As you know if you have read my latest post , I am having a tough time with my grumpy husband recovering from hip surgery
Went to see my gp today and she put me on antidepressants but also suggested I had a break from him
I have never been on holiday alone and don’t know if I would be ok
What I am thinking is that if I am on my own , I will have too much time to think about things and to dwell on my situation and I don’t think that would do me good , would it ? And yet , I need a break from him
So I am coming here again for desperately needed advice
Hope you gransnet friends out there can help
Thank you
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Holiday alone ?
(58 Posts)Coach trips or tours are usually friendly. Or a cruise if you feel brave enough ( covid), or have you a friend/family you can stay or go away with? You clearly need a break.
I dont know your circumstances, but feel a bit for anyone recovering from hip surgery. I am 6 weeks post op and grateful my dh is around to help.
Hope the medication helps and you can sort out a break.
Thank you silver lining
Perhaps just a day out or an overnight stay on your own might do you good. That way you could get away mentally, but not feel guilty about an extended stay and leaving DH on his own.
A day to the city for a matinee performance, a visit or a garden or museum and a nice lunch out. You'll come home refreshed mentally (hopefully). Organize his physical care in advance, but he needs to know he should help himself as well.
Thank you canadiangran
Think I would wait for a couple of weeks till your medication for depression kicks in...By that time you should start to feel less anxious and more positive about making a decision bout going on a break by yourself.....Think going on a bus holiday with other people would be your best.
I've travelled alone a lot. I travel independently, so not a package, as that's what I enjoy. However, I have always found that I can find people to talk to or spend time with should I want to.
But I have friends who don't enjoy that sort of travelling, and so go on organised trips relating to an interest they have, so that might be an option.
Gransnet have some information and suggestions for solo travel here www.gransnet.com/life-and-style/travel/travelling-alone
Medication will help you but to get out of this hole, you need professional help
After antidepressants have kicked in, why not start with a weekend, turn off your cell and decide your next destination?
Have a look at HF holidays. Good if you like walking but other activities too. Great for solo travellers
Do you have any hobbies or interests? There are lots of opportunities for weekends away to learn new skills or spend time with other like minded people while enjoying the same craft - such as craft courses, cookery classes etc. Also there are a few summer schools which offer a variety of educational courses, often held in University Halls of Residence or public schools.
This would give you time away from your husband without being lonely.
As others have said a coach trip for a few days and see how it goes as a first step.
If this is your first trip by yourself, added to that you're not feeling your best just now ... then I would start with something very simple. Maybe a short coach trip as others have suggested. Be determined to be interested in where you are going - do a bit of research before setting off. Go and see a lovely old castle or something, walk in the fresh air, have coffee and cream cakes etc.
We all need to recharge our batteries from time to time.
In your situation I would not be too adventures at the moment. Why not take a bus / train to a a town close by and have just one or possibly two nights away? That way you will probably be in familiar surroundings
and benefit from a much needed and well deserved break . A short break close to home may enable you to recharge. You may want to be alone or perhaps you could take a friend with you ? Whatever you decide , enjoy and please switch off from the stress. Easier said than done I recognize that but give it a go ! Enjoy.
I feel for you Notjustaprettyface as my OH is not doing too well , mentally or physically, since Heart Failure diagnosis last year.
Once we were over the initial shock and things started to settle down I made sure I got back to my usual routine of outings/meetings/groups etc. Maybe him knowing I was going to do these things helped him as he had to look after himself. Obviously if he was really not too well I wouldn't go out but when I did go it could range from 2 hours, community garden, up to 7 hours, Quilting Group, lunch and friends day. Always made sure i had my mobile with me.
I've also had a weekend with my daughter .
What I'm saying is, get out and do your thing. If your OH is just grumpy you need a break. Maybe a holiday is a big first step but if you feel he's ok to look after himself, or you have help for him arranged, then go for it.
PS I think an activity break would be great, you'd be busy, have company and it could be a weekend or a week.
Sounds like an excellent idea. Find something that interests you and consider a coach tour. A short trip to put your toe in the water so to speak. Nothing ventured......
Hi, I have been on a boot camp in Portugal and also a yoga camp in Spain. Totally loved them both and met like minded ladies, especially at the Yoga camp. I love my hubby, we holiday well but occasionally do something separate and it's so good for us and my independence. You can do this, you are woman ?
My older sister (long gone) travelled the whole world, on her own, after she retired Never married, never wanted to. And she travelled light. …. 4 or 5 changes of clothes, 2 bras, 6 panties ( washed them daily in the sink ), dried them over night …ready to move on. Didn’t stay in fancy hotels, just YWCAs. Left more than a million Dollars to Charity. Left token amounts to her nieces and nephews…..the family often wonders how she managed to save so much on a teacher’s salary. Frugality, probably.
If you’re brave enough, go for it. Start off with a coach trip in this country and then move on to more adventurous solo holidays. Good luck !
Go for it! Use a single holiday company such as 'Just You'. They do short break in UK and abroad. You won't have time to dwell on your situation. You'll be too busy making new friends and having a great time! Have travelled all over the worl on my own. Still doing so at 72. Met some great characters even in their 80s on single holidays. They're NOT dating sites if you're worried about that.
Maybe a course on something that interests you. Cookery Course? Baking course? Painting course? Sewing course? That way you have the company of others with common interests.
I am going on a 3 night break to a beautiful hotel in maspalomas gran canaria at the end of june. My son has just holidayed there and thought I would love it. Adults only and lots of people holidaying on their own all different age groups. I need a break from alcoholic husband and I am due to have surgery sometime this year. I think 3 nights will be just enough to stop me feeling lonely. Its a bit daunting but exciting at the same time. I say go for it. We only live once
I’ve not so much been able to ‘stop’ looking after my husband for 16 years…. no overnight stay with relative…. no weekend away …. no more than 2 hours when I’ve been shopping. I’ve been his nurse/carer for 26 years and have not been away from him for passed 16!! No holidays …no break…no nothing! Nobody seems to think I need a break! Get your break if you can ….insist on it . You’ll need to help yourself so you can keep helping him.
Ive travelled a lot with “Just You”. It’s not just for divorced, widowed etc I’ve met ladies whose husbands are not well enough to travel and I’ve met women whose husbands just don’t want to travel. Ive met new friends and had some memorable holidays, have a look online, well worth it.
Just looked online at “just you”holidays, Way out of my price range unfortunately
So much depends on your interests and how you fancy travelling
I've done air bnb in oxford, very nice hostess and a few minutes walk from a regular bus service into the city
I've done youth hostels, you can have private rooms if you are out of season, I've done premier inns and travelodges, and rooms at pubs.
Maybe choose somewhere where there is a lot to do, but with parks and nice walks, only you know wh3ther you fancy a city break it somewhere in the country
When the now ex left I did different short stays, both in the country and in towns.
One word of warning with some of these cheap coach tours is that often the hotel is a cheap one miles away from where is advertised, you go to the nice place on the coach from the cheap hotel, so if you decide to do that look to see if you will be able to go for a nice walk in the evening somewhere you would like to go
A friend went in a trip to Stratford on avon and the Cotswolds, but the trip was based in Coventry in a Britannia hotel. Now it's an interesting city but anywhere you might fancy visiting would be closed in the evening, you'd not be able to go for a walk along the svin in the evening as she had planned to do. She hadn't read the itinerary correctly before booking
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