Don't like surprises 😒

I’m the same, and it’s so sad, but I loathe surprises of all types!

No, you’re not being unreasonable, but it is a very lovely and kind gesture from your DH. However, after all these years you’d think he’d know you slightly better.

I am not a lover of surprises either but I do often get sick of making all the decisions and planning everything.

Just go with it, it may turn out to be one of the best breaks you have had.

I would go.

And at some point politely tell your friend that you want time alone.
If she is a good friend, she will understand.

Thinking about it, you may want to tell her before you go.
So she can pack accordingly - books, puzzles, walking boots, whatever.

Surprises like that can be tricky. I wouldn't be keen.
Any chance it can be cancelled? You may lose the deposit if the date is close.
Just say you'd like a 2 night stay in a hotel, which may not cost as much, so a possibility of making up the potential loss of deposit.
He should understand that you don't like to be rushed into a choice that you wouldn't enjoy.

I would gently tell him that you don't want to go. It's seems he meant well but he should have asked you before booking. If the object of the exercise is to destress then going with a friend, no matter how close they are, isn't going to work. Your friend will want to chat, may not want you to do your crafting, wants to go out places when you would rather not.
Best all round to be honest. No offence meant to your DH or your friend but as you have been at everyone's beck and call, it's time for you to have a few days of exactly what YOU would like.

Sago

I am not a lover of surprises either but I do often get sick of making all the decisions and planning everything.

Just go with it, it may turn out to be one of the best breaks you have had.

It’s a real lose, lose, isn’t it. 🤣😂🤣😂

Sarnia

I would gently tell him that you don't want to go. It's seems he meant well but he should have asked you before booking. If the object of the exercise is to destress then going with a friend, no matter how close they are, isn't going to work. Your friend will want to chat, may not want you to do your crafting, wants to go out places when you would rather not.
Best all round to be honest. No offence meant to your DH or your friend but as you have been at everyone's beck and call, it's time for you to have a few days of exactly what YOU would like.

Yes!! 👏👏👏👏

You're not being unreasonable.
Yes, it was very kind of your husband to book a short holiday for you but it's not the holiday YOU would have chosen.
I think you should explain how you feel, say what you have said on GN.
Also, it's too far away! Driving is stressful. You don't need that.
Book yourself a break no more than a hour or so away from home, somewhere where you don't need to do anything.
The last thing you need is shopping and cooking in a self catering cottage.
I hope your husband will understand and that he can get a refund for any money paid for the cottage break.

Can’t your husband go with you instead?

Cossy

No, you’re not being unreasonable, but it is a very lovely and kind gesture from your DH. However, after all these years you’d think he’d know you slightly better.

Cossy after all these years you’d think he’d know you slightly better Don't you believe it!

I also hate surprises and are you just exchanging kitchen sinks? I wouldn't go as it is so far away and in the middle of nowhere. A couple of days in a hotel. food served and maybe a spa etc sounds better.

Your husband should have asked you first and know you better. Tell him to go himself!

Your DH is a star for trying to help you but he got it wrong. Gently let him know that you love him for doing this but is not what you want right now, as others have said he may be able to get a refund.
Then let him know how he can help you.
Sometimes it isn’t all about knowing someone enough to be able to do right thing, we can all get it wrong, and am sure he is panicking because you are under so much pressure. At least he tried. There are some who wouldn’t give it a second thought.

What a surprise - husbands don't always listen or understand their wives. Gently tell him that this is not what you want, please cancel.

You'll have more opportunity to sew in a cottage than a hotel. I'd go and see how it pans out

I would hate this and would struggle a lot with it.
Tell him kindly that you know it comes from a place of love but you don't want to go.

If he can't get a refund I'd suggest your friend goes and takes someone else.
A true friend would understand... but maybe they should have known you wouldn't fancy it.

My children organised a party for our 25th wedding anniversary.
I just wanted a quiet meal somewhere lovely with my wonderful husband.
That came from a place of love too...

My children (and friends) know I like to organise "events" and find the planning interesting and challenging (even exciting?)...
They got this one wrong.
😕
I was not very gracious when I was told (to my shame) - and though I later was nice to guests etc I did not enjoy it.

In your case, gentle honesty is best.

I too can’t bear surprises but how lovely of your husband to be so thoughtful and obviously thinking you d have a lovely time with your friend
Why not have both 4 days with your friend and three days in your solitary lovely place That’s only a week out of your life and maybe everyone will be happy

I wouldn’t like this, as I too am not keen on surprises. But I would go. You never know it might be marvellous.
But the real reason I would go is that I would be deeply grateful I had such a thoughtful ( if wrong) husband. At least he tried.There are not that many of those around I have noticed, amongst my friends.

Is there a cancellation policy? Many bookings give you the option of cancelling up to a certain number of days before the arrival date. If yes, you could ask your DH to cancel this break and let you arrange something you'd rather do.
Impertinent questions now, sorry: Why is your friend going with you and not your DH? Did (s)he agree to go before or after he booked it, and why didn't she consult you? It all sounds rather insensitive, so no, I don't think you're being unreasonable.
If you really can't get out of going, then I suggest that you grin and bear it. You don't have to like it, if it's not what you want, but you can get through it. Whether you tell him never to do anything like that to you again is up to you, I couldn't possibly stick my oar into that pond!

You’re not being unreasonable at all. A few days, not too far away, in an hotel to unwind and just do whatever you fancy doing is certainly not the same as 4 days with a friend 4 hours’ drive away. I would tell him.

Must largely depend on the friend and the place. Is there some point to this particular place? And does the friend know about it?
It’s a lovely idea and so kind. Could you keep to those same four days but renegeotiate the cottage into somewhere closer just for you?

You want to be on your own in a little hotel somewhere not too far away with your crafting stuff. This is how you put it.
Am assuming that throwing a friend into the mix will not be relaxing, and with such a big family whom you help out with childcare etc., this makes perfect sense. Being alone will be the perfect rest.
So hopefully once your DH has been able to cancel his well intentioned booking and hopefully recoup some money, just tell him this and arrange it yourself.