Starting over at 60

I split from my ex at 60, not very amicably as he wanted every penny he could get his hands on but not only have I survived I have thrived. I do have 2 private pensions to live on but have to wait for my state pension till next year. I don't live frugally and have spent quite a lot since he departed on updating my house, something he was always reluctant to do. I'm unable to work due to my ever increasing mobility issues. I certainly don't waste money but my priorities are different from the ex's so currently future proofing the house in case my disabilities become too much for me. There are plenty of articles online to educate yourself with regarding pensions etc. such as the money advice service. Tbh I can't believe how much we used to spend each month with not a lot to show for it compared to how little I spend these days with so much more to show for it. Personally I love being on my own, never having lengthy debates about every purchase. Just buying what I need when I need it with no one else to consider but me. Life is so much better and I'm sure yours will be too.

What a lovely upbeat message, thank you so much FlexibleFriend, though I'm sorry you had such a tough start to it. I'm just hoping the early signs are real in my case, I think he's still a bit in denial so time will tell. Though as he is much better off financially than me I doubt he'll be looking for money in my direction.. anyway it's so uplifting to read of the joys of independence and decision making, I've missed that. And having raised my kids to be great, independent and loving adults I didn't need a grown man to look after and drag me down when the nest was empty! Hindsight is a wonderful thing... and a crystal ball would've been useful.

Thanks for the recommendation about that website, I'll take a look. I admire your indendence and the determination and contentment that shine through your message despite challenging circumstances.

Check with HMRC - helpful website - if you can top up your state pension contributions and, if so, how much.

I've had to start again on several occasions - the hardest thing is moving away from a familiar pattern of life, to a new one and learning how to cope with that.

In my case, as with yours, moving across the world into an unfamiliar culture.

I re-invented myself each time; saw my sons grow up and go on to be successful, while retaining my own independence and joie d 'vivre.

Just remember to ask for, and insist upon as much advice and support as you can from official agencies and advocates who will bounce them if they don't give you what you need.

Make new friends if you're moving. Cherish old ones if you are not, for therein lies your comfort.

Sixty is no age at all. My mother was 75 and in poor health when she moved 13,000 km - well out of her comfort zone!

If you have dark days when you wonder if it is all worth it, just remember the answer is 'Yes' and : 'This too will pass...'

It always does.

Thanks dinahmo, I've worked out how to maximise the state pension that I can get, although I'll have to wait till I get the money from my French house to be able to pay for extra years to make it up... you can only pay for the previous six years maximum though so I won't get the full amount. But it'll make all the difference ?

Thanks so much for your lovely words, BradfordLass! They have reminded me of the way that my independence and joie de vivre have been gradually eroded over the past few years. I'm looking forward to getting them back! Remaking my own joyous home. Having family around whenever I want. Making new friends, yes! We only moved to this town earlier this year, and with one thing or another I haven't been able to make time to join anything or start any activities in any regular way. Lots to do in this vibrant town (not far from your next of the woods, or at least the one in your name ?).

I could almost cry with the relief of moving on! And I hope that will make the dark days a little easier, along with your kind words reminding me that this, too shall pass.

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Wow! WharfendaleGran - you could be me. I have just come out of a relationship where we lived in France. I intend to settle back in UK where we had a home which alas I now have to move out of as my husband is insisting on his half. Fortunately I also have another property back in London where I will have to live (and work now, as I have no pension for a few years). This has caused much friction and unpleasantness as my daughter and family are having to move out, so that I can move in. I will have to live frugally for ever!! I can do this! I can manage my life, but am still struggling with not having a partner/companion. Heigh Ho!

Hi grannysue, small world, as we say! Your situation really resonates with me, though I guess it’s even tougher to live frugally in London than it is here in Yorkshire. Do you miss France? I do terribly sometimes, although I’m glad to be back near my eldest daughter and within a train ride of the others (in London ?).
Wishing you well with the moving and working and general rebuilding of life. As for me, I’m almost enjoying making plans for the future, even silly little steps of defiance such as buying a Penguin mug with “a room of ones own” on it!
Keeps me going on the tough days.

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Hi SillyG (I'm sure you're not btw!! ?) and sorry I missed your message. I am really looking forward to the feeling of freedom that you're enjoying, it feels like I'm stuck in treacle at the moment but I know that it will come to an end, hopefully sooner rather than later.

I think we've given up similar things but as you say it is a small price, and I'm looking forward to a simpler life, enjoying the things which are important and meaningful again.

Onwards and upwards! Wishing you well in your new season ?