The "A" Word

Luckily our DGS was diagnosed at nursery age, it makes all the difference.

Yes rose. It does mean strategies can be put in place early and his learning properly geared to his needs. Hope all goes well in the future.

I watched it, and so did my grandson's mother.
I asked her about it, and she said she could recognise lots of things in it that she could identify with. So could I. But there were other things that we thought odd, like the loud music.
I know they are all different, but that seemed strange.

S was diagnosed a year ago at 24. One primary teacher mentioned to me at a parent evening that X "had no friends other than a boy with mild learning difficulties" and that she thought they were an odd pairing (S is high functioning) other than that there was no mention all through school. We didn't suspect at all, we put his "oddities" down to just being him.
He plays his music loud

Sorry if the "oddities" reference offends anyone, it's just the term we use as a family. People with autism aren't odd I know.

Nina some people with ASD do have some odd behaviours but so do some neurotypicals! Its OK. Life can be complex enough around ASD without worrying about being politically correct! Relish the persons individual perspective in life. I've learned a lot from the independent thinking of people with Autism.

nina we are all different and it is the "oddities" (again if the expression offends, please forgive), make life the tapestry it is. What is so encouraging these days is that it is no longer "odd" to the different, and that differences are more accepted; programmes like this help in the understanding of them and how difficult some peoples lives can be.

I was at a show once, and a little boy was walking up and down the metal stairs stamping hisvfeet as he went. I noticed that hanging on the back of his seat was a set of ear defenders. When he turned round to face me he was wearing a t shirt with "I have Autism, what's your problem", written on the front in large letters. I thought it was a very good idea.

Thank you Lully things do get a little easier as he grows up, but puberty will be kicking in soon as well.It's one day at a time, but we do have some funny moments with him, so there is a lot of laughing.He has a joke book that he carries around and tells jokes to all and sundry.

I always remember something the specialist said to me when our son was young, and they were trying to find out what was wrong with him (we still do not know the cause all these years on) - he said "If everyone was like your son, then you and I would be the "different" people" It is an interesting view to take on life.

A lot of the techniques developed in special schools are now widely used in mainstream schools. There is usually an advisor to help.
The problems come as the child goes through the school. Not all teachers have the understanding and patience needed to teach a child on the autistic spectrum. They are also having to deal with a wide range of others in the class. My worry is that the child with special needs is always taught by the TA and has little teacher time.

I did go into a class once when the ASD child was in a desk at the back of the classroom facing the wall all day with a TA...she was very good, but I didn't think this was inclusion.

Life in a busy class can be very stressful for such a child.

I really don't like the idea of a t shirt rudely proclaiming the difficulty. Some theatres do have special performances for ASD children.

Enjoyed this programme although we have no experience of autism. I could not get over how different Lee Inglby looks since I last saw him as Bacchus in George Gently.

My grandson still has ear defenders at 14. He has learned to put his hands over his ears and have his hood up on top of them now.

His mother is a TA, also has her NQT status, but decided to apply for TA jobs so that she could spend more time teaching her son, who is hometaught. Inclusion did not work.
In fact all through mainstream primary he had a special place he could go to if the noise got too much for him. Facing the wall cuts out noise and visual distractions. It's not the child who wants inclusion; it's the education authorities.
His mother teaches one to one kids with autism who cannot cope with mainstream school and need time out before going back or into a special school.

I could identify with so much in the programme especially the exclusion from class parties. I don't know how mothers can be so cruel .Although my DD invites a crowd of boys to my DGS's party and puts so much effort into it with the result that they often say it is the best party they have ever been to, he is never invited back. The situation is made even sadder by the fact that his twin sister has loads of invitations as she is "normal".'It is so heart breaking when an eight year old asks when is he going to get a party invitation.

As in the drama, another thing that sets him apart is his lack of interest in football .He is much more interested in the science of the solar system or the plumbing of a toilet and would consider kicking a ball around to be a waste of time.

To be a bit more positive, he has joined the chess club at school and relates well to a few of the little girls who play. Perhaps they will invite him to their parties ! One can but hope

My grandson likes football more than anything.
His dad and a friend did a coaching course, and set up a team for all the boys who would love to be in the school teams because they enjoy football but are never chosen.
They lose regularly, but always have something positive to say about the match. I am sure the other parents in other teams think it's weird, or masochistic, but they really do enjoy it.
I think they would enjoy just having training sessions so they can play five, six or seven aside against each other.

Just shows how different they are, Greenfinch.
I suppose my grandson's football obsession comes from his dad, like the boy's music obsession came from his dad. Although my son has guitars, and has bought his son one. They have a piano, and the parents both play, but my grandson shows no interest in music.

That's why a dedicated autism school is the best way ( not nearly enough of them though.)
Our DGS is lucky to be at one, it's marvellous, he can stay there until he is
18 thankfully. It's what happens when he is that age that we worry about,
No friends, more than likely no job either.

At least DGS is happy at school, no bullying and they are all different with different problems.He likes girls better than boys and the girls like him ( good looking slim boy.)He can't play in teams, but is very sporty so can run very fast, goes jogging with his Dad, plays golf (really well) with Dad, and also cycles with Dad .Jumps on his trampoline when feeling stressed, even in the rain.

That's another thing, roses. My grandson runs. He ran ten miles last weekend with his dad. He's now faster than his mum, so she prefers it if he goes with his dad.
But when he does a parkrun, he keeps with his dad until he sees the finish.
If his dad wants him to do a fast time, he will overtake him until he catches up, then put on another spurt and so on. When they get to the finish, his dad tells him who to overtake, and he does.
He is not competitive at all, but will do as he is told.

Interesting about the love of running isn't it? All anxieties seem to drop away.First realised he was so fast when he ran away aged three and wearing wellingtons, and we couldn't catch him, not at all, eventually he tired and sat on the verge and waited for us.That was on a main road, you can imagine how we felt as Grandparents in charge!

Physical activity is good for all children but it seems even more important for the autustic children.

I know what you mean, roses, about losing them.
We once lost him in the Railway Museum in York, when he was three, and not talking.
Fortunately we knew his path through the trains, so my husband just stayed where he was, in the cafe, in case he came back, and I ran round his track and eventually found him sitting on the bullet train watching the video. Couldn't tell him off, because he didn't know he had done anything wrong, but we made sure we held onto his hands after that, even though he did not like it.

GS1 is definitely not a team player. When he tried football he spent his time dancing on the sideline.

He is OK at school until he goes into sensory overload. Several times lately he has had a melt down and tried to escape from school. He must be a nightmare for them, but when he is working well he is brilliant. He's done some lovely work when given a subject he's interested in and was the star turn in the school play. Unfortunately this year has seen a succession of short term teachers and he has found the constant changes very difficult.

Even though my grandson plays in a football team, Deedaa, he's not a team player.
What's important to him is learning a skill and using it in a match.
The rest of the game does not matter so long as he can use a skill he has learnt and other people notice him and praise him for it - even at the age of 14.

Now my grandson really hates being noticed durhamjen it's one of the reasons he tries to escape from school. When I asked how he managed to be the centre of attention in the school play he said it was because he wasn't himself, he was acting someone else.

Does your grandson copy other people, Deedaa?

I was reading Michael Rosen's poetry with him to show that poetry could be about things that he could recognise. He was laughing about it just as we were reading it, so I looked him up on the internet, and there are a lot of you-tube videos of him reading his poetry. He has very scary eyes when he does it.
My grandson, over two weeks has learnt by heart about half a dozen of his poems, and acts them out at any opportunity. Unfortunately, he's got the scary eyes off perfectly, too. He particularly likes "No Breathing!"
And when we were making hot cross buns yesterday, he wanted to count all the raisins, as in "May".
He has even got his sister to watch with him - unheard of.
We walk down to school to the sounds of Michael Rosen eating chocolate cake.