Leaving work, possibly without notice

Are they likely to be amenable to “compassionate grounds”
Most employers would/should .
You have to prioritise and if (as I assume) you have valid reasons, only a skinflint would turn you down.
Or could you take sick leave or holiday leave?

No direct experience, but a woman where I used to work had to leave in a hurry. She was open with the firm as she had good reason to leave and there wasn't a problem. She returned to work with us a couple of years later.

They are only a very small company, so they don't pay sick leave. I think I can ask for 3 days compassionate leave, but obviously that won't be enough. I feel awful as I have taken on some overtime in the next two weeks as well, but family circumstances are overriding at the minute, and for the foreseeable future; some months, I would say.

YOu have to put your family first, and I hope they will be understanding.
If not, tough, it’s still family first.

Ah, thank you Maw. I'm a terrible coward about these things. I always want to do the 'right' thing by everyone, and end up making things worse.
Your words have helped.

Thank you too, dumpling. Hopefully they'll be understanding, I just have this awful feeling of letting them down.

Are you leaving for good? It sounds as though you are but I may be wrong and you would like to return to your job.
As I ran a small business I have experience with this problem from the other side and I would always appreciate knowing ASAP.
I can't say ,obviously, how they will take it but you have to be honest and you have to do what you have to do.

Honesty is the best policy. Just tell them straight out. If they don't like it, that's too bad because, like you, they don't have a choice in the matter. You have to do what you have to do. All the best

PS They can 'not like it' but still be sympathetic.

Pamela, I would say I will be leaving for good. Possibly I would work one day a week, if they would allow me, so that I could claim carers allowance still, but I'm not sure they will consider that, as they need someone to take on the hours I have been doing.

Thank you, baggs. I'm not expecting them to be too terrible to me about it, but I realise it leaves them in a real fix, since my job is caring for someone, with just 2 other staff in my particular work place.

You have to put family first - no question. Your employers have to take responsibility for sorting it out - it goes with the job of being boss.

It may be a bit inconvenient for your employers but if they cant understand your reasons they shouldn't be in the business they are in.
Thinking of you MA. Sending love and a big hug xx

It is ironic surely, any organisation which is in the business of “caring” and I include education, social work, NHS and private sector, should put care for its staff high on its priorities.
Teachers often got a sniff of disapproval in my experience, if they took time off to care for sick children (1 day was the entitlement, more than that “discretionary” ) and I once had to tie myself in knots and call in favours from all and sundry faced with a week of chickenpox!

I'm going to text my manager soon. I keep trying to think about when it would be best for her to receive the news which is going to spoil her weekend. Ugh!

MissA have been in a very similar situation I had to ring and explain regarding situation and leave immediately, holiday accrued was used in lieu of notice and added to compassionate leave , family comes first but when you are loyal to your colleagues and employer it leaves you feeling guilty

I feel sick at the thought, downtoearth all I can do is try to be as helpful as possible, if its possible. My stomach is in knots though!

MissA you are in an impossible situation trying to do the best you can and keeping your own emotions in check, my manager was very understanding, hopefully your employers would be able to put themselves in your situation and know you would not do this unless absolutely necessary...please PM me if I can be of any support to you

Family first, MissA, it will be fine. Your boss will understand. Ring quick and once it's done you will feel better. The best of luck to you.

Do it as soon as you possibly can. Explain the circumstances as fully as is reasonable.
They may make some sensible suggestions based on the circumstances. You haven't said exactly what they are, but it sounds as if a situation has suddenly arisen that needs you to be an almost full time carer for ? how long.

If you can - and I realise you may not be able to - leave everything as open as possible.
I would suggest not offering to work at all at first whilst you settle in to the new role at home - unexpected things are always cropping up.
But if you can take unpaid leave of absence, or be put on some sort of 'temporary / bank' type of register, you may be able to contact them in a month or two and say you can do some hours.
Good luck

You will probably find that they will be pleasant to you and cope with the situation.
Hope so, good luck.

I spoke to my manager yesterday. She was very nice, but I still have to give a months notice. Hoping i'll be able to honour it.

I think insisting on a month’s notice is harsh especially if you have only been in the job for a few months as you say. Not sure about the legal justification for it either but from what you say,if even “trying to honour your commitments for a week” is a struggle, then you need to be firm.

I'm not too sure about the legality of it either. I'm sure I'm still within the trial period.

If you can work a months notice then well and good but I was under the impression that you couldn't.
What happens if you can't. What sort of job do you have? Will you leave them in a really bad situation?
Realistically be reasonable, do what you can but at the end of the day what it the worst they can do to you?