Why don't people die anymore?

I'm getting to this blog late, but wanted to add my two pennies. The use of the word "passed" for "died" continues to drive me nuts here in the U.S. It is becoming more and more common and I have to press my lips together to keep from blurting out "DIED!"

Something to strive for then Bags

That's a good idea catlat - if you are sympathetic to the words or phrases used by the bereaved person you won't go wrong.

I'm so glad to see a discussion on this topic. Personally, I really dislike 'passed away' - it sounds as if they've simply faded; 'passed' is even worse: passed where? It makes me think of mediums. I would say 'died' but I think some people find this too stark so I would try to use the same words as the bereaved person uses.

And alongside respecting that right, anya (and I raise no objections) is respecting the right of people to say which expressions they prefer when someone uses one they dislike, especially in a non-personal way like in the pedants' corner of this online forum.

Thank you Anya, what I was trying to say but being Welsh a case of why use ten words when you can use a hundred !

And that's the nub of it Annebach respecting the right of others to choose how they express themselves in difficult circumstances, or indeed in any circumstances.

That's probably it, soon - if they're quoting a relative they can hardly change the wording.

I think I heard "passed away" by the BBC concerning Anne Kirkbride. I think that was her husband or partners words, so perhaps they were repeating his words.

FlickertyB, your choice , I too say died but I respect the choice of those who do not . Personally I think we need more gentleness so if a doctor chooses to say passed away I am sure he/she is just choosing what they consider a more gentle way of explaining - your husband is dead

Newsreaders read what they're given on the autocue, soon.

They definitely said "died" yesterday when talking about Demis Roussos.

Perhaps they've been issued with new guidelines.

I've noticed that for some time now both BBC and ITV have been warning us that "this programme contains scenes which some viewers may find upsetting." For many years the word used was 'disturbing'.

I am pretty sure that they said "passed away" recently instead of "died". I did a bit of a double take myself. I had not heard them say that before.
May be it is a particular newsreader who does this?

The BBC always say "died", or am I wrong?

Anniebach my real query was why public organisations like the BBC and doctors in a hospital environment and discussions in casual contact basis are using euphemisms like 'passed away'. Cases like you mention are very different and it is quite understandable some people in that situation use euphemisms. Personally, though, I do, and will, always avoid them no matter how close or dear the deceased person is.

Nae bother, annieb

My error thatbags and I apologise, but as you say - I was mistaken so therefore did not jump surely

I worked in a good care home in the 1970s. One morning we couldn't wake a resident, the local doctor was telephoned and told exactly that. He said he'd come over and did so half an hour later. When we led him to her room he examined her, looked embarrassed , and apologised for having eaten his breakfast before coming.He had assumed that we had called because she had died. we found this surprising as had that been the case we would have told him. Happily she later woke up and also had breakfast!

When I was a nurse we were taught that we should always say that someone had died and never to use euphemisms as confusion could occur. If for example one were to say 'gone to a better place' that could infer a transfer to somewhere nicer. It wouldn't have helped the grieving process if I had caused confusion.

Each to their own choice of words, so long as they don't cause offence - it is natural to be upset by some words IMO because of the memories (good or bad) that they evoke.
To me it is important that people can talk about death and dying if they choose to do so, and for many that will be difficult or feel awkward, mainly because the subject is often hushed up or the subject changed.

You are mistaken, annieb. It was another poster who asked that question at the start of the thread.

Perhaps you might check your facts before jumping on someone.

because thatbags you asked - why do we no longer say people have died, so I ask why should we? A darling lady almost ninety died last summer, her husband had died four years earlier, a long and happy marriage, she never referred to him as dead or since he died, just since he has gone or since I lost Eric, he had not walked out on her, she had not mislaid him , he had died, she chose gone or lost . She was at one time secretary to Christopher Fry and had an excellent knowledge of the English language . I would not have questioned her choice of gone and lost and not died, her choice

So for me the answer to your question is quite simple - they choose not to just as you choose to question why they do

Our language is rich in synonym and metaphor. The trouble with metaphors that sound apposite at the time of coinage is that with overuse they become clichés. Perhaps this is why I will come back and haunt anyone who speaks of me (one day) as having 'passed away' though if a eulogist refers to me as having 'kicked the bucket', that person can expect a lively haunting as well.

I don't understand why my post makes you cross, anniebach. What was I criticising? I certainly wasn't criticising the different expressions that people use when they mean 'died'. As you imply, it's up to them what expression they use. That's fine by me.

But saying that preferring 'died' to 'passed away' is an attempt to restrict free speech is simply wrong. It's just a statement of diction preference, not an attempt to stop people talking about the deaths of loved ones, which is what limiting free speech about death would be about.

I'm not ashamed to be able to distinguish between the subjects free speech and plain English. I was talking facts, only facts.

but it was a critisicm thatbags, I say my husband died aged 28. My parents died in their late seventies, my babies were not born dead, they were stillborn, another euphemism ? The BBC does not announce the death of anyone as passed away, they say died, killed, found dead, murdered etc, it is people who are coping with grief who choose to say passed away, lost, gone, their choice surely just as nit picking is my choice and pendantic is yours