I cannot seem to say anything "right"

Thought it was just me 😅
Ooh / Ahh …

A mother's place is in the wrong.

I think walking on eggshells - all of the time - some of the time- and for no apparent reason - is on the job description of Mums with daughters.

I'm constantly asking myself if I spoke to my Mum in the same way, maybe I did. I don't think I would have done if my Dad was in hearing range though

I’m not even allowed to ask questions 😜😜 😂🤣

At 2 months postpartum this sounds very normal. I think that despite our rosy recollections, most mums go through periods of hypersensitivity and emotional rough patches after we give birth. We get older and suddenly we had perfect pp periods where we were super women who soaked up every piece of criticism or advice with grace.

She just had a baby. She’s hormonal. She’s adjusting. Likely tired and cranky. Simply offer no advice unless it’s solicited and keep offering words of support and encouragement. I try to ask more questions to show interest rather than offer advice. It’s kept me from sticking my foot in my mouth…mostly .

MawsRosie -- I really love your story. Especially since D 1 apologized(!). Good on you. And I think you are right -- there is a shift of roles. My DD is now in charge in a way she never has, and she no longer wants to defer to me. I don't need allegiance. Just want her happy. So....ooo ahhh, mmm hmm
:-)

Been there, done that, still doing it too.
Had a mildly cool word with eldest D’s 3 children (teenagers) who were being very negative about an activity some of the others had planned one afternoon (holiday for 15 of us in France this year) and would only have been for an hour or so, but they were uncharacteristically grumpy and I suspect the heat was getting to them.
Don’t tell my children what to do,Mum, snapped D 1, to which I replied Don’t tell me what I can or can’t do.
Most unlike me to be so brave but after a little while she actually apologised .
I was surprised but thought I would make the most of this by pointing out that Granny never speaks sharply to them and I thought that for once they might actually take notice ( as opposed to mum who nags them on a daily basis!)
LSS OP, best advice is to say nowt, stick to the oohs aahs and mm hums.
On reflection I wonder how much of it is due to the transition to becoming a mum on the one side and sadly from mum to lower status granny on mine!

Cossy quote: "Whilst everyone here says this is “normal”, I can say I’d have never spoken to my DM the way my daughters occasionally speak to me!'

This.
All day every day, it's this exact statement.

I literally feel your pain!

Whilst everyone here says this is “normal”, I can say I’d have never spoken to my DM the way my daughters occasionally speak to me!

My heart goes out to you, but it’ll hopefully pass when things settle a little 💕

Same as aggie - daughter similar age 😫

My daughter is 50+ and I can’t have an opinion ! My correct place is in the wrong !

Thank you all :-)
Fancythat and Purplepixie -- I will continue with the ooo's and ahhs...and I will try harder to never have an opinion. The latter goes against everything I am or stand for. But I hope you're right -- that it's "normal" and hopefully it will pass. DD's anxiety will likely never go away, and so I just need to figure out how to not add to her anxiety.

Thank you again to all who replied <3

She could even have PTSD after birth.
This is becoming more common.

Though you dont mention a difficult birth.

Could be post natal depression , this has happened since she gave birth so I think it is strong possibility. Your DD may be unaware of what is happening other than she feels irritable and stressed. Your DD has always had mental health issues so my instinct is she needs help ASAP !
Would you be able to have a private word with her spouse ? They may be well aware of your DDs anxiety and be relieved to know you have noticed it. A delicate conversation to have , I recognise that but if that is possible and is done discreetly her spouse may be in a stronger position to help her. Good luck.

I agree with fancythat.
In the early stages a new mum can feel lacking in confidence and prickly, especially with her mum who though meaning well with good advice could be seen as critisizing.
Listen and give praise for her efforts as a new parent. Biting your lip will become second nature.

I have a degree in oos and ahs. My dil was just the same. I put a caring smile in my voice but I actually wanted to cry and scream at times. Maybe she has post natel depression along with her anxiety. It’s really scary and daunting having a baby. Let her know that you love and care about her and if she needs help then you are there mentally and physically (if you can). But never criticise or have an opinion. X

I feel sorry for you.

Unfortunately, what you write is quite normal, for a new mum of only 2 months.

I think you may need to continue with oohs and ahhs for a few months more yet.