Different pace in retirement

Were like you and your wife. I’m happy to potter, read, sew etc. I go out with DD and GC for walks and meet friends for coffee occasionally. My OH can’t sit still. Drives me bats. He’s always got to be doing. I’ve come to the conclusion I’m happier with myself than he is. I’ve thought he’s not content whereas I am (largely). We’re all different and lockdown has taught me to respect and accept that what I feel and think and want to do isn’t the same for him.

Sympathies, Polarbear - people who need to be non-stop physically busy can be exhausting. Each to their own of course, unless they try to make out that it’s some sort of virtue - ‘Oh, I keep busy all day - I never sit down!’ - thus implying that anyone like me, who can happily be ‘busy’ reading a book, is a shamefully lazy idler. ?

I’ve loved - well that’s a stretch - liked, lockdown for that reason. I can snuggle up and read for hours with nobody to say I should be doing something. Nothing to do so ?‍♀️ It’s a joy. Particularly if I have a big walk in the morning, home for lunch, then I’ve earned my big read ?

On then retirement course, we were told "You are about to start on the longest holiday of your life"
We have different interests, so we pursue them, but value the time and interests that we spend together, and try to make the most of it.

Our separate interests do encourage either of us to develop a relationship with anyone of the opposite sex, so little danger there, of us growing apart.

I would think having a partner/wife/otherwise who is happy for you to travel without them for weeks at a time would be an absolute Godsend for most people. As someone else said, we don't know how long you two have been together but, as the saying goes, "opposites attract". If you left this person to find a travel companion, I feel you would regret ot later. If you didn't regret it then I would say "yes, you are being selfish" especially in these uncertain times.

If my husband wanted to travel extensively without me ( more than just a weekend) I would tell him to sod off permanently and I think he would do the same to me. Different strokes for different folks.

It feels like harder work in retirement,I tire quicker,yes it's sometimes quiet,the demands of the tech age life stress me out more,I have less tolerance for rich idiots who create incompetent govt websites,driving I tire quicker and with covit around it's more dangerous

so many aspects to this. Your partner is not retired yet. Did she ever enjoy travel? How much of a deal breaker is it? Do you do anything together? Does your partner not like travelling or is it that she prefers being at home? Are there aspects of the kind of travel that you enjoy that she hates? My sister does american tours and loves them, I would LOATHE all the moving around and packing and unpacking. If this one thing is making you think of breaking the relationship then how much do you actually love her?

I think Rubicon has gone.

Maybe he has gone away on holiday for 10 weeks

If you were wealthy, you'd have a companion paid to keep you company on a platonic basis. They're called walkers. Otherwise there are clubs for people to travel on their own. You could investigate that?

I’m 61 and still working full time in a very tiring job. However my weekends I’m keen to potter but when I retire I hope to do more than that. My husband reaches retirement before me and has decided to keep working even part time as we need the funds as well. Different ages and different needs all need to be spoken about.

When my husband was alive he REFUSED to go anywhere (apart from occasionally back to the UK to visit his aged mother) ...I think maybe because he had travelled the world in the Navy and then in his work ......he didn't mind if I went off somewhere for a week or two ...now he had died (after four years of caring for him) I go (OR DID before COVID !) all over the place alone ....does get a bit lonesome when no one speaks to you and I sometimes feel like hanging a notice round my neck declaring I AM NOT after your husband .....would just like a chat to you as a couple ...ha ha ...I think I will try that ! I like to go around and explore on my own, take boat trips, excursions, walking etc I just had an e mail from my Travel Agent with an offer for the Seychelles ,,,,,,,,,,,aargh ! BORING ....I am waiting to see if my trip to Antarctica will still be going in November. Russia overland is in the balance as no visas as being issued, and the Russian embassy tells me they may decide to allow only direct flights in but won't decide until June (by which time I will not have the necessary 90 days to obtain the visa !) ........same applies to a proposed trip to Samarkand, overland by the Sapsan train .....so it will have to be a beach chair on the beach one minute from me in the UK next to the beach cafe ............c'es la vie

Sounds wonderful. I completely agree re travelling alone. It can be lonesome and other women always think you’re after their man!!! And/or man thinks you’re fair game ?. Annoys me intensely.

JaneJudge

Maybe he has gone away on holiday for 10 weeks

??