Dog and wedding

MawB , just for a few photos so outside that’s all , that’s what I said
I thought this country was supposed to be a nation of dog-lovers !

kiki2

You must have missed past threads about dogs in cafes or hotels, not all GN’ers are dog lovers, let alone the rest of the nation!
?

As a dog owner /dog lover myself, I would say definitely do not take your dog to the wedding.
Leave early if you do not want to be away for too long it is unnecessary for the dog to go, just think how excited you will both be when you return to pick him up, that’s an experience that is priceless , best wishes.

Ps. Superimpose your little dogs image on to some wedding photos.

Oh FGS - I have heard everything now!

DO NOT under any circumstances take this b****y dog anywhere near this wedding or indeed your DI - ever.

"bring him out for the odd photo" - heaven preserve us - what lunacy is this?

I have two very much loved dogs but would never even think of taking either of them to a formal gathering of any kind,they would have a house sitter or go to kennels for a couple of days.
If you want a relationship with your future DIL I would rethink your plans or you will have very little contact with her and your son in the future.

This wedding is some distance away - are you staying overnight?
Who will be looking after the dog during the ceremony?
Why should your DIL who is not a dog lover want a picture with your dog?
Was your dog invited?
Why can’t you leave him behind either with a sitter or in kennels?
Ask yourself all of the above and think on, do you take your dog to
Dentist appointments
Doctors
Church
The cinema
Shopping
Get pictures of yourself and your H in your wedding finery with the dog by all means but this is not “Four Weddings and a Funeral”
Out of interest- is there a single reply that thinks it would be a good idea?

Excellent MawB, very good points

It's a dog!!
Find some nice kennels

I've only been to one wedding where a dog was in attendance; he belonged to the bride and followed her down the aisle!
It was the bride's prerogative to do that, just as it is this bride and groom's right to say no dogs!

I would never dream of taking any dog of mine where it was not wanted

Ps as you had considered taking him, what outfit were you planning to buy for him?

The dog I mentioned had a bow tie.

My DD1 had their reception at a country hotel where dogs were welcome. They looked after our dog while we were away at the ceremony. It was very informal at the hotel - in fact our pony joined us for drinks at the hotel afterwards - and I think there were four dogs all together. The only drawback was that our dog (a springer) managed to sneak into the kitchens!

BUT - Although our SiL is dog mad too there’s no way they’d have included animals at the ceremony. It’s a stressful time and if your future DiL says no animals (many couples also say no children - in fact we did) then you have to respect that. It’s her day and I’m sure she wants it to be perfect.

Also, many venues including most churches, won’t allow dogs. Are you intending to stand outside during the ceremony?

Given the stress on kindness (and, cough, unkindness), I find it somewhat surprising that it does not appear to have occurred to the OP that allowing her dog to appear at any point during her son's wedding happenings, when his wife to be is known not to be a dog-lover and a specific request has been made concerning the required absence of kiki-dog, that for it to appear even for a couple of photographs, in total disregard for the bride's feelings on her wedding day, would be manifestly unkind.

To put it mildly.

I absolutely adore my dog, kiki.

But a wedding is not the place for a dog.

Get a dog sitter or stay at home

OP I think your idea is the best way to not get along with your Dil.
It is her wedding, she doesn't like dogs.
Dogs do not usually attend weddings.
I have a friend who is a wedding photographer for over 210 years and there has never been a dog at a wedding.

I would not like to go to a wedding with a dog in attendance.

OP your last sentence that this whole thing feels mean anyway......
what did you mean? what is the mean bit?
is it you taking the dog or you being asked not to take the dog?

Also the Venue. If it is upmarket might not even allow dogs.

MawB no, it’s an awful idea. And as someone with experience of estrangement, please see OP that developing a good prioritised relationship with your DIL is essential for your future happiness regarding grandchildren and your DS.

Good luck!

Baggs
unkind yes and ironic
The OP is putting her own wishes before that of her future DIL on the couple's big day.

The dog will have no clue about what's going on.

I have 3 cats that are like my kids. I consider them family.

Now - this is NOT your wedding.
Your desire to have YOUR dog in THEIR wedding pictures made my jaw drop.

I truly hope this thread is not serious. It cannot be.

Just in case it is - go to wedding WITHOUT the dog. Get a dog sitter. Have fun.
End of story

Do NOT insist your dog to meet their future kids, go to their home with your dog or have a visit to your home with the dog if they are uncomfortable with any of these arrangements.

The only reason to take your dog to the wedding is if you want to fracture your relationship with your son and daughter in law.

If you want the dog in your family photos, hire a photographer at your own leisure.

Send puppy to the spa, or skip the wedding. Your choice. If you skip it though, for a dog, you might never repair the damage.

I’d never forgive my mom for choosing a dog over my wedding

You ask: are you being silly? Answer : yes.
Your daughter in law-to-be has expressly said she does not want the dog there, so you can't: 'just go ahead anyway and bring him out for the odd photo.'

I did go to a wedding where the bride insisted on her two dogs attending the service, which they ruined; whining and barking all the way through, clawing at the pews, and straining on their leashes to get out. No photographs were taken with them because it poured with rain on their way in, they managed to get wet and muddy and the bride couldn't allow them anywhere near her beautiful dress. The dogs disappeared before the reception, because the hotel flatly refused to allow them in.

Unless you sort out your priorities now, you may put your relationship in real jeopardy in future situations. I can just see future threads= I’m going to visit new dgc in hospital and DIL says I mustn’t bring my dog; it’s my dgc first Christmas and DIL says I can’t bring the dog etc etc .,source a good kennels and woman up

there is a company my daughter uses called Trusted Home Sitters - they are very good and happy to dog sit. We went to a wedding where the brother of the bride brought his b****y dog - a springer spaniel - into the church - mayhem - it was very rude and totally took the attention off the bridal couple. PS There is no-one more 'doggy' than me but I would NEVER take any dog to a wedding. Kennels are fine too. They really are.

Kiki2

Based on your background in GN, you clearly do not have the relationship you wish to enjoy with your AC (see links below)

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1263837-Finding-it-difficult-to-bond-with-DD

www.gransnet.com/forums/relationships/1264584-Finding-my-adult-children-selfish

If you have expressed your unhappiness for not being able to take your dog to the wedding, please apologize.
"I am so sorry I wanted to take my dog to your wedding and for him to be in the wedding pictures
This is your wedding and I will respect your decisions"

As I think someone said up-thread, perhaps you could consider having some wedding photos of yourself and your husband Photoshopped, so that it looks like your dogs were there?

Perhaps some of the problems outlined on the other threads occurred because you always want to take your dog with you; your family is happy to visit you but don't necessarily want the dog in their homes.