Dating younger man

Why not give it a chance?

Forget about the age.
Do you see potential with him as a couple?

As hithere said forget about the age difference.

If a friend was seeing someone who refused to acknowledge them when they were out with other friends what would you advise Them to do?

Sit down and have a chat with him about it, if he wants it to be a secret then I think you have a problem. Whatever age he is.

9 years difference is no that much!
In your situation what would concern me more is his apparent refusal to acknowledge your relationship to others - that needs addressing asap! If he is unable to do that I think you should reconsider your relay with him . Good luck .

Relationship!

I echo Shelflife and those comments. I think it would bother me that he was pretty much ignoring me in public. That does need addressing.

If this were reversed and the man 9 years older would anyone comment? No they wouldn’t.
I would be concerned that he doesn’t acknowledge a relationship when in company.
Speak to him.

My last partner was 8 years younger than me and he pinched my birthday too that felt weird someone else getting greetings and cards on my day (I normally am a great sharer of anything but it did feel weird and I never quite got to feel comfortable inwardly) I was in my 50 s
The age difference was not a problem as I remember it , the relationship however was and after 8 years we split acrimoniously he very very quickly found a wife followed by a child

I think the bit to concern you is not the age difference but the fact that he doesn’t acknowledge you in public that would be a big warning sign for me Even if he’s a private man who doesn’t show affection in public you would expect him to be a bit more ‘together’ than you say however 2 months is a very short time and perhaps he’s a cautious man or maybe been hurt before and taking it slowly

Ask him

silverlining48

If this were reversed and the man 9 years older would anyone comment? No they wouldn’t.
I would be concerned that he doesn’t acknowledge a relationship when in company.
Speak to him.

My thoughts exactly.Speak to him and clear the air .

Two months isn’t very long. Give him a chance to get his head round a new relationship, especially if it’s a change from how you two were before in the social group you mention.

Hmmm, the difference in age doesn't matter a jot ( in my view ) but what does matter a jot is all this evident lack of making it known to whoever that you are in a relationship and what valid reason could there be for him not adding you to his Facebook account!! Now all that would set my radar off.

I'm with the others here...if there is a real connection the age gap shouldn't matter at all. I would be deeply upset if my partner hadn't acknowledged our relationship to others and would have questioned why... especially if it was ok to hold hands etc when not around people he knows. My partner is 16 years younger than me... We've been together for 3 wonderful years. When he told his parents about the age difference..his Father said...age is just a number!!! and that's how it should be. I think you should have a frank conversation with him...and if there is no change afterwards then don't waste anymore time and energy on him .. Walk away and find someone who will be proud to hold your hand at every available opportunity. Good Luck.

A friend of mine has been with her partner for over 40 years. He is 17 years younger than her. It works for them.
Two months isn’t long but you should have a conversation as it’s obviously bothering you.

You've been seeing each other for about 8 weeks? It's early days yet and you walked away at the beginning.

He rings and texts every day. He's probably just not very demonstrative - many men aren't (many women aren't, either). Why do you need to validate his feelings for you? Insecure about the age difference?

Maybe he really is just seeing how things go and hasn't got there yet.

A few things.

Two months. This hardly counts as dating. You're seeing him regularly is all.

He could be embarrassed about the age difference. As others have said, if he were older, no one would think anything of it, but an older woman and people aren't forgiving.

Maybe he doesn't see this as a potential relationship. Maybe it's an extension of friendship to him. Men can see sex differently to women. Not that you've implied that is involved, but if it is...

I would keep him at arm's length. Switch your thinking of him to seeing it as a friendship. That way you get to enjoy his company etc, but hopefully won't get hurt. Be strict with yourself though.

9 Years is nothing.

A friend who had a lousy husband and finally left met a man some years later who is 16 years her junior. He treats her like a Queen and they are so happy together. His mother wasn't very pleased as no chance of any grandchildren.

Another friend married a man 8 years younger and again that worked.

You need to have a chat with him.

Good luck.

It seems to me that he's very conscious of the age difference and doesn't want to show you off. He should be thrilled with you. If he's not, be wary, especially if you're sleeping together, in which case he's using you.

When I met my husband over 30 years ago, we soon discovered that I am 7 years older than he is.

I can see that I look older than he does now but we are happy together.

I think, if I was you, I would just enjoy his company but not expect anything serious and don't spoil it by putting pressure on him. It's early days.

Thanks for all the good advice this has really helped me see things more clearly - I need to clear the air and just raise the subject next time I see him - there is sex involved and I have wondered if I’m just being used here - if I’m not happy with his response then I think I just need to cut my losses and walk away

I think how you are treated when out and socialising is the part that is indicative to me of what you mean to him. I feel you are being used and I suggest you think through whether this matters to you.

TerriT yes it does matter to me and I think that’s whats been niggling away at me - I knew it wasn’t right and you are correct in what you say - I intend to take action and at least then I can walk away with my head held high rather than let things carry on and be used then dumped

I have now spoken to him and he has admitted he cannot get his head around the age difference and the fact I will be drawing a pension this year - 9 years older is a big problem to him - so I have ended the relationship
- feeling pretty shattered and stupid right now wish I had listened to my gut instinct

Sorry to hear that but for what it’s worth better to know now than later. Silly thing us if it were reversed no one Would think anything of it.
Treat yourself to something nice and stop thinking you are stupid, you aren’t .

Judy Finnigan is only seven or eight years older than her husband Richard Madeley. But when you photos of them out together they look like a middle-aged son escorting his mother, elderly aunt, or even grandmother. I wouldn’t like to end up like that, and it must be very embarrassing for Judy.