Why don't people die anymore?

One very sad trend I've noticed is for prem babies who don't survive birth to be described as 'born sleeping'. In that instance the euphemism sounds far more gentle and appropriate.

When I visited the USA for the first and only time, I was slightly puzzled by the signs that led me to the 'rest room'. Naively, I expected the odd sofa or easy chair where I could take a break from shopping. But there it was - just the loo!

Another American euphemism, seen in Macy's window: 'intimate garments'. Oh dear!

@Katek - I've been transcribing Birth Marriage and Death index files onto computer... one thing that struck me as very sad was the inclusion of children who had died and had not even been named - they appear as (Female) or (Male) in the lists...

@anno - and as for the 'bathroom' that had neither bath nor shower...
I overheard a little American girl once telling her daddy that she had seen a horse 'go to the bathroom in the street'!

Should I say two of my babies were born dead? Is the medical profession wrong to describe them as stillbirths? I know they died but forty years on I still prefer to think of them as stillbirths not dead at birth

Oh dear 'twain' sounds as if they don't even make it to the restroom esp if flies with them

It's so much more gentle Annieb. I'm sorry for your losses.

I say 'died'. I do get quite confused, if someone uses a euphemism, I have a horrible habit of asking 'Do you mean they have died?'. I just have to make sure they mean what I think they mean.

'Passed' really did confuse me, I asked if they were divorced because I thought she meant 'Past', as in, past tense husband. Which he was, but in a more definite way!

Katek, thank you . I just do not understand what is so wrong with choosing a more gentle word if it helps people. I doubt there are many who do not understand what passed away means so if it is chosen to ease grief it cannot be wrong surely. We no longer call children who are in need of foster homes - waifs and strays , illigitmate babies are no longer called base child or bastard , a woman in a partnership is no longer a concubine , all these were part of our language

I always did like 'stillborn' for babies. Is the word 'dead' perhaps too harsh in sound? Is that what it is? It sounds very abrupt and final. 'Tot', 'Dead', 'Dod' all from the Germanic branch of languages and quite hard in sound, whereas 'mort' in French, with the 't' silent, is so much softer and I do remember thinking years ago that it sounded kinder.

There is nothing gentle about being dead but I think it is worth being gentle with people's feelings.
I think it is likely that many bereaved parents would be like Anniebach and not want to use the most blunt of terms.
The OP, tho, referred to TV & radio reports and I think it is only sensible for them to make clear what has happened - e.g. died / was killed.

grannieactivist, your daughter and I think alike on this.

I don't mind saying 'died' but am less comfortable with 'dead'.

An interesting comment Petallus. I'd not really thought of it before. 'Died' to me does sound less harsh /blunt somehow than 'dead'.

Anniebach I too had 2 babies who died. They weren't stillbirths though but died soon after they were born. Saying even after all this time they are 'dead' is harder than saying they 'died'. How odd is that? The outcome is the same after all. The use of certain words obviously helps us cope with the reality

I've had a similar experience re the word 'bathroom' in the US. 'Mom' said a little boy at a family I was visiting, 'the cat's been to the bathroom on the settee'. I couldn't stop laughing and of course the family couldn't understand why I found it so funny.

I always say 'died' or 'dead' and I don't know anyone who ever uttered the words 'passed away' but there must be some [to support this thread.]
Whatever words we choose to use, the media should say dead, or died.I have also noticed the media use of the words 'loved ones' instead of 'family'.

I expect that's to include all sorts of significant others that people might have.

i can't believe that some people actually would like to delete certain words or phrases from our language. It's all these different shades of meaning that make it such a rich language. So much for 'free speech'

I was watching something on telly earlier where a mother said her son had passed. There was I thinking he had died when she added.....his 11 plus!

I'm pretty sure that on Radio 4 the news readers/announcers always say that such and such person has died. I cannot recall Cathy Clugston (when she is reading the news) ever saying "passed over, gone to live with Jesus, gone to a better place, shuffled off this mortal coil, etc.

vegas You would probably say the service is being held at the crematorium.

It's the same with all things concerning death, people tend to shy away from talking about it, which, when we are all going to die someday, is a bit sweeping it under the carpet. It leaves relatives not knowing what to do for the best, what wishes the person would have, wills not made and families fighting or worrying for long periods of time over money and property which could have been sorted easily. Surely wishes and wills put in order in enough time and a quick conversation would solve it all and then families can get on with enjoying each other. Even the young generations need to face up to it as a thread on here recently about who to leave the children with if the parents died. So it is the responsibility of every adult, not just the old ones. And I would rather say died, die etc. A childhood friend recently died and I had to tell my brother as we all played together.

Now, of course, we would have to leave lists of sites that we use and passwords to inform people who others may not know we know. If you know what I mean.

This isn't about free speech, anya; it's about Plain English— using the simplest, most universal, non-euphemistic expression to facilitate understanding for clarity of meaning.

I use "passed away" when I'm feeling sad and vulnerable and "died" when I'm feeling strong. I like "conked out."

Surely euphemisms add colour to the language although can confuse people who have English as a second language. When I was teaching Year 3 we tasted several foods...one of which was Marmite. We made sandwiches and then ate them. After one child asked me if I'd eaten the Marmite and I replied, "Oh no it's poison!" meaning it was disgusting. Half the class burst into tears as my Polish children thought they were going to die. I had to get one of the Polish staff to explain. Once they'd got over the shock and understood they loved the idea and used to try to make up their own euphemisms

Twaddle Bags we have a rich and expressive language. Any attempt by anyone to suggest it should be reduced to its 'simplest, most universal, non-euphemistic' form of expression reeks of the Thought Police.

Do you honestly believe that some people don't understand what various expressions like 'passed away' 'popped their clogs' 'kicked the bucket' mean?

I can however perfectly understand how some people whose 'loved ones' have died violently may prefer the direct 'killed' or 'murdered'

Nothing should be allowed to dilute our amazingly descriptive language. It's the very ambiguity of certain words and phrases that allow us to play with it, pun and create jokes.

'Passed away' has been in use for as long as I can remember and I think it's a nice gentle way of describing death in certain circumstances, and it's understand by anyone with English as a first language.

But I do remember being genuinely confused when an American friend referred to someone having 'passed'.

About 20 years ago a friend was being driven back from a conference by a male colleague and was alarmed when he suggested a 'comfort stop'