Problems with DIL

Adopting a living being is not the solution here - the OP, assuming this is real, needs to stop living in a fantasy land

A puppy deserves better than this

And of course no mum would be willing to even fly over for a short visit and definitely not send the lids kids for one.

Ĝrandma has their whole future life planned out, including moving in with her son to become their fulltime parent and school places...

DIL is a Saint for even doing Skype

Lids!
Sorry, made my day

My lids are always going missing along with the teaspoons and half the socks

*looks sideways at MIL

A tour of duty is usually 24 months, but could be 36 months now, so meeting a local German girl, getting married, having 2+ children, one of whom is ready to start school, all in 36 months is pretty good going!

How could your DS enrol a child in a local school in the USA when the child is not living there?
Surely they have to be resident in the catchment area of the school?

A tennis racket has less holes than this thread lol

A tour of duty for a US serviceman can be 4 years. They can remain in place for many years. It's called homesteading.

My ex was a US serviceman. He spent all bar 3 years of his 20 years service in the UK. It's quite possible to spend a prolonged period in one location.

But that doesn’t matter the children do NOT need to be with their grandmother in a country foreign to them but I think it’s a wind up no one can be that ridiculous

GagaJo that is at least good to hear.
Maybe the father will go back to his family in Germany.

This is horrible, i can’t imagine expecting my DIL to send her children (yes my grandchildren but first and foremost her children) across seas to me when their father won’t even be able to be their primary carer, I love my grandchildren but they need their mother, this is not about you and she has half a mind to stop contacting you herself, your son needs to support his wife and put you in your place!

I can’t believe you’re calling your DIL selfish for not wanting you to take her kids away from her. No you don’t see them but if you try to take them away from their mother, it’s you that is the selfish one. They’re not your children. I understand your DS is the father but he did not grow these children inside him, he did not feel depleted of energy for 9 months to give these children the nutrients they needed and he did not put his life on the line to bring them into the world.
Is it an unfortunate situation? Yes. But you need to keep out of it, stop offering unsolicited advice and leave your DS to organise things with his partner.
If you behave like this now and her visa does eventually get granted, I expect your access would be restricted no matter where your grandchildren live because no DIL wants a grandparent to act overbearing and entitled. Please remember you are talking about HER children.