I found husband looking at internet porn

mishap, Gramps has given no indication that he feels the need to change his behaviour - rather, he is justifying his position. Of course he wouldn't want any member of his family to be involved in the making of porn - what man would? It may be hypocritical, but he's not denying that.

I agree about the irrelevance of sex toys for women in this discussion. I don't think they come under the definition of 'porn', Gramps.

I suppose my overriding question would be to all males/females who indulge in online surfing of this subject would be- define porn. The how, the what and the why! Not, I think, a subject for this forum.

Overall, my personal view would be that it goes to a place that most people would find unacceptable.

So not denying being hypocritical makes it alright?

I don't think so.

Worse if anything.

I suspect the difference is 'gratification or relief' and how it is achieved rather than porn!
If it can be relieved by use of inanimate objects, then that is not porn.
If however it involves the exploitation of another person then this is porn.
If therefore, reading the karma sutra and using your imagination works, this is not porn!
If however you have to talk to or see another person who is paid. That is porn!

At least , that's how I see it! Do others agree?

The legal definition of pornography is 'the portrayal of sexual acts solely for the purpose of sexual arousal.' It doesn't have to result in payment, and there is some disagreement as to whether sexual acts filmed by one person in a couple and then used for their private sexual arousal and gratification without the other's consent can be called pornography. Inamimate objects are sometimes used in the filming of pornography. Consenting adults can film and participate in pornography. Talking to and watching prostitues for sexual gratification, and paying them for it, is not portnography, and is legal. It's rather difficult to define!

Yes, when, I don't think payment can be included in any definition of 'porn'.

No, it's certainly not alright jing;. I agree with you.

I was just trying to say that the concept of porn can be very personal, completely individual, - and within that there are areas that can be dreadful places.

Porn encompasses so many avenues, that it is probably best not to go there.

Yes but is sexual arousal natural? If so, and it is not achievable by normal methods, whatever they are? Should people be deprived of what is for most of us achievable by normal means not covered by the 'human rights 'act?
In other words. The right to have normal life?

I love this sort of discussion
If I'd been born male. I think I'd have been a Jesuit

I really must keep out of these discussions! Playing Devil's Advocate makes it seem as though I'm in favour of all kinds of things I'm actually not - I just tend to see both sides and end up being judged by both!

Same here

No, nag, you come over as being a clear thinker who doesn't like unreasonable bias.

Deviant sexual arousal can be argued to be deemed unnatural, although it is so common as to come within the range of normal! Many couples use pornography within their exclusive and private intimate relationship, and with consent.

Personally, I abhor pornography, whether it is 'soft' porn or hardcore, but I acknowledge that others have differing tastes and incorporate pornography into their lives routinely.

The issue for the OP is that one half of a couple has been found to be using it without the other's knowledge and consent. They have some talking to do, if they can.

Thanks, Bags

Hello,I'm a newcomer to your site and spotted this blog. Must say it amused me...sorry Pinkhater but the guys doing no harm in my eyes, in fact Good luck to him lol as long as everything else ticks along..no prob! Regarding Grrrranny's concern about a 'sticky' keyboard and mouse...perhaps he practices 'safe' sex....and covers them with cling-film ...Nice to meet you all !

weird?

Sounds like Pete is a banker

Yes, well.....moving on....!

Sperm?

Eh?

obviously typed in 'porn' and got Gransnet!

Sperm banks, emissions?

Horrible medical joke!
What is the difference between a male and a female?
There's a vas deferens!
(it's part of the male anatomy!)

Oh jeni! . That one was doing the rounds when I was studying for O level biology at Grammar school!

Got it jeni (the first one)

jeni