowance meaning she would have to take unpaid leave. IIRC, her own wedding was on the horizon too, so she probably could've done without this extra expense.

Parties, hen/stag events, and weddings are now so commoditised (and IMO somewhat devalued in the process) that doing-it-yourself might possibly make a come-back as the cost of living soars.

Married at52 Didnt have an engagement party got married 12weeks later I had 2 hen parties one with local friends and neighbours at home snd one with Irish friends Moh and I travelled there

Didn't have an engagement let alone a ring or party! We'd been living together for over a year and been together for 2 years. We were talking about having children and were trying for a baby. He didn't believe in unmarried parents I didn't care about that. When I got pregnant he met me at his mum's house after work.
The proposal:-
He said " What are you doing in 3 Saturdays time?"
Me "Nothing special why?
Him pointing to his mum's calendar " Don't make any arrangements as we're getting married on ...
Me "No"
Him "it's all booked"
No proposal, no ring, nothing.
I said no because we had both been married before and it hadn't worked out. I was very happy living with him and didn't want it to change like it had with my first marriage.
But I did marry him and we've been together ever since. I was 23 then.

Engagement party was huge. We worked for the NHS and Police. Loads of colleagues. Also involved in voluntary organisations, loads of friends. Hen and stag parties were a few friends out for a meal a week before the wedding. Wedding party similar to engagement party. All paid for by us but done on a budget courtesy of colleagues and friends.

No engagement parties, no hen do's and no honeymoons either! I married twice, only the actual weddings. In hindsight I feel a bit miffed about no honeymoons with either of them, lol 😆

Sarnia Same here!

Damn! FGS lets have an edit option! That went before I intended it to. I stuck it for 25 years, far far too long. He was a control freak. I was glad to be out of it.

We met in 1969, got engaged in 1970, married in 1971. Didn't have an engagement party. I just had my two friends who were bridesmaids round the night before, not my future sister-in-law who was also bridesmaid, that was my hen night! No party. Better nowadays when people have a hen party well before the wedding day, especially if people drink too much and ruin the day! They do go really over the top though going abroad etc. Crazy when you think of the cost of most weddings. I was 18 when we met and he was 22. Married at 20 and 24. As Les Dawson said "I remember my wedding as if it was only yesterday. I wish it was tomorrow, I'd cancel it!"

paddyann54 Never heard of a show of presents. What a faff!

I didn't have an engagement party or hen night, although I did take some sparkling wine into work for everyone to share.

People can do what they want as far as l am concerned. But l think a lot of parties these days can be about anything really.

And the need to impress and brag.
Don't sene to able to think for themselves. Sheep like, very impressionable Follow the leader

Plus they are very influenced by American ideas on what and how to celebrate. Usually based around making money.

No engagement party or hen party for me. My ex did have a stag but it wasn't a huge jolly to Ibiza as seems to be the way of things these days. It was a few friends for drinks down the pub and I seem to remeber he suffered afterwards as he wasn't used to getting drunk!
My DiL had a hen do and it was lovely Her mum and I were invited, along with lots of her friends for a weekend at her chief bridesmaid's family home. Her dad was a vicar so she arranged use of the church hall for the youngsters to sleep on airbeds while DiL's mum and I stayed in the vicarage! We played daft games, made bunting for the wedding and went out for a meal at a local restaurant. Agsin no excessive spending on a foreign trip, just a fun time getting to know her friends.

It was always referred to as a ‘spinster night’ down our neck of the woods. Sisters and friends went on a pub crawl for mine (1975)

Engaged in 1970 - I didn’t even know engagement parties existed.
Yes, I did have a hen party. My girlfriends and I (definitely no older generation) went to our favourite pub and had a few drinks.
Too many brides plan so much before the wedding and spend so much as well. They seem to have lost sight of what the wedding itself means.