Frequency

We are both 74. I suppose we have sex 3-4 times a month

If both partners are in agreement then it’s quite possible in an otherwise loving relationship.

Yes, we’ve been blissfully celibate for about 10 years now. There’s freedom in being celibate - it’s just doing all the usual and normal ‘life’ things together but sex doesn’t come into it .

Glorybee - May I inquire as to how old you and your partner were when the sex waned? We are late 50’s.

Late 60s. He is still keen. I am not. Have fibromyalgia and its just not comfy and back pain after. So I have managed to reduce it to maybe every 8 weeks . He keeps dropping hints grrr!
I prefer a cuddle anyway. Much nicer.

Because DH is severely disabled, sex doesn't come into our marriage any longer and it doesn't bother us, although we do miss the closeness. However, we remain loving, enjoy a kiss and telling one another that we do still love one another to bits!

DH has prostate cancer. I have two artificial hips and have recently been very ill after a repair operation which became infected. We have not had relations for quite a few years now but that has not changed our relationship. We still love each other very much, are the best of friends and enjoy our life together. We have good friends, lovely GC and a very supportive and delightful son and daughter. Life is what you make it!

We both early 60’s still very much together, cuddle, hold hands but my husband has not instigated “relations” in several years. Life at home is busy so it’s only when we are away on holiday we will prioritise us.

I’m 60 now, my husband is 67 but has a heart condition (but is quite healthy in other respects and usually walks 4 miles a day 5 days a week). We always had a good sex life but it waned after his heart trouble. We are both retired and he is completely faithful so there’s no question of him going elsewhere!

My life is totally different. Was married for 20+ years. My husband became impotent so we were celibate for quite a number of years prior to his death. I found this a difficult time but then remained celibate for another 11 years. Am now in a new relationship in my 70s and the physical side of our life couldn't be better.

Sex shouldn't be the " be all and end all " in a marriage. It never was in mine/ours as we had other interests and that remained firmly at the bottom of the list but it was never an issue at all.

I've been a widow for over 25 years and have never felt the need. To me, it's not important and I've never gone looking for another partner because I don't want one. As far as I'm concerned I did my duty as a wife and mother and wouldn't wish for a repeat performance.

I'd think before posting such details. I've not seen previous posts by this poster. Just saying...

We haven't had sex for the last 6 years and I don't miss it one bit! I am 67 and hubby is 65 and he has recently retired. It got painful for me after the menopause and we just gave up. We never mention it and he "seems" ok with the situation. To be honest I am glad that we don't have sex as I feel more relaxed.

Thankyou Jane 10

oh, Jane 10 and TrendyNannie6... sad that we can`t talk about a subject that is so very important to many people

I can`t talk to people here, well a very close friend, but I don`t feel the need to.... my dh and I have been married for nearly 50 years,, had a good sex life,,, suited us, then he had illness, and I guess became impotent,, whatever that means, he didn`t want to talk about it, I respected his feelings,
at first I missed our sex life,, then became used to it.. I like to think we have a very loving relationship...must be 30 years nearly, I don`t know, I don`t count,,, the present moment is what is important, and the fact that we love one another,,

sex is not love... despite what many "youngsters" and the media says.. LOL

I suppose we have sex 3-4 times a month
An opportune thread to re-cycle one of GreatNan's jokes!

^"An elderly couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time.
Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married.
Before the wedding they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work.
They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on.
Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship.
"How do you feel about sex?" he asked, rather tentatively
"I would like it infrequently" she replied.
The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment ...
adjusted his glasses, and leaned over towards her and whispered
'Excuse me, but is that one word or two?'"^

I demand it twice on Thursday afternoons. Once on Wednesdays. Three times on Sunday while the family do the washing up. And a quickie every Monday morning.

And this is DH looking worried.

Intrusive or what?
Do people really share this sort of information on a public forum - or even with close friends?
How about bowel motions ? Waxing? Washing underwear?
#Icantbelieveyouareaskingthiseither

umm, we usually begin our day with sex. We are in our 50's and I don't see it ending any time soon. I cannot imagine our life together without it. And whatever works for each couple is what is important. It is fun and this is not what has kept our 33 year marriage together. But the closeness is wonderful. There, I said it. I don't tell anyone I know because everyone seems to think every day at our age is odd. it is not! My nurse practitioner at the gun office called me "her hero!"

oops-gyn

A futile question really. What does it matter what other couples do? I can't see how knowing what other people do will make you happier or... unhappier for that matter! If you were happy you would not be asking the question so clearly you are not in which case you need to speak with your husband about it.

Can a marriage be truly happy without sex? I would say - absolutely - so long as both couples are on the same page. If you are festering resentment then no (obviously)

Exactly Maw I am astounded what people will share with strangers on an open forum.

* not BOTH couples - I meant both partners!

I am 56 and my husband is 62. We have never had the most passionate of relationships but it was at its best in my late 30s-early 40s. Now we only have sex about once a month, because he always seems too tired and is worried about age affecting 'performance', I feel unattractive if he doesn't seem interested, and we are both stressed up to the eyeballs coping with my unreasonable elderly mother. I have said I would like us to be closer, but it seems to fall on deaf ears. Maybe familiarity has bred contempt... We live like affectionate friends now, which makes me a bit sad.