unfaithful husband

redliz

Whoa! You say that your don't share a bed with him and haven't for several years - is that your decision or his? Because if it's your decision then why would you be surprised that he is having an affair? You seem to be very keen to keep your financial entitlements but less so to provide the natural comfort of marriage by being close to him. However, if it is his decision to sleep separately then you obviously do have cause to be concerned about the financial arrangements.
I say this from personal experience as my husband has refused to have hardly any form of physical contact from the time we got married nor would he discuss it but he made it clear - sometimes with aggression - that there would not be a divorce so we have stayed living in this limbo for over 40 years! We get on well as friends but it is not the relationship I wanted and so I too had a longstanding affair which filled the gap both for myself and my lover without interfering with our successful family lives. It was not how I would have wished it but that's life - but are you sure he is having an affair? At 80 I would say that he's to be congratulated if he is!!! Have you thought about moving back into his bed and removing any reason for him to want an affair?

This is a hugely valid other perspective to be considered!

This thread is 10yrs old let it disappear now.

wot

And chilli power in his underpants,

Personally, my first action would be to get a sexual health check……..STI’s are certainly not restricted to the younger generation! Also, squirrel some money away, do this nonchalantly so it’s not so obvious

lizzypopbottle

As usual, I'm looking for facts and a balanced view.

www.gov.uk/divorce/grounds-for-divorce
www.justdivorce.co.uk/unreasonable-behaviour

Two interesting links about divorce. The first shows that, if you know who he's having the affair with, you have to start proceedings within six months of finding out. The second link (points l and m) show that the OP's husband has grounds for divorce too, since she won't sleep with him. Divorce is a very expensive process. Some say the only winners are the lawyers.

That is a very odd post .

In England and Wales, since 2022 the sole grounds for divorce are " Irretrievable breakdown of the relationship".

There is no need to provide reasons or evidence such as adultery, or unreasonable behaviour.

This thread is TEN YEARS OLD
If he’s still at it I’d say hide his blue pills - but seriously - we need to let it go.

BlueBelle

My word the 80 year old husband is now 90 I wonder how it all went 🙄

My thoughts exactly.

Let it go, let it go 🎶🎵🎶🎼
I have to sing it when I hear those words