DH conversation

I have noticed that DP sometimes tells the same anecdotes when we’re with friends or for Friday night dinners when friends/ relatives are here.He doesn’t do it when it’s just the two of us thankfully.The funny thing is, that he always says ‘tell me if I’ve told you this already’ and they say ‘no you haven’t’ so he goes ahead and tells it and they laugh…but I know for a fact that he has told them before and more than once! So either people don’t really listen or they’re as forgetful as DP 🤷🏼‍♀️

I would give anything to hear my husband’s stories again.

It’s an older person thing, somebody says something and it triggers a memory, for some reason you then feel you have to share it. I am late 70s and realise that friends and I have about half a dozen stories that get repeated, although I suspect because we are female there is lots of other chat. I know about four other people’s family history almost as well as my own

We have neighbours like that. Not about the homework but they constantly repeat stuff that everyone has heard countless times and the ‘oneupmanship’ they nurture is draining! How many times does anyone need to know that their daughter has been on more cruises, on the very best ships, in the top class cabins - how often do we need to be reminded that their grandson spent six weeks over Christmas and New Year in Thailand - how many many times does anyone we need to hear about the landed gentry that her DH used to be gardener for (apparently one was a “cousin of the late Queen don’t you know”!}

I think the only way forward OP is to immediately disengage the conversation by raising a different subject.

As for these neighbours…….very few of us associate with them now, as a little neighbourhood we’ve always looked out for one another, lending a hand, checking in if someone’s ill, giving a lift to collect a car from the MOT etc……but we’re just so exhausted with hearing the stuff that particular couple keeping spouting about. Ironically, they have never offered help to any of the rest of us 🤔

Suggest a man’s shed or some volunteering Erica then he’d have more to tell you Its well recognised that men are less able to do groups and talking stuff than women and he obviously needs more in his life
I think I d be repeating old stories if I didn’t have stuff going on in my life that gives me new stories to ohh and ahh about.

We have a men’s walk and talk group started up here they meet once a week for a walk and yes they talk and not just about footie It’s so much more healthy for men to get together and share problems like women have always done and men rarely do.
He needs more than you in his life, ( I don’t mean that in a rude way) point him in a useful direction and see the difference
I m surprised at how many men we now have in our charity shop it used to be the odd one now about a fifth of the volunteers are men which is much more healthy

Thanks everyone at least I’m not alone, maybe it is more of a man thing, I know I don’t do it, yet.
I think he could be starting with dementia he’s 73, there has been other changes too, we’ve discussed it and he’s adamant he’s ok and flatly refuses to go to the Dr, so what can I do.
He is also bored he doesn’t have any friends or hobbies apart from following football, so probably needs to get out more.
We’ve just been on holiday and I haven’t been well since we came home, hence the irritability on my part 🤣

No you aren’t being unkind.
Do you think he’s starting with dementia? Or just run out of conversation?
My mum is the same, she tells me same stories I’ve heard a million times, as though I am hearing them for the first time.
I was polite until recently, but now I just say I know I’ve heard it.
Or I get a running commentary through every program we watch together.
When all I want to do is sit quietly at peace.

This is my DH to a tea! It’s quite irritating and annoying, but as another poster said at least it’s a conversation (of sorts!)

I once made the mistake of saying, “ it’s not about you” and he went silent for a few days 🙄🙄

Sorry Erica, yes DH's never been a very chatty person although I think I notice it more now our boys have left home.

My DH is like a record player I just say you have told me that hundreds of times!

I think this is an (older) man thing. My husband gives the same account re amalgam fillings as a child and currently, water restrictions in the summer. I just have to walk away. So you’re not alone.

Yes we all enjoy a moan don’t we, that’s where Gransnet comes in useful sometimes.
I’ve been thinking about some sort of notebook for a while. I’m also giving him the responsibility of sending birthday cards so he’ll need to write them all down. He’s going to be busy. Thank you.

Erica23 please don’t be sorry. I know people complain about their loved ones without really meaning anything by it.
Please treasure every second with your man. Hope whatever is troubling you revolves itself soon. Perhaps you could suggest your husband writes these stories down so they can be shared with your grandchildren. That might keep him quiet for a bit 🤣

Doodle I’m sorry. That’s the problem with complaining on here. I love my DH very much, I think some of it is my problem for some reason I’m very irritable at the moment. It will pass.

I would give anything to listen to one of my DH’s stories again. I think everyone does this. I know I do. We all have limited experiences and I’m sure must repeat things over and over especially if you’ve been married a long time.

Jaxjacky

I would discuss the homework issue with the parents, not your DH, then it would be their guidelines.

I think this is a good idea.

I would discuss the homework issue with the parents, not your DH, then it would be their guidelines.

You are not being unreasonable.

I queried a woman gently once about her repeat stories.
She knew and agreed that she was doing it.

My husband can be a bit like that , I'm selective now ref conversation with him . I usually know which way it's going to go . Luckily I have 3 sisters to talk too

DH never says I expect I’ve told you this wish he would then I jump in and say yes you have 🫠
I’m sorry valdali that sounds very difficult, as he always been the same ?

I'm grateful when DH does this as most the time he's monosyllabic or talks to the dog - to be honoured with a story, even if I've heard it 20 times, makes me happy...

I had a colleague, male, who would repeat the same stories over and over again, usually starting with 'I expect I have told you this before'; we would agree, even repeating the content; he would say yes, that's right, then go through the whole story again. Now on a committee with him, still happening.
Nothing you can do.