Widowhood.

Try not to worry too much KatyK. My husband left in really late before he went to the doctors - too late for treatment. I hope you have a good result soon.

Marmite - you put it so well - the huge unspoken emptiness and no DH there to help me clear up the mess when the grandkids go home. They always trash the place as well and my son always texts to say "they had such a wonderful time at your house."

My grandson made me a grand-dad out of Lego - nearly broke my heart because it really sort of looked like him. A week or so later my grandson broke up the Lego grand-dad and I think it helped him to come to terms with things in his childlike way.

I guess this feeling will never go away and widows and widowers learn to live with it. My mother grieved for my dad for nearly 40 years.

for all who have lost their partners.

Fellow GN's I feel unqualified to offer a response. But may I send you love and .

This is my third and as we didn't have children I don't have the distraction of GC. I spent Christmas Day alone and started the day with a few tears but then remembered all the good times we had together and how he could always make me laugh. I can almost hear him telling me to cheer up and get on with life.

This is my twelfth and I'm just the same as all of you! Even my lovely GC don't change that.

I find I miss him more in the quiet after everyone has gone home than in the equally quiet everyday times when I am just as alone, but somehow more settled with it.

Falcon I know how you feel. KatyK .
This is my 3rd Christmas too and despite having 2/3 of my family here, I feel quite lost and really haven't got the oomph to do anything. The last 2 Christmases I was away so this is the first at home since J died. Opening all the decoration boxes which he and I last put away in 2012 was surreal. I was quite looking forward to getting this milestone ticked off, but with a house full of feral under 5's trashing every room in the house (Don't fuss Mum, it'll dry, when the bathroom floor is awash and leaking through to the hall beneath) cushions and seat pads off every sofa (there are 5) toys booby trapping every doorway, every surface covered in nappies, socks, books, half eaten sausage rolls...........not helped by me suffering from a horrible cough and feeling Very out of sorts. I love having them here, but it's not the same with out Grandad here to help. There's a big unspoken emptiness

Same here, Falconbird. It's okay when the family are around, but when they've all gone, it's lonely.

Falconbird - so sorry. It must be SO hard. My DH has cancer and has to be tested in February to see if his treatment has worked. I have to admit I am terrified.

So sorry to hear that Falconbird - it is so hard. Special events and anniversaries are the worst. Thinking of you and wishing you well.