Mean Mums

Yes, I was a 'mean' Mum, 'meaner' than my own mother. I suspect it was my character, being more like my Dad than my Mum, rather than any sort of conscious choice to be 'mean' . My sons have all grown up to be wonderful people, though - kind, considerate, good-mannered, law abiding and holding down steady jobs. And I have a good relationship with them so I think I did ok!

I had a mean mum, who, I'm quite sure had me micro chipped! I could never lie and say I was somewhere when I'd actually been somewhere else (that was I was forbidden to go!) because she always knew! I found that out the hard way....

I had a mean mom, infact a very cruel one, I was beaten with a leather strap and a long cane, when I was 6 yrs old I went to school with splits on the back of my legs that were bleeding and no one questioned it this was in the 1940s. my mother always told me she didn't want me and hated little girls. she tried to strangle me while I was a little girl and she got sent to a psychiatric prison for several months this didn't cure her as she threatened to smother me with a pillow while I slept..you can imagine the state of my small mind...she was a war widow and blamed me for spoiling her life. When I was older she said she hated children and never every wanted children. she constantly told me she wished I had been killed in the war. I grew up without love and a very lonely little girl. I left school at 15 and went to work where I met my husband to be. He was 12 yrs. older than me and a widower. We married and my life became the same as when I was a child he beat me and constantly referred to his dead wife as though I was to blame. I am 78yrs old and now a widow of 20yrs. despite the amount of people I know and all the groups I belong to. I still feel lonely. and realised that I have never been loved. But my lovely daughter and son have grown up fine sensible adults and I gave them lots of love and confidence. And they are happily married. I know they love me as they tell me so...but I still feel I don't fit in anywhere...I am confident and intelligent and outgoing, but still have this unwanted feeling...does anyone else feel this way.

Oh I am so sad to read of your unhappiness Cecelialilian, Yes I know from a family member how some feelings never leave you, but please be so proud of yourself for breaking the pattern & bringing up your own wonderful children. I was once told the best gift you can give to yourself is to love yourself, so you hold your head up & give yourself the love & respect you deserve, sincere best wishes to you & others who have suffered similarly.

I would strongly recommend that you consider counselling. It sounds as if you've been dealing with abuse for most of your life. A licensed therapist may be able to help.