FannyCornforth
MadeInYorkshire your daughter sounds lovely 
Thank you *Fanny and *Maremia ...
Yes she was beautiful, loud and bubbly (the only person never to need a mic when performing!), very talented in the things she loved the most, loving, and caring; BUT the disease which got worse over time because we got little to no help (and for that I blame this Govt), could make her very unpleasant, I would go as far as to say she could be nasty, vicious, jealous and nearly always very depressed, so much so she could not bear the unending emotional pain she had - she even said that it wasn't fair that my physical pain could be treated, yet her emotional pain couldn't be. She was very difficult to live with, but unlike her father who showed up for the first time in 2 years when she died, I always stood by her, whereas he chucked her out when she was 16 I think. By that time my health had deteriorated so much that I couldn't cope with her, but as she wanted to stay at the school which supported her so much, she went to stay with some friends of mine who had horses she could and did ride whenever she liked.
When she died, I called the DWP to stop her benefit and to claim a Funeral Expenses Payment, so that I could pay for her funeral - having not been able t work for 13 years and having to exist on benefits, I had no savings at all. However, at that tie the DWP were paying me wrongly (thereby hangs another tale), and because of that, it was refused. I was so, so upset, and had to rely on her father, who was abusive to all of us, to pay for it, and boy did he make me suffer ...
Said things like “it’s not a wedding or jamboree”
- Refusing to let me have a USB copy of the funeral service, when I knew I wouldn’t be able to remember anything afterwards
- Refusing to let her best friend go to visit her in the Chapel of Rest, when we had told her not to come on the day as it wasn’t pleasant. She was devastated, and it was cruel.
- Refusing me the choice of photo on the Order of Service
- Fighting with my other daughter and I over ‘extras’ like a photo reflection to music, despite my mum offering to pay for them. We got it in the end, and he said that actually it was lovely, but when I asked him for baby photos, which he had, he actually sent one of his other daughter!! He did a Eulogy, which I could never have managed, and had it read out by the celebrant - it was a CV, and half of it was wrong - totally unemotional, he didn't know her at all. Lots of people commented on that. We crowd - funded for her wake. Afterwards when the DWP were finally paying me correctly (with the help of a lovely chap who I contacted after he was on the Martin Lewis TV Show, I appealed the decision in the hope that we would be able to get a stone to mark her grave, but even though it went to a further appeal panel, they wouldn't give in, as the 'decision at the tine of asking was correct'. Heart breaking ... sorry have hijacked the post again, but it helps to get it off my chest a little ....
It was just awful. The worst was threatening us with not getting her ashes back if we didn’t stop arguing, or as he put it “I can always adopt the ‘nuclear option’”. All the calls, emails and texts sounded as though he was speaking to a business colleague. He had no concept of being poor and trying to scrape by on disability benefits, and couldn’t believe I had no savings, and despite saying often that he was “in his 40th year of working full time, most of which has been a 40% taxpayer” and having 6 cars, he was apparently worried about securing £4k, the bare minimum cost of just the funeral. He was desperately trying to get ‘remuneration from her estate’, and my daughter and I howled laughing when we went to close her bank account, as she would have done, when we found out her estate was the grand total of £16.52! Come to think of it, I haven't had my half!