I'm Trying..TRYING to stay out of it

Well good luck with that

Barmeyoldbat

Well good luck with that

😂

Best policy: 🤐🤐🤐

Oh good luck. So hard to bite your tongue, but best idea in the end.
One day they'll make tongue plasters!

As a rule of thumb, children should NEVER involve their parents in their relationships/marriages and parents should NEVER get involved in their adult children's relationships/marriages.

A parent's instinct is to protect a child. That's okay. That's normal. That's what parents are supposed to do. But it also means that a parent is not in a position to be objective about a situation involving their child.

Callistemon21

Best policy: 🤐🤐🤐

Yes indeed, never give an opinion.

I'd steer clear of anyone whose mum called themself mama bear, to be honest.

Recipe for disaster.

Oh dear, I take it something went wrong?

Definitely stat out of it, listening and comforting is best.

Generally, if you weren't present for the argument, you won't be present for the make up again. This means whatever you said, still stands.

Not a good place to be

That made me laugh MissA! 😁
Great comment. I agree.

Back off mummy. It’s not your circus.

"PS. Daughter in law? Don't say anything rude or nasty about your husband - this mama bear will come back with a ROAR!"

Dangerous move, it is better to leave their issues between them and no involvement

What if there is merit to dil's comments and she is in the right?

What could possibly go wrong?

agnurse

As a rule of thumb, children should NEVER involve their parents in their relationships/marriages and parents should NEVER get involved in their adult children's relationships/marriages.

A parent's instinct is to protect a child. That's okay. That's normal. That's what parents are supposed to do. But it also means that a parent is not in a position to be objective about a situation involving their child.

I needed to read that, my daughter has separated from her husband about three months ago and he’s not making it easy for her and I want to get involved but I know I can’t and shouldn’t but it’s so hard to stand back to see the hard time he’s giving her.. she has a nearly 4-year-old and a six-year-old and he is weaponising the children against her, saying if she doesn’t speak to him he won’t have the children and things like that. It’s so difficult also for her than me obviously And she’s agreeing to certain things because she doesn’t want to upset the children…🤦‍♀️😥… she has had to call the police twice because he went round to her flat harassing her… she is so far away in St Albans and I am here in Devon…

MawtheMerrier

What could possibly go wrong?

Just about everything...

Oh Shinamae thats very different you poor love and DD and the kids...

What if there is merit to dil's comments and she is in the right?

DIL and I have been known to have a little giggle occasionally about DS's foibles 😁

Shinamae
That is very difficult for you.
All you can do is support her.

I think its ok to listen to your son letting off steam , you are his Mum after all. I would just try not to say anything negative about his wife or offer any advice, tricky I know . Its normal for couples to say things about each other after a row , mind you, I could never say anything negative about my husband to his parents . He's a very spolit only child , that can do no wrong in their eyes 🙄

Callistemon21

Shinamae
That is very difficult for you.
All you can do is support her.

She has a very good job and fortunately she can work from home but I’m just worried with all this stress she’s under if she makes a mistake she could cost her company thousands… then where would she be? At the moment she is in a two bedroom flat and that is costing her £1400 a month just in rent, she has always paid half the mortgage on the house and just wants it sold so she can move on with her life but her husband like I say is being so awkward and he has money so if he wants to continue being difficult he is in a much better place than my daughter financially 🤦‍♀️

When my youngest split from her boyfriend (as he 'wasn't sure' about commitment) I felt so sorry for her - and terribly, horribly angry with him. I called him every name under the sun. (How dare he upset my little girl?) and advised her to move on. Of course, they got back together - but my anger remained. I had to say 'Don't bring him here, I might punch him' - so didn't see much of them for a couple of years. Now, they're married with kids - and still he's nervous around me!

Shinamae

Callistemon21

Shinamae
That is very difficult for you.
All you can do is support her.

She has a very good job and fortunately she can work from home but I’m just worried with all this stress she’s under if she makes a mistake she could cost her company thousands… then where would she be? At the moment she is in a two bedroom flat and that is costing her £1400 a month just in rent, she has always paid half the mortgage on the house and just wants it sold so she can move on with her life but her husband like I say is being so awkward and he has money so if he wants to continue being difficult he is in a much better place than my daughter financially 🤦‍♀️

she has always paid half the mortgage on the house
he is in a much better place than my daughter financially

She needs to seek legal advice, Shinamae.
I'm sure other Gransnetters will be able to advise.

All I can advise is that the new No Blame divorce is a lot more straightforward and BOTH parties don't have to agree with it.

but when children are involved it is more complicated, however the courts do look for a fair settlement of resources according to circumstances. It may cost more for DD's solicitor to have someone work out the financials, still, all in all, better than the old divorce laws.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wyllow3

All I can advise is that the new No Blame divorce is a lot more straightforward and BOTH parties don't have to agree with it.

but when children are involved it is more complicated, however the courts do look for a fair settlement of resources according to circumstances. It may cost more for DD's solicitor to have someone work out the financials, still, all in all, better than the old divorce laws.

Half p.m.’d you. hope you don’t mind..

Callistemon21

^What if there is merit to dil's comments and she is in the right?^

DIL and I have been known to have a little giggle occasionally about DS's foibles 😁

Definitely! We do too.
But light hearted …I would never expect nor want to be part of any deeper issues !