My parents-in-law were great people and so are my sons-in-law and my daughter-in-law. Lets hear it for the silent majority.

I agree, Elegran.
I have no complaints about any of them (from our 4 adult children.)
In fact I'm grateful to them, because we've tended to be inlaws in absentia.

My in laws were lovely too. After my husband died and I remarried those who should have been my parents in law were dead. I think I would have liked them though from the stories told.
Hopefully I am not too bad - as DiL tells me - she is using tales from friends as a yardstick! And DD's now divorced husband still meets me for coffee and sends text messages 14 years after the divorce.

My in-laws were also great people and friends with my own parents so we had some wonderful parties with them all. I love my two DIL's - they are taking good care of my sons and grandchildren too

Yay !! A positive post about these relationships. We almost feel guilty to say our families are happy together most of the time -some hiccups for all of us I'm sure. I always had a good relationship with my in laws, sadly they are all dead now. My children are not estranged from each other or me. I count myself lucky but also had to work at it.
I'm so sorry for the people with family problem puts my minor concerns in perspective.
Let's hear it for happy families too.

My MIL is one of my best mates. We holidayed together year after year . Had a ball. We just get each other

Excellent post Elegran.
I have written often about my wonderful parents-in-law, we are very close and I'm fortunate to count them both as friends. They are inspirational people and quite frankly I often say that if I'd met them first I would have married their son just to have them as parents-in-law.
One son-in-law is in NZ so we don't have the opportunities to get together that I have with my other son-in law, but I have really good relationships with both. My daughter-in-law has been close to the family since she was seven years old, when she and my son first met, and we get on really well. Happily my sons and daughters are also very supportive of one another and we make time throughout the year to get together to maintain our relationships. Cross-generational family holidays have been key to this and now that our children are adults with children they still enjoy holidays with grandparents and great-grandparents.

I never really knew my PiL due to distance we hardly ever saw them and they both died within the first few years of our marriage.
H and my mum loved each other. Dad was a very quiet man and didn't say much but they got along fine too. H would have done anything for mum and did after dad died 32 yrs ago. Mum came on holiday with us every year all the time she was able and it was him who invited her.

Thank you for your replies. When there are reports of unhappy relationships on GN, others who have had similar experiences reply with theirs. I believe that the good experiences should also get "airtime".

Mine were wonderful too. They raised a son ready for me to marry, and handed him over to me without any resentment. On the contrary, they welcomed me into their family as a daughter, as my parents welcomed him as another son.

I did the same with my children. I knew that they would leave their childhood home and make one of their own, with their chosen partner, but that I had no need to resent their partner because they would still love me and their father. Love is not a limited, scarce commodity. The more of it is given away, the more flows back.

Posters sometimes post views like that on threads where someone has been telling about their bad relationships. The response is often that they are "boasting" over their own good fortune and good management of their family - no, it is not something to boast about, it is something to be eternally grateful for, and to publicise. The fact is, most families get on well together and have the insight to see potential pitfalls and avoid them.

My PIL was a little tyrant, so the less said about him the better!

But I have 3 sons-IL who are gems. They love my DDs and nurture their families - and treat my OH and I with respect and kindness. Could not ask for more!!

I have two daughters and three son in laws ? Love them very much

I had eight grandparents (because I was adopted ) and as far as I know they all got on fine with each other, with my parents and with a ragbag of adopted siblings. Certainly I was very happy!
I adored my excentric and sometimes exasperating MIL and we became even closer after my husband died.
My children have chosen good partners and I am grateful for this.
I have a new relationship too and it never occurred to me for a moment that they wouldn't welcome something that made me happy.
I'm fortunate to have been surrounded by people who thought of other people's happiness as well as their own

My late mother in law was a darling and adored my son. We stayed great friends even when I got divorced. She even got on well with my new partner who I met a few years later.
She had the most infectious laugh I’ve ever heard and I miss her terribly.
My grandson’s mother however is a different matter.

My late mother in law was a darling and adored my son. We stayed great friends even when I got divorced. She even got on well with my new partner who I met a few years later.
She had the most infectious laugh I’ve ever heard and I miss her terribly.
My grandson’s mother however is a different matter.

My DH always says he'd never dare hurt me cos he's too scared of his Mam !! Haha

My DH always says he'd never dare hurt me cos he's too scared of his Mam !! Haha

Me too - but of course we are going to hear more from those with problems, and I am glad that they have a place to express their distress.
It may also be useful to think about what makes these relationships good. Personally:
I start from believing that we expect it to be good
I don't take offence from slightly careless remarks
I look for what is good, comment when appropriate and build on it
See them often enough to keep the relationship, not so much we're likely to get on each other's nerves
Let them know how much they mean to me, but try not to over-egg it!
Understand that they will not do things the same as me, but that is not a problem- we all bring different ideas to the family.

I've always said ( and taught my 3 DC ), treat others how you want to be treated yourself. It really works if you stick to that. If others don't stick to that then I politely point that out to make THEM understand . I have no friends because I had my first baby very early in my life and they all dwindled . All my friends are family and that's fine by me. They can't have been very good to begin with .

I've always said ( and taught my 3 DC ), treat others how you want to be treated yourself. It really works if you stick to that. If others don't stick to that then I politely point that out to make THEM understand . I have no friends because I had my first baby very early in my life and they all dwindled . All my friends are family and that's fine by me. They can't have been very good to begin with .

Good thread Elegran.

I found my mother-in-law difficult, but in retrospect, it was more to do with my youth and defensiveness, than her. So very different from anyone I had ever met. Eccentric, very intelligent and outspoken. Scared the living daylights out of me! My father -in-law was deeply kind. I’d love to meet them again, as I am now.

My sons are married to lovely young women, and it has been a real pleasure to see how they have all grown into mature adults with happy children.

No idea what my daughters-in-law really think of me, but we are all respectful and kind to one another. The fact that they are instrumental in the happiness of my sons goes a very long way. Long may that last.

I could not wish for a better DiL or SiL. I am so grateful that my children have such lovely partners.
I liked my MiL but was sorry for her as my FiL was a dirty old man. . Us girls knew to steer well clear of him

Yes I find that I get on better with my SIL better than my two DIL S. Simply because they want their Mums to be no: 1 gran. They sort of keep me at a distance. That's fine by me. I understand that girls are close to Mums as adults. I'm not treading on anyone's toes .

My sons are on to it. They just come and see Mum with babies on their own. Then DIL gets a break and everyone's happy.

Good post Elegran
I have had a sort of turn of fortunes re my mother in law.

Up until a couple of years ago we had a very Rocky relationship.
However with the onset of dementia we have managed to turn our relationship around and I now help to look after her and can have a pleasant visit
This is something that I would never have contemplated had her whole persona not changed with the onset of dementia.
So as they say very cloud......

I can now say I have a good relationship with my MiL

I have a lovely daughter and son in law. I am happy that we all get on so well and enjoy spending time together when we can.They are just nice people and I love having them as part of our family.