Meeting other like minded people

Hi Molly
We are much in the same boat as you,
Would love to make friends with you.
All the people on here are friendly .

Junie

It is hard making new friends.
If you have a common interest it helps. It’s easier to chat about something which isn’t personal.I’ve met lots of folk now having a dog.
Also the U3A when we can meet up is brilliant as there are various interest groups.
Developing a friendship takes time but having a shared interest can give you an excuse to go somewhere for an hour or two if there’s a show on or a walk you’d like to do.
Good luck.

I have found a couple of friends through YOURS magazine where you can ask for friends locally or further afield. One lady I wrote to has become a firm pal as has her husband and mine, we meet up for lunch and have shared cruise holidays to. You have to make a first step though..

Saying “I went out looking for friends and none could be found, I went out to be a friend and friends where every where”

Good luck

I've lost touch with all my friends over the last twenty years. They all moved to various parts of the country before the days of emails. We kept in touch by phone for a while (expensive before the days of mobiles) and cards for a longer while but that eventually tailed off. I would love to be in a friendship group, if I knew how to find one! for emailing and, post pandemic restrictions, meeting up.

I.have made friends through volunteering for local charities and through local forums on line. There might even be local a local gransnet group.you could get in.touch with. Try the local.church even.if you aren't churchgoers. They know what is going on locally and they won't mind or shouldn't. My daughter isn't but was welcomed into their choir. Try lots of things, they won't all work but a couple might and then you are launched. Good luck!

Jeannie59

I joined Gransnet to chat to others and My posts never get posted or replied to
So I am wondering if this site is as clichey, as the outside world

Really. I just looked at a post you put up and there were over 40 reply’s. But not one thank you from you to the posters who had taken the trouble to help/advise.
That was just one post you put up. There are others where you got replies.

I find the hardest part in making friends is moving areas just before lockdown, to a part of the country (I returned from France) I had never lived in before ! Had just joined the local concert hall, two clubs, volunteering for the NHS hospital shop locally (too old for the injection roll out !) but lockdown happened before I got my interview ...all clubs and concert hall closed down. Consequence, I met no one and being on my own it is getting seriously tedious ! Luckily I moved to the coast, so at least I have the seagulls to feed (dont tell any one ! but they seem to be the only living thing I communicate with every day ).....all holidays cancelled, trips back to France cancelled, visits to 'family' in Germany and Menorca, cancelled ! e mail and phone just isn't the same ................as soon as any travel ban is lifted I am off ...don't care WHERE to life is getting seriously lonely

Covid has made it difficult to join up or join in clubs and societies and activities, or meet anyone for coffee. Zoom meetings are not that great for complete newcomers. The Nextdoor app is good for online local community news /gossip and you can ask neighbours for information via the app.. You down load the app from Goggle Play for Android phones, or the apple store for iPhones.
Village halls and parish councils websites often have lists of activities in the area, which will resume after Covid restrictions are lifted. Your local or county council will often have clubs and activities listed on its website.
I recommend that you join separate activities initially as it can be hard going along as a couple, to break the ice. You can always take your other half once you have got to know a couple of people in a group.
I am on my own and moved house and job last summer and have found it lonelier than I expected as I'm now working from home and in a new neighbourhood and not meeting new work colleagues either. However the lighter evenings are ahead and we should be out off lockdown by end of May, if the numbers of cases continue to drop so I am optimistic that I will find new friends and will resume my art group friendships soon.. I am hoping to find a gardening club, but so far no luck.

'
Before Covid I joined an outdoor group, did parkrun, did couch25k, joined an art group, and started cycling and swimming after a very long gap.. I was beginning to make friends but lockdown and social.distancing has made it difficult but I did find lots to do.

ALANaV Oh that sounds so difficult for you. Just sod's law isn't it.

I definitely recommend U3A and Meetup.

Have you tried things like Book Group? One of the ones I go to has a married couple in it and they fit in beautifully.

Have you thought of volunteering?

I agree with some of the posts about people not reading
the question.The OP said she couldn’t have children not that she didn’t want any.
It’s very hurtful to insinuate that is’ their own fault for not
having any children.

I agree no one ever replies to my comments or posts I thought same as other contributor why bother but at least my post is out there somewhere Good to read others comments

The fact that someone hasn't explicitly replied to your post doesn't mean it hasn't been read and appreciated. I would say that the majority of everybody's posts are not explicitly replied to.

Quite often when mine are ignored it is clear that no-one was interested in what I had to say, which seems quite reasonable, other times I can see that although the post wasn't directly acknowledged my views have influenced other people's posts, and sometimes I know my post has been read because it is followed by a flurry of people disagreeing with me, which always amuses me.

The best way to make new friends is to join clubs etc. eg. a book group in your town/village or at your local library. Also go to your nearest National Trust house and volunteer. They are always looking for new volunteers and it's interesting and fun, and you meet lots of different people. I have been doing this for 10 years, just one day a week, and have met some lovely people. I met my two best friends at NT and they have kept me going throughout this awful past year. Give it a try just one day a week, if you don't like it just leave. No obligation.

I would guess that there are more people in similar situation to you and your DH than you realise.
Not everyone has family on their doorstep these days and what about those that are single or divorced without children ?
As others have said, it will most likely through your individual interests that you will make new friends and as things start to open up (hopefully) volunteers will be needed in a variety of positions.
Do the two of you have a particular interest ? You may well find that your community group on Facebook will most likely be the place to go to. Just ask by making a comment if there is a group for whatever it is you enjoy and you will either get a yes reply, along with contact details or replies from other people that would like to join a group - so start one! You may well find that it takes a bit longer to form friendships than when you were younger, but don't give up. If one thing doesn't work, just try another. Good Luck !

My husband joined a bowling club and made loads of friends. Some of them have rubbed off onto me and I had lunch with a couple of the ladies.

I'm not interested in bowling but we socialise with another bowling couple. At the moment we are having the occasional walk with them and their dog. In normal times, we have a meal with them at the local pub.

Hopefully the bowling will be allowed to start again soon and he will be off on his own!

I was pottering in my front garden when I was hailed by a young woman who was walking past. She was talking into her phone and informed me she was Face Timing her mother in Canada.”Oh, my son is married to a Canadian” I commented, which started a conversation. Without going into details she has recently moved into a house quite close by, is a widow with a small son. I liked her immediately and told her that when lock down was over I would be inviting her for afternoon tea. This was a serendipitous meeting which may turn into a friendship - who knows? My advice is to try to smile & chat to people, also to join any societies you fancy. The U3A has saved my sanity, BUT, when I joined all the groups were full bar one, which wasn’t to my taste, so I started one of my own which has led to my meeting some marvellous women. The open lectures offer the opportunity to meet others when they start up again. Don’t despair, there are likeminded people out there.

I too would suggest volunteering when we are allowed again. Most of my post-retirement friendships revolve around U3A, the RVS and a museum where I volunteer (normally). All three have social events, Christmas and summer parties etc as well as the volunteering. It does take a while though. I was working at the museum for a couple of years before any friendships moved outside of the job. Amazingly I found a new friend in lock-down through volunteering on a Covid help group, totally unexpected. We havent made any new friends as a couple though. I guess its a bit harder to find two people who both of you like, but we are joining the Ramblers when it starts up again and they tend to have shared lunches. I can hardly wait! A tramp across the fields and a lunch in a pub with other people sounds like the ultimate luxury at the moment.

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1293539-Meeting-other-like-minded-people?pg=3#
AlanVa we're in a similar situation as we moved Nov 19 to the coast where we did have 2 friends. The dog had pups a week after we moved in so it was chaotic for a time, with family visiting as well. We just started to get chatting to neighbours when everything locked down, so no chance of making any local friends. Even dog walking here people tend to keep a good distance as everyone is afraid of catching the virus. Our pup we kept is poorly socialised because nobody wanted to chat or cuddle and say hello to her when she was young. Hopefully when pubs and restaurants open we will make some friends here.

MollyAA12
Its even more difficult now during Covid restrictions but well done for reaching out. We are not a busy household but find lots to keep us occupied. Recently reconnected with old friends some from work some from school. Local council sites are sometimes useful for local activities, Church groups the same. Lots of volunteer opportunities if thats your thing. Sports ...Bowls, tennis,badmington etc there may be local groups and often social activities follow.Are you on any of the social network sites as there is a huge variety of groups that you can link with and cherrypick which you want to explore further. I have developed an interest in local history for instance and chat on the phone to a couple of people locally who have knowledge to share. As for the no children bit I think a friend found is a friend to cherish regardless of any differences in your lives. Its our differences that makes life diverse and interesting . Good luck.

Joining the U3A is definitely on my retirement planning list for a few years time! I've read up about our local group as I'd been trying to persuade my Dad to join after he moved here from the south coast when Mum died.

Our local country parks have a team of volunteers who help the Rangers one day a week.

A friend volunteers at the local hospital: meet and greet and helping people find out where they need to go.

Lots of other good suggestions already Molly ?

There's a lady here who walks dogs for elderly people who aren't too mobile, so can't get out and about easily.

She won't take any payment (except tea and cakes etc. when we weren't in lockdown) as she's retired and wants to do it.

She knows everyone and has loads of friends - so there's an idea for anyone at a loose end.

We too have no grandchildren and would love some new friends. I have sent you a message Molly. We live in the North of England if anyone else is in the same boat.

MollyAA12 - you absolutely must meet up with other people separately from each other - as a grief therapist I have known many people in similar situations to yourself - not everybody has children so there are lots of people who are 60+ in your situation but if you remain in each other's company and seek out friends who are couples in the same situation you are onto a loser because when one of you dies you will be exceptionally lonely and the chances are that your 'couple' friends will not hang around for long. My strong suggestion is that you and your husband develop new interests that allow you to make your own friends as well as couples friends. Volunteering is a great way - fostering is another and whatever you might think you're not too old to do that. It's about putting new things in your lives and widening your network of contacts. Good luck.

Have a look at the app Meetup. They have loads of groups in all areas. I have just started walking with a small group in my area. Took my husband who enjoyed it as well. Not just walking but meeting up for coffee, lunch, bookclubs, trips etc all when the country opens up. It only costs £5 to join and no commitment.