How many times in a day...

Does it count if nobody else is there to hear?

I regularly use brand X expletives when a) driving, and b) at the exceedingly irritating ads on Classic FM before smartly switching them off.
I then often forget to switch on again for quite a while. Then it will so often be the news again, with the %*%*% B word - cue another resounding curse and switch off.

I find 'potty-mouth' an irritating expression, BTW, but then I'm all too easily irritated these days. OTOH 'Foul-mouthed' has a pleasingly no-nonsense ring to it.

Shite shite shite
G²; 3 in a row! That must have put a strain on your system, not to mention being excruciatingly painful Dr. Google (q.v.) advises to keep off;
Fast foods
Raw Vegies
Spicy foods
Coffee
Beans
Cabbage.
I'd also add "sour grapes"!
But you've already said my posts are not worth reading, so I guess the above advice has fallen on sterile ground. Not to worry as I'm sure you will soon begin to miss our intelligent discussions; they still say it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Cheers

Shite shite shite

Shit bugger arsehole, bugger wank poo
Day6: you must be a bloke! No lady on GN would have an armoury that comprehensive; not a "proper" lady anyway, surely not?
After spending a troubled night worrying about whether my little joke about "Aural Sex" had pushed the envelope too far, I opened up my comp. this evening to find it had been unnoticed and not it nor me had been given the heave-ho! Three cheers for Womens' Lib, I say!

Oh shite! My tea's gone over my keyboard now
Jalima; Please don't condone use of that expletive.! It doesn't even make it to my OZ dictionary of slang. It doesn't sound nice.

My late father would never have used foul language at home. And neither did any of our family

Same here. (I seem to be talking to myself - has this thread died?)

My mother and father never swore. We idn't growing up and I remember being so shocked when I started Uni to be greeted by my new roommate who declared she'd "Had a shitty journey."

I was shocked and wondered why she described it as she did. A few years later, and working in in a big and very deprived inner city, I realised I'd have to toughen up as every other person I came into contact with, including my esteemed colleagues, had a rich vocabulary.

I got the hang of it. I smiled to myself recently. Two men were squaring up to each other outside a pub we were about to enter. They were swearing - but as soon as they saw me they stopped and moved aside to let me enter. One said "Enough now! Ladies present," which I thought was really sweet. They didn't have to bother, I wasn't offended, (because I have heard it all before - and more) but that there is some old code of honour still, regarding swearing in front of women struck me as being a good thing.

They wuz brung up propper.

"My go-to string of expletives (when just one won't do) is:

Shit bugger arsehole, bugger wank poo"

Oh phoenix - absolutely cracking up here!! Thank you!

I don't have a string but maybe I should? I feel I am missing out. A day rarely goes by without a 'bollocks' or two though.

Have the lavatorial 'crap' and 'piss' been mentioned? Are they minor indiscretions or part of the daily allowance?

I can swear with the best of 'em should the need arise (it doesn't, often) but I am very restrained in polite company. People think I am nice. It can be a strain.

And I will never swear again in my life!

Oh shite! My tea's gone over my keyboard now. Sigh.

Ha ha ha!

Sex Ed. Aural Sex
A young fellow was about to be married and was asking his grandfather about sex. He asked how often you should have it. His grandfather told him that when you first get married, you want it all the time, and maybe do it several times a day. His grandfather continued to tell the young fellow that later on, sex tapers off and you have it once a week or so. Then as you get older, you have sex maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year - maybe on your anniversary. The young fellow then asked his grandfather, "Well how about you and Grandma now?" His grandfather replied, "Oh, we just have aural sex now." "What's aural sex?" The young fellow asked. "Well," Grandpa said, "She goes to bed into her bedroom, and I go to into my bedroom. And she yells, 'F--- You!" And I holler back, "F--- You too'.

Senior Citizen Remixes
"You're So Varicose Vein" by Carly Simon "
How Can You Mend A Broken Hip?" by the BeeGees
"I Can't See Clearly Now" by Johnny Nash
"These Boots Give Me Arthritis" by Nancy Sinatra
"Once, Twice, Three Trips to the Bathroom" by the Commodores
"I Get By with a Little Help from Depends" by the Beatles
"Talking' �Bout My Medication" by the Who
"Bald Thing" by the Troggs
"You Can't Always Pee When You Want" by the Rolling Stones
"I Heard It through the Grape Nuts" by Marvin Gaye
Newborn Baby Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."
Really! Like a newborn baby?
Yes! no hair, no teeth and I think I've just wet my pants.

Had to remember when driving with my little ones in the car to call idiot drivers 'Pilchards' not 'Pi....ks!

Not playing this game. Byeee.

I try to be friendly
GG; Believe me, so do I and I'm sorry that my friendly dig at your expense back-fired. Problem with on-line jokes as always is that you (not the personal you) can't see the joker's smile or mischievious twinkle in the eye!
But please don't go or spurn me; and continue to read my posts; yes, we are allowed to make little mistakes as we get a bit older and, as I've found, even bigger mistakes as we get a lot older! But by then they all put it down to being senile which is a useful "get out of jail" card! Please let me know what "your kind of person" is and I'll do my best to come up to scratch. As DelBoy would say, "I can't be fairer than that"! I'm sure we can develop some interesting discussions. Cheers!

Threads are here for oars to be put in to by anyone and everyone. Including those who dislike seeing unjust mean and rude replies to someone. That's why its called a forum.

I suppose it's not possible to closethis thread now? I wish I'd never started it.

But I doubt it.

Can't see any reason for you to put your oar in Chewbacca either.

Actually I don't think you are my kind of person, so I will avoid.

Yes. I did laugh at your jokes yesterday. I found them quite funny, and I try to be friendly. But when you pick me up on a small spelling slip, and tell me I have "limited spelling", that upsets me. Are we not allowed to make little mistakes as we get a bit older.

Your posts aren't worth reading.

Unnecessarily and uncalled for rudeness. Absolutely no need for that whatsoever.

Rufus I've been deleted for far less than fook! I took it as a compliment!

Your posts aren't worth reading
GG; Oh Dear! Now I've upset you and I thought this was a lighthearted thread. But are you not the same GG who appeared on the "Retirees" thread only yesterday, full of hilarity at my fart joke?
Btw; You may be right about the specs. I wear trifocals;

I love saying feck or more likely feck off
DanniRae; Careful DR! You're pushing the envelope a bit far! I used "fook off" in a joke on a Scotch, Scottish thread recently and not only were my 3 jokes deleted, but so was the total thread, along with other innocent posts! On asking HQ, someone had "reported" an objection!; that someone obviously has influence at HQ. So take great care!

I enjoy watching Gogglebox every week but the use of the ‘f’ word by some in the programme !

Rufus. Fred hasn’t conked out.

Oh! I put an 'o' instead of an 'a'. Yeah, that's right. Definitely limited spelling.

Your posts aren't worth reading.