I’ve worked in the same job for the last 30 years, I’m 55 and I’ve always thought I’d retire at 60. I work in a healthcare environment and I can honestly say that for the last 29 years I’ve loved my job. For the last year or so I’ve struggled mainly due to the dynamics within the workplace, but also being unhappy in my personal life. I finally spoke to my GP in early December and she suggested I needed to take sometime off work as I sounded burnt out and she also prescribed me some antidepressants. I spoke with my assistant a couple of days after seeing my GP and confided to her that I might need to take a few weeks off work to try to feel better, to my absolute horror she stated that if I go off sick she will also ask to be signed off sick with stress. Faced with this scenario I declined my GPs offer of sick leave and I have just been battling on but I’m now feeling resentful and knackered and I feel my only option is to resign from my job. Part of me feels that if I could have a good rest I’d be able to go back to loving the job but if both myself and my assistant are absent I don’t know what I’ll go back to. I know that this makes my assistant sound like a bad person, she really isn’t but we have some very difficult staff who don’t respect her as being in charge when I’m not there and I can see that she feels she wouldn’t cope. The pandemic has been very hard on the health sector but doesn’t have any bearing on the team dynamics, I just have a bunch of very bitchy 50 something women who form our small team. I feel that my job is my identity and if I didn’t work I’m not sure that I’d know who I am. I have always been very emotionally invested in my work and manage the business as if it were my own.
Sorry to say this LibbyR but nobody is indispensable, take your sick leave as advised by your Dr. It is down to your managers to support your assistant or put in a temporary replacement. You should not resign, you have already put in a lot of service and should not lose the benefits of this. Hope things get better for you soon.
Take the time off! Take it soon! The Doctors will manage. It's not for you to Nanny them. Take the time before your assistant does & muddies the water. It's not your problem what issues she has with staff. Like someone up list has said, if you resign after 3 weeks nobody will remember you! No-one is indespensible. You need the rest & head space. Life's too short.
Take time off reevaluate and don’t give in to your assistant. That’s blackmail. You’ve said yourself your job is who you are don’t give it up until you have thought things out. A little time away and then you’ll know exactly what you want to do. Sending you virtual hugs.
Think of yourself, take time out, as your GP has advised, I wouldn’t resign, but you are saying you are battling on but you are feeling resentful and battered, listen to your body
I just thought I’d update you - after a long hard period of deliberation I decided that retirement was my best option. I feel sad that I’ve given up and a bit let down by the partners however as someone said, none of us are indispensable. I have given a very long notice period and will be training up my replacement so can leave with a clear conscience. Roll on September! I will have the rest of the year off and if I decide retirement isn’t for me I will get a part time job or sign up with an agency so I can pick and choose when I work. I feel so much better for having made a decision and I really appreciated the different points of view from everyone who took the time to read my post and to comment, thank you all. From September I’m sure I’ll be contributing more to the forum. At the moment I read and run most of the time as I’m so pushed for time.
If I were you I would do as your Dr. suggests and go off sick. When you have your sickness certificate I would tell the doctors you are now on sick leave and say that you are concerned because unfortunately your assistant is not up to standing in for you. They might want to advertise for a temporary manager but that's really up to them because what happens in your absence should not be be your concern. You need to concentrate on getting better. If after a period of leave you decide to return and you don't like it you could apply elsewhere or take retirement.
Am in a similar situation Libby R...I've a line manager who has belittled my work product which is untrue as had to learn new IT system while at home on lockdown and had no real support when requested..this has triggered my anxiety into panic mode and now signed off with depression...turned 65 yesterday and have my weekly GP review on phone. later..feel bullied at work but this has been ongoing for months and management have failed to address this...you shouldn't feel you have to resign but i fully understand and empathise .. you need to do what YOU feel is the best for you..i have to stay another year as my pension pot was only started few years ago as have had multiple health probs and reduced my work hours to 21...hope you're ALL having a better day!
I am glad you are retiring from what you say your job has taken over your life and made you ill. I hope you enjoy your freedom goodluck?
Presumably you have a line manager. Can you not raise these issues with him/her - as your assistant is also experiencing difficulties, perhaps you could both talk to the manager? Concentrate on issues that are making your role difficult but it's probably better not to identify specific obstructive members of staff.
After 30 years of service, I don't think you should resign. Get signed off by your doctor and hopefully the break - along with some support from management to deal with the difficulties you are encountering - will enable you to continue.
If, after your break, you feel the job is still just too stressful, start looking for something else or, if you can afford it, just leave.
My husband recently resigned from his job too LibbyR and the difference in his mental health after just one month is astounding. He's set up his own business, which comes with completely different stresses, but now he's in control and it seems to me as if he's a different person; much more relaxed and so much happier.
oh good....seriously I read this "I feel that my job is my identity" and saw a HUGE red flag
LibbyR I've just read your update and am pleased that you now feel much more relaxed, having decided to resign. As you say, if you miss working you can always look for something else at your leisure and in a more confident frame of mind rather than try and fit in interviews round your current stressful job.
It's good that you have made your decision, and I am sure you will feel much better for doing so. Look forward to your retirement with much joy - plan for a few months total rest and relaxation. The idea of retiring is usually so much harder than the actuality of it.
I'm pleased you have made a decision and wish you the best of luck for the future. You sound a great employee who cares and it is their loss. X
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