Apologising

Absolutely Charlieb, your daughter is quite right! Do please stop those sorrys. They don't help anyone and you have done nothing to apologise for. As a matter of fact it's shoppers who pay their wages and the way the shoppers get around is neither here not there.

If it is a habit then I tend to lean towards thinking it might be a good one in that it can 'calm' a prospective awkward situation. Needlesss to say I'm a peacemaker at all costs.

Alexa, your shopping list must be very precise. Aren't you ever spontaneous? What if you just fancy a cream bun on impulse?

Last week in the supermarket, someone veered out into the path of my trolley without warning. I didn't actually hit them, and said sorry (I have no idea why, unless as suggested we do this from habit). The response from the other person was to call me a silly bitch! Nice.... maybe apologising is over-used?

I understand that in Germany when children are taught English it’s with humor ( basically taking the mick) that they all laugh at us Brits for our use of the the word and the fact we go about saying sorry all the time!

Oh Please CharlieB do not let a few rude people spoil the quality of life and feel the need to stay in. Your daughter is right, YOU have every right to be there. Unfortunately we cannot improve their manners but we can improve your confidence. Stop apologising when you are not in the wrong. Read my previous post a few posts up and ask yourself the questions I posed, you will find the first action after 'I am sorry' is 'It is MY fault'so go no further as it is NOT your fault. Hold your head up and just take responsibility for your own actions not their lack of manners. Just to add a story. Last week in M&S a lady in a mobility scooter who clearly thought she had priority over any other shoppers was barging around quite fast and suddenly reversed without looking or a care for anyone in her way and drove quite hard into a frail elderly gentleman balancing a basket with items in and sent both him and his shopping flying all over the floor. Did she apologise or have any concerns?? Nope she rudely said I don't know why your sympathy is with him I AM the one who is disabled THAT is the type of person disabled or not who clearly needs to learn what sorry means! Get back out there and live the life your entitled to Good Luck and there are still some decent folk about x

Gaggi3 Are we to believe that this is DH opinion or yours ?

"Alexa, your shopping list must be very precise. Aren't you ever spontaneous? What if you just fancy a cream bun on impulse?"

Absolutely. I'd not appreciate "Sorry I bought us a cream cake each" unless it was meant as a joke.

Brandy Butter, I think that your post deserves a thread of its own as it raises the matter of safety when using mobility scooter.

I just got one . I am very careful I must say. I asked the checkout woman at my local coop if I am allowed to ride the scooter in the store and she said yes but only if I can control it very well. I trust that that dangerous riders are warned by the manager and if necessary excluded from the shop.

BradfordLass72. I'm so sorry you had such a bad experience with your mother. Maybe that's why you are a bit tough on Alexa. I assume she had something in her trolley/basket that she didn't intend to put there for some reason. It can happen. I don't think saying "Sorry, I didn't mean to put that in the basket" or "Sorry that was a mistake can you take it off please?" is wrong. I don't think it implies that the other is over-critical.
Usually it's a good thing to say sorry. There are a few nasty people who twist it and use it against you but I truly hope and think they are in the minority. I expect we've all come across one at some time in our life and it's best just to avoid them if possible.

dogsmother. Crumbs!

Alexa. I too use a mob scooter and a powered wheelchair. Neither are easy to steer and neither stop as soon as I try to stop them. Going out where there are people is a nightmare. I stop on the path until people have gone by. I only use my small coop and manage to walk round it- oh I lie - I went to Liddl recently but it was a Liddl too far and by the time I was queuing to pay I was perspiring and nearly fainting with pain.
Good luck with your scooter and I do hope it works really well for you. I would be glad to find out about a good safe one, although I am out of funds to buy right now.

I think if he said "I bought myself a cream cake" that would warrant a 'sorry'!

My husband of 46 years has never ever apologised for anything...he says to say sorry is a sign of weakness.....I told him it’s quite the opposite! We agree to differ. I would rather not have an apology if it’s thrown at you as is obviously not meant. I dislike weak people who refuse to accept they are wrong, apologise and move on.

I completely agree saggi

Sometimes I feel as though I'm in one of those strange dreams when everyone knows what they are talking about except me. ?

N27, very droll. Love it. Thank you.

I hate it when someone apologises and the response is "It's too late for sorry now". Well you can't apologise before you've done it can you?

Apologising for something someone else has done is virtually a definition of being English, isn’t it?

I don't see much of a difference between the 'sorrys' you're talking about. I think it's that, rather than a sorry as an apology to express genuine regret, you see this as a insincere apology to head off criticism? It makes me wonder what your response would be to the same question Alexa? Perhaps your OH just sees his response as conversation, or is apologising for not getting the 2 items you obviously wanted? When he's done all the shopping, and you see that there's only one item and query it with him, maybe he thinks you're not as easygoing as you do. This must be one of those things that pushes your buttons. With me it's grammar but only where other people are concerned, I'm much too old to be checking grammar all the time.

Justwokeup, you express pretty well what I feel about it.
It's not my husband BTW it's my lovely son and I sometimes fear that I was too critical of him when he was a child. That is what pushes my button.
Sometimes it seems merely a habitual "sorry ". I heard him saying it to his brother too.

Gaggi3 You're not Pam Ayres, are you?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4oydSZTAns

Just interested to know how one can buy an unexpected shopping item

Shysal: Reminds me of a "game" played by some urchins in a supermarket many, many years ago of dropping items surreptitiously into an unsuspecting shopper's trolley! I'd loved to have been around at check-out time!

Rufus it's those unexpected items that arrive in the bagging area and you think, I don't remember putting you in my trolley
Usually chocolate bars sneaked in by DH.