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What kind of top? Help needed.

(57 Posts)
ExDancer Wed 03-Apr-24 17:07:32

We've been invited to a "black tie" dinner, and its such a long time since we've attended a formal occasion I'm at a loss as to a suitable dress. We don't go out much and its years since we attended such a formal 'do'.
My husband can still fit into his dinner jacket so he's OK, but I don't have any long dresses or skirts any more.
However I do have a nice black skirt with metallic gold stars on it, its not long but looks smart, but I don't have a suitable blouse apart from a gold sparkly Christmassy one.
I have time to buy something - but what?
What are people wearing these days?
(I am 85, size 10)

GutenTag Mon 06-May-24 14:14:37

Black trousers sound lovely !
I’d go with a beautiful unusual shirt on top , depending on your skin tone , black , white or ivory , with dramatic sleeves or ruffles . I’d much rather wear trousers than a dress , someone else mentioned a tuxedo ? You could easily wear one and be comfortable , chic and elegant, provided it matched the trousers , there are many shades of black

Caleo Wed 17-Apr-24 16:28:22

Not Spagh, I agree and I suspect myself of sour grapes thinking

NotSpaghetti Thu 11-Apr-24 11:19:46

Ha ha Caleo

I suppose you might not feel quite like this if the occasion was important to you for some reason.
I've recently been to a "black tie" wedding of someone I love - so it was important to me to "fit in" and be comfortable too - even though we all know it's clearly not important - it's really just a costume I think.

Caleo Thu 11-Apr-24 11:13:46

I think it's a really boring problem to have. I'd hate to go to dinner party or a ' cruise 'where it matters what you look like .

Gundy Mon 08-Apr-24 00:42:43

ExDancer I went back to look at pictures, and somehow I missed yours the first time around. Thinking through this - I do like the top!!

The skirt not so much - it’s very iffy for me. A solid black skirt would be best. Can you find a seamstress or dressmaker who could make you a long skirt that custom fits you? (Do any relatives or friends sew? Then after the event, you could have it shortened for more use.)

At your age, I’m still sticking with a long colored dress - for sparkle. Don’t do too much black.

And don’t forget the lipstick!

Gundy Mon 08-Apr-24 00:23:22

I would not wear the black (short) skirt with stars.

You can find long, elegant dresses that do not cost an arm and a leg. Buy it in a solid color and one that compliments you. (You might have to shorten it.) Black shoes and a black handbag or clutch purse (borrow one!) Also pretty earrings, borrowed also.

Then find your husband a complementary (solid colored) tie that matches your dress.

You’ll be a stunning couple! Have a great time!

Grammaretto Sun 07-Apr-24 23:58:39

I like your sparkly outfit. It saves you buying something new.
If you do buy a new top, it doesn't have to be black. A strong colour would work.
It's a nice problem to have.
Enjoy the "Do"

Jannipans Sun 07-Apr-24 23:10:33

Could you perhaps borrow an outfit from a friend or relative?

Patsy70 Sun 07-Apr-24 17:48:49

ExDancer

This is the best I can do with a photo. I felt the top was a bit too Christmassy - and a new blouse would be wearable at other times.
I can't afford something I'll only wear once.

That is a lovely skirt, ExDancer. Look online at Next, Zara, M&S, or pop into your local charity shops. I volunteer at one and some donations still have labels on. Many are from Phase Eight, White Stuff and other high quality shops.

ExaltedWombat Sun 07-Apr-24 17:24:17

Wear the Christmas sparkles. For goodness' sake - you're 85. You get a free pass. No rules. Wear what you like.

Astitchintime Sun 07-Apr-24 13:19:34

If there is detail in the skirt fabric then I would select a plain black top/blouse and wear a piece of statement jewellery.

LilyoftheValley Sun 07-Apr-24 13:11:09

If you have a little time to spend, try charity shops. I saw some Caroline Charles recently.

NotSpaghetti Sun 07-Apr-24 12:59:17

I think the skirt (with stars) is more Christmas-looking than the top.

Keep the top and look for plain bottoms maybe.

grandtanteJE65 Sun 07-Apr-24 12:29:25

Well, as you do not say whether you are as flat as a board, or well-endowed with a beautifully impressive bosom, we can't really help, can we?

Pop the skirt in a carrier bag and take it with you when you go shopping for a blouse.

Avoid anything with gold as the skirt has gold stars and I suggest you either look for a sleeveless blouse you can wear under a bolero or jacket, or a long sleeved blouse that you can combine with and evening shawl or wrap.

Paperbackwriter Sun 07-Apr-24 12:25:03

I think the outfit you showed us looks perfect. The top may be glitzy but that doesn't just have to be about Christmas. I think it would work fine.

sazz1 Sun 07-Apr-24 12:24:45

For formal nights on a cruise I wore a long black skirt with various silky tops. Kitten heels. All from ebay

knspol Sun 07-Apr-24 12:14:45

I'd stick with the top that you have shown in the photo and buy a plain, full length, black skirt to go with it, maybe in velvet or some sort of silky material.
Whatever you wear enjoy the occasion, people are usually too worried about how they look themselves to notice much about what anybody else is wearing.

sarahcyn Sun 07-Apr-24 12:13:40

@ExDancer suddenly last year I found myself at several black tie functions, unusual for me, and I noticed that not many women regard wearing full-length dresses or skirts as compulsory. Shorter mid-calf length is very acceptable, or jumpsuits.

mar76 Sun 07-Apr-24 12:11:56

I noticed lsst week John Lewis are hiring dresses at £20 a time. Cheaper than buying.

Lesley60 Sun 07-Apr-24 11:59:11

I absolutely hate dressing up, we are going on a cruise soon but will not be going to the formal night, I can’t think of anything worse, however I have bought a few sparkly tops to wear with smart trousers for the specially dining.
These were not expensive just from Temu but look more expensive than they were
I’m not going to spend a fortune for something I will wear once a year.

Stillness Sun 07-Apr-24 11:35:37

I think your top and skirt look great! It will be a dressy occasion so I think it will be wonderful….but only if you feel good in it.
If not, maybe the top with a longer plain black skirt…although as you’re short, like me, full length is always too long… Or a simple mid length shift dress with a shawl would be nice.
Maybe a charity shop is worth looking in. They often have little used special occasion clothes. Enjoy!

Witzend Sun 07-Apr-24 11:28:55

If you’ve got a good dept. store nearby, I’d ask for help in the fashion area to find a suitable top to go with your skirt - being specific about e.g. sleeve length or colours you wouldn’t want. Personally I wouldn’t buy a dress I’d very likely never wear again.

Caleo Sun 07-Apr-24 11:27:20

First think about your total silhouette . I doubt if the length of the apparel matters a great deal (although personally I'd choose to conceal my swollen ankles).

Unless you are unusually well proportioned for an eighty year old you may want to choose a loose top that does not cut under waist or stomach.

If you want to wear your skirt that you already have you will do best with a plain black top , maybe in velvet.

nadateturbe Sun 07-Apr-24 11:15:26

Sago

Roman have a fantastic sale, dresses are as little as £30.
Here’s an example.

I agree. And Roman do a good petite range. Delivery is quick and cheap, easy returns so you could try more than one.
I wouldn't worry too much.

cc Sun 07-Apr-24 11:09:00

Germanshepherdsmum

Personally, I love a tuxedo suit - I would be lost without mine.

Yes, I have one too, it was very expensive but really worth it. I don't go to many formal events but I know it won't date so I can wear it forever.