Dementiaville

I'd have done the same as you jen.
One of the worst moments of my life was when I visited my mum in hospital after she had had a fall. Her memory loss had been getting progressively worse for over a year and she had been living with my sister mainly but sometimes staying with me for a few weeks.
She looked at me and said (very pleasantly) 'who are you? I haven't seen you before, have I?'
I couldn't stop myself bursting into floods of tears as I told her who I was, but one of the things I won't forget, amongst all the awful memories I have of the 18 months before her death, is the look of joy on her face as she did recognise me and remember. It seemed to bring her back to the real world, for a while anyway.

I haven't seen the programme and wouldn't like to generalise from my own limited experience, but one of the hardest things was that, as annsixty says, my mother had insight into her condition. She knew she was 'going batty' as she put it and found it terribly distressing.
The other thing was that she varied from day to day so much, sometimes she seemed to be able to make an effort and be more like her old self and at others, completely lost.

I would generally go along with the advice to inhabit the person's world, but to me each day seemed different for mum and I had to respond to her in a way which seemed right for her on that particular day.

Ann and Jen for you, and anyone else coping with this awful thing.

It is an awful condition, and can take different forms. I used to visit a lonely old lady, until one day she wouldn't let me in, saying I'd stolen from her. She stopped others from entering too, and soon after that was taken into a Care home.
On the other hand, another old lady I visited lived completely in the past, but seemed quite content with her happy memories, nothing upset her.
I agree, best to try to enter their world.

Annsixty that is so sad, especially when we get on a bit and are looking forward to companionship and instead cannot even have a meaningful conversation. So isolating. I hope you have friends or family to talk to.

Thank you all. One day when I'm more up to it I will write a blog telling just how it is. All these people, and I am pleased for them, who find it so rewarding to look after their loved ones are not in the same state of mind as me. I have just come in from the garden where he has lost his temper with the hose pipe!! I know he can't help it, I have been told so,many times , but it doesn't help me when I live with it 24 hours a day.
Oh that feels much better, I will think about lunch now.

annsixty I only had to look after relatives with dementia on a short term basis and I can remember the frustration of dealing with a couple whose dementia was far worse than it superficially appeared.

My sympathy really does go out to people in your position. I can remember at the time wondering how those whose life is tied to providing full time care for a person with dementia manage. I do hope Social Services or others have arrange for you to have at least half a day's respite every week.