Would love to find a partner

I’m 66 happily single after a traumatic marriage. Would never be a couple again ( I have been asked) Love being on my own , the love of my life now is my beautiful cat?

Men are not after sex/ a carer. What a horrible sexist attitude.

I speak only from experience (not my own) about men needing someone to care for them.

What a prize example of misandry, from Hillwalker. I have never had any wish to find another partner in the 34 years since my divorce, If one came along, all well and good, but I've never gone all out to find one. I would never use such language about a relationship - even about my ex - as Hillwalker has used on this thread.

It is obviously within guidelines anno

How strange are these guidelines?
This language is deemed acceptable, but quoting (verbatim) a poster who admits they do not necessarily write the truth and asking how important honesty is to them, is seen as “bullying”.

I fet the impression that it was reported anno but still remains on the thread.

Otherwise the posts on that thread seemed very helpful.

Get not fet!!

Well there’s nothing gentle about your comment hillwalker.
Sounds like you have never been in love in your life.
I am uninterested in sex myself now, but there are embers...
Caring for someone means not only sex but the joys of companionship and hopefully, shared interests.
I have a male companion I see regularly but do not wish to live with a man again after being widowed in 2016 but we are all different and require different things.

I agree Hetty. I cared for my husband who got afflicted with every ailment known to man (slight exaggeration) and felt my own health going downhill.
There’s nothing worse than seeing someone you love going downhill, worse than being ill oneself. Bereavement is the hardest thing we go through, so not putting myself through that again for a husband or live in partner.
My cat is asleep by my side and that’s enough!

Please see Apologies, Chat.

hillwalker70 maybe you, and others, are not interested in sex nor enjoy it but there are others who do enjoy it, have a mutually satisfactory and satisfying sex life even into their later years. That includes a couple I know of, in their mid-80's, who both enjoy it. Don't scorn those who do.

Sex is not everything but companionship and love can mean a lot to those who want someone in their life. Sex, if it comes into the equation and is mutual thing, is a bonus.

I think most men are looking for sex. When I was younger I dated 2 widower over the years and both thought they would never have sex again. They were both very keen to get back into a relationship and I was shocked to learn later that in both cases their wives had only been dead 6 weeks!

Best to join something that nice types of men go to. EG allotments, old aeroplanes, old cars, car maintenance, cricket club, Humanists, B and Q.

I used to take an old man,80s out for a drive and coffee and meet up with his friends.He had a younger vulnerable girl who also took him out and it was obvious from his chat that he was interested in her. He used to ask me about relationships and hugged me when we parted.He even suggested that he could take me to Morocco and share a room. He was a very interesting old boy and recently a friend told me he had tried all the ladies in the tennis club even though he had a wife that he never mentioned.

I have a friend in her 80’s , widowed now for 7 years who told me recently she had advances made twice fairly recently from men she knew very well.
One still married ,one single.
She let them down gently, both were embarrassed .
It made me wonder if some people send out signals, very innocently that others misinterpret.

I think men misinterpret friendliness. One good friend tried to grab and kiss me when I bought him round to give him plants for the garden.Another from a coffee group called me back and asked if I wanted to be his girlfriend, both married, quite embarrassing.

Hillwalker, what a crude offensive post. If that's the way you express yourself and think of men, they should stay clear. . I don't seek another partner, my experience of love is nothing like yours thank goodness.

No, apparently it isn't offensive. Furthermore, apparently I have a problem because I find it offensive.

It's a pity to feel as she does, love is not just sex, it's companionship, shared sense of humour, putting each other first, being comfortable with each other, respect and a love of being a couple. I do get lonely on my own, loss does that yo you, but I have a happy full life on my own although it would be nice to have a male friend it has to be right. I was so lucky in my marriage.

What I miss, and am unlikely to find is the person who knows exactly where I am coming from, with whom I can be completely frank, with whom I have shared the last 53 years with all its ups and downs, and who is as close to me as my right arm.
Love may come late in life (look at Jill Archer and her Leonard) but you cannot replicate all those years when you effectively grew up together, became a family and saw your children grow up and have their own families.
However, I realise that I have been privileged to have that view of a relationship.
So, a partner? Not necessarily - the partner, ah well.

Well said MawB that’s the gold standard of marriage isn’t it,
Am lucky to have that myself.
So much so, that I wouldn’t even attempt another future relationship.

I do have two good friends who have found happiness with a new husband the second time around though, both in their sixties, so if it’s what you want, it can be achieved.