Thankyou for all of the supportive comments in response to my quandary.
I have spoken with my DH, explained that this gesture, however lovely, however thoughtful, is sending my anxiety sky-high. I know he was only thinking of me & thought he was doing the right thing. Hadn't realised adding a friend into the mix would turn everything on its head. He offered to phone my friend, explain that things hadn't quite gone as expected & was planning to cancel, lo & behold before that opportunity arose, the said friend phoned him, to confirm arrangements & stating just how excited she was feeling about the upcoming break
He couldn't, and neither could I, bring her down with an almighty thud.
So, instead we've slightly altered the plans & my DH is going to join us a couple of days later.
DH has promised he will arrange another break for me another time as he feels so guilty for getting it wrong.
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