Sandgrownun
This is only sort of related but I didn't know where to post.
I'm still feeling really stressed about what happened a couple of hours ago.
My husband thought he saw someone walk down our drive so I went to look and there was a man coming out of our back garden. I was a bit scared and very cross. I shouted and told him to get out.
He then said something about looking for a dog. I said "you could've knocked on the door if you think your dog is in my garden".
He had to pass my front door and back door to get to the garden.
Then I saw three women coming from my garden. I admit I screamed at them to get out. I've never seen any of them before.
Once on the street it turned out my next-door-but-one neighbour had lost her dog and these people were looking for it. (It wasn't in my garden).
I told my neighbour that they just needed to knock at the door and I would have helped. I also said I would go and help now if wanted (she said no). I said just don't go in my garden without even knocking.
It's over but I'm still shaking. I feel like I'll be the talk of the village as the bad, shouty, old woman who didn't care about the missing dog (I do care, I would've gone straight out to search if asked).
I think I'm embarassed, not just by shouting at people but because the kitchen has a floor to ceiling window that you can see right in if you're in the garden and my husband doesn't always get dressed straight away (he's not weird, he may come down to get his meds before getting dressed, or may put his gardening clothes in the washer and be in the kitchen undressed).
The garden isn't tidy as my husband is working on things. He's building a fence and gate so the garden is completely fenced off but he's almost 70 and it will take him a long time to get it done. He's really cross about someone being in the garden.
I feel like our privacy counts for nothing and I dread bumping into neighbours as I'm sure it will be seen as me who's the problem. If no damage was done and it was just a bit of a fright for me perhaps everyone but me thinks it's okay to go into someone's back garden without asking.
How do I stop the uncomfortable feeling, not worry about being labelled 'the baddy' and not worry about other people thinking they're justified to be in my garden without even knocking on my door to ask me?
As a woman on my own I would have been very stressed by this and would probably have reacted just as you did. It is the people who were rude enough to intrude on your privacy and security who are in the wrong, not you, and they should be made very aware. Hold your head up and make your feelings known. You are not the problem.